There’s been reports that Jessica Simpson‘s new boyfriend Eric Johnson is broke as shit and is simply riding her large-breasted gravy train to wherever the hell gravy trains go. (Her purse in case she gets stuck on a plane?) Now comes news he’s dropped out of business school so they can always be together/let him move in because he, uh, left his wallet in the car. Do you mind, baby? Love ya forever. Starpulse reports:
And the relationship is going so well, the ex-San Francisco 49er, who graduated from Yale University, has decided against moving across the country to begin a two-year course at the prestigious Wharton school in August.
A source tells Us Weekly magazine, “He doesn’t want to move to Philadelphia and leave her so soon after they got together. He really wants to be with Jessica.”
Wow. She pays for everything and has naturally ginormous tits. I never thought I’d say this, but Jessica Simpson just might be the perfect woman after all. Sure, maybe she clearly eats other women so they’ll stop stealing her boyfriends, but that’s part of the mystery.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:51 pm
во первых
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:51 pm
haha take that tavarisht!
Doc Schweinstrudel | July 29, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Look. “First” is “perviy” not “vo-pervih” (“firstly”) and it’s tOvarish not tavarisht
Lowlife Suitor | July 29, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Hey Doc, I think I love you (yeah I’m desperate and have no taste and clearly don’t mind very large boned women with mustaches).
Doc Schweinstrudel | July 29, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Sorry, we Russians don’t accept “I love you” notes from 1:00 am Moscow time. Which is reserved for bj terrorism voicemail
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:17 pm
thanks for the F7s doc you commie lol
Howdy There | July 29, 2010 at 5:25 pm
I hate the dudedudedude
Doc Schweinstrudel | July 29, 2010 at 5:29 pm
commie or don’t callme my iphone seems to only accepts calls from Mel Gibson.
FrankNfrtr | July 29, 2010 at 6:45 pm
I’m going to break in this time to make a prediction. Sorry dude.
Jess is early days preggers. Check out those massive veiny knockers.
Mr NFL will be proposing marriage very soon. Let’s all hope he gets what he deserves.
lovelovelove111 | July 30, 2010 at 8:07 am
Do you want to experience i-nterracial da-ting? I met my black guy on
{—–W W W.b l a c k w h i t e m i n g l e -℃0 M——}.
It is an interracial dating site for s-exy singles of all races.
there has been thousands of single members online and many black and white single girls or guys waitting for you maybe you will like it.
“
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Howdy, he hates ya right back ..|.. ..|.. how bout a couple birds lol
Doc, id carry an old brick phone if mel was calling, in case i have to throw it at him
Mr. Nice Guy | July 29, 2010 at 4:56 pm
He can go to Business School anywhere. He made the correct call, she is still very special.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:56 pm
perfect woman? doesnt jessica supposedly fuck like an animal too? :D
fish, gravy trains end… in Turkey…. (*ducks down*)
WIN, PLACE, AND SHOW!
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:57 pm
dammit not fast enuf, nice guy took 3rd..
sean | July 29, 2010 at 5:01 pm
I like sex with 12 year old boys.
sean | July 29, 2010 at 5:03 pm
That was not the real “sean”. Someone is impersonating me. Probably Satan, or someone strongly influenced by him.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:15 pm
you obviously watched that church lady too many times on snl. see, tv’s the devil.
sean | July 29, 2010 at 5:47 pm
No, you don’t understand spiritual warfare. What is now beginning to happen to me on a mild level is what happened to Mel. I’ve been witnessing for the Lord on this site and have been a voice for truth and reason. The devil wants to discredit all people who do those things, so I expected the attacks to begin. Now, my efforts are not as visible nor as successful as Mel’s efforts, so I don’t expect the Devil to go after me with that much gusto.
sean | July 29, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I hope he doesn’t take advantage of that sweet girl. His move is definitely suspicious. The last thing Jessica needs is another heartbreak, but in her condition she could be taken advantage of easily.
sean for real | July 29, 2010 at 5:41 pm
I DO like sex with 12 year old boys.
