Jessica Simpson: ‘If I’m So Pregnant, Then How Do You Explain This Purse?! Dunn Dunn Dunnnnnn!’
Despite the fact she openly started having sex immediately after giving birth so she can return to the delicious, comforting buffet of pregnancy and Weight Watchers hate her now, here’s Jessica Simpson seriously trying to hide the deep-fried bun in her oven with a purse even though she’s looked perpetually pregnant since the day after Dukes of Hazzard came out. She’d look less suspicious with a live cow hanging over her shoulder because everyone would just assume she’s gonna eat it. “I bet the Arby’s sauce is in her boots,” they’d say.