The Name’s Penis. Jessica Penis.

As part of her ongoing quest to let everyone know how much she bangs her husband in return for letting him live off her money, Jessica Simpson wished Eric Johnson a Happy Birthday yesterday by saying how much she loves the porn star name he gave her.

Happy Birthday Eric Johnson!!! Thank you for giving me the sexiest porn star name. Love, your wife, Jessica Johnson

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on

Get it? Because his last name means dick. She’s Jessica Dick. Jess Cock for short. (Sorry, these are awful. I blew my load with the headline. It happens to guys.)

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