Joe Simpson | July 29, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Wow, Look at those TITS!
sean | July 29, 2010 at 5:06 pm
actually i love gerbils up my ass. and i might start a website where i get bukkaked all day, it’ll be called thesuperFACIAL. its just so…. thuuuuper, wheeeeeeeeee……………….
Doc Schweinstrudel | July 29, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Laughed my ass off but he deserves it for misrepresenting christianity
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:11 pm
yeah carefull guys he might buy and sell us on the market! lmfao
Joe Simpson | July 29, 2010 at 5:12 pm
those tits are amazing. FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!
sean | July 29, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Quick, Joe, don’t let it go to waste. Cream on my face!
Rush | July 29, 2010 at 5:14 pm
HUGE TITS
pimp | July 29, 2010 at 5:14 pm
how was this guy ever in the NFL? he looks like a massive pussy….
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:18 pm
he has a butt chin like brady
pimp | July 29, 2010 at 5:24 pm
speaking of butt’s, i would love to stuff my tongue up her asshole…
stinky mcpoop | July 29, 2010 at 5:22 pm
He dropped out for good reason – writing a business plan that revolves around banging jessica simpson isn’t easy.
Have fun Eric, you lucky star titty-fucker, you.
Frasier Crane | July 29, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Yalies are all chubby chasers.
Howdy There | July 29, 2010 at 5:27 pm
dudedudedude~You suck big cock. Get lost.
Howdy There | July 29, 2010 at 5:32 pm
You are not funny` Fuck off. Dudedudedude.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:33 pm
you fuck off. i’ll make a point of posting twice as much tomorrow
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:36 pm
let me guess ur sean right? And you spelled it wrong. It’s morse code for go fuck yourself
Howdy There | July 29, 2010 at 5:39 pm
@dude dud dud You are not funny. Get lost fucktard.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 9:25 pm
fuck u if u think ur gettin the last word ..|.. ..|..
Sardonic | July 29, 2010 at 5:28 pm
That ignorant young man is hooked mammary herion.
Sardonic | July 29, 2010 at 5:32 pm
on mammary heroin.
Kelley | July 29, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Wow, she is sure showing an awful lot of tit for a Jesus-loving Bible-thumper … good luck with this one … NOT !!!
Mr. Nice Guy | July 29, 2010 at 7:11 pm
Judge ye not…..
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 5:36 pm
AMF its guinness time……..
Howdy There | July 29, 2010 at 5:40 pm
dumb ass.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 9:18 pm
..|.. ok u really showed me ..|..
Jason | July 29, 2010 at 5:45 pm
I heard she’s gonna replace Simon on American Idol. Is that true?
Jill | July 29, 2010 at 10:23 pm
HA! The guys a GENIUS!
captain america | July 30, 2010 at 12:30 am
well, HE MUST BE STUPID TO HOOK UP WITH HER.
www.videomove.net | July 30, 2010 at 6:48 am
A very sweet woman
frisbeeken | July 30, 2010 at 8:48 am
#1 THOSE TITS ARE SO FUCKING INCREDIBLE !!!!!
#2 If chicks wanna hang with fuckin losers like that then they get what they deserve. Considering her father was a baptist minister that turned into a manager that pimped out his own daughter, I’d say she’s got a Daddy complex. That old Nick and Jessica show told that story.
#3 I don’t know if the tits could keep me aroused over that cottage cheese ass and legs. I wouldn have to throw a blanket over the bottom and go to work. Beautiful fuckin tits though !!!!!!!!!!!!!
flesh | July 30, 2010 at 7:20 pm
veins are startin to show on those tities
kim | July 30, 2010 at 10:57 pm
what type of stupid ass question is that? you people are such idiots, why is it that you find something ignorant to say about everything, leave that girl and her relationship alone, it is none of your business.
mjm | August 1, 2010 at 10:46 am
She would more sexier covered up for most guys like adventure and she leaves none.