May 28, 2011 – Tony Romo marries Candice Crawford in Dallas, TX. Three-tier cupcake stands are involved.
May 29, 2011 – People magazine announces the wedding.
May 31, 2011 – Jessica Simpson turns up at Chili’s.
Jesus, it’s like clockwork. If I were Swiss, I’d have a perfectly synchronized boner with a magnifying glass and compass right now.