Jessica Simpson Tried To Get Lap Band Surgery

October 1st, 2012 // 44 Comments
$3 Million For This?
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When Jessica Simpson signed a $3 million deal with Weight Watchers, she just assumed babies weighed 100 pounds and all the weight would magically fall out of her vagina while she keeps eating macaroni and cheese and M&Ms. Turns out it works the exact opposite of that and she kept getting fatter after giving birth. Who knew? RadarOnline reports:

“After having her daughter Maxwell, Jessica felt there was no way she could ever lose the weight on her own because she has struggled so much in the past and her post partum weight seemed to be growing,” a close friend of the fashion designer and singer told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview.
“So like a true Hollywood girl, she sought out a quick surgical fix – lap band surgery!”
However, health experts wisely advised the Dukes of Hazzard star that a quick fix wasn’t the answer following the May 1 birth, and after seeking out two different doctors for opinions, “she was persuaded to keep pushing to do it the natural way,” said her pal.

If you’re wondering like I immediately did why not one but two Hollywood doctors wouldn’t take Jessica Simpson’s money, I’m guessing it’s because she’s a high-profile celebrity, so if they botched shit up there’s a pretty huge chance they’ll get sued out of existence. Or eaten. Which is why Jessica should’ve disguised herself as one of the Real Housewives because no one gives a shit how bad their surgeries turn out. Seriously, have you ever seen any of those shows? It’s like looking at a room full of Madames if Madame was a gold-digger and somehow more dead inside.

Photos: INFdaily, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News Splash News, WENN

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  1. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s gotten so fat that even the black man standing behind her is not interested

  2. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (Tuna fish is NOT from chicken…..tuna fish is NOT from chicken)

  3. BeBo Wobbley

    Wow, must be a really slow news day.Fish is just now publishing bullshit from RadarOnLine that was first being passed around the online gossip sites 10 days ago. LOL! Way to stay topical, Fishman!

  4. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t despair, Jess. I once had a boss that had a thing for women your size.”

  5. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    You can actually see the weight of the left jowl pull her head to one side. Amazing

  6. Jack Ketch

    Fraud !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Weight Watchers is paying her 3 mil and this is what she tries to pull ??

  7. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Im trying to figure out the timeline. Was she gonna take the WEIGHT WATCHERS money and have us all believe thats how she lost the weight, meanwhile sneak out and get lap band surgery., Cuz if thats the case even ier fans have to admit thats a HUGE douchebag move!

  8. Sanity

    Maybe those doctors just knew that she’s not even remotely close to being dangerously overweight and surgery wasn’t worth the risk.

    However, I’m sure if you keep calling healthy women like Jessica Simpson fat, any chick over 100lbs will be begging for the surgery.

    • JC

      And if people defend Jessica Simpsons, women will start to think it’s healthy to double down on junk food and pack on 150 pounds while pregnant.

      • Sanity

        You really think she gained 150lbs while she was pregnant? She’s 5’3″ I bet she weighs AT MOST 150lbs in these pictures currently! If she weighed 300lbs while pregnant, I’m pretty sure her ankles would’ve snapped.

        Women gain weight during pregnancy. It’s a biological fact. I don’t know what she was eating, you don’t know what she was eating. I’m tired of people calling her fat, when she’s (at worst) normal!

      • mrsmass

        everything. she was eating everything.

      • MrsEllis

        That’s really your problem if you impregnate and commit yourself to a woman who takes her lifestyle cues from tabloid stories.

  9. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Lil Benny Waffle
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t care, still hot.

  10. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Hammy
    Commented on this photo:

    FFFFFFOOOOODDDD.

  11. Ben

    It should be against the law to let stupid people reproduce.

  12. oo

    how many posts are you gonna make about jessica simpson being fat? she isn’t losing the baby weight. she wasn’t thin before either. how much more can you say about it?

  13. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    guttboy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! If you’d have shown Geroge Stephanopoulos this picture 10 years ago I bet you he would have killed himself.

  14. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    I dunno, I think she looks good considering how fucking massive she had gotten while pregnant. If she didn’t have about 150 pounds worth of tits to carry around, she’d look smaller.

  15. cc

    No, no, honey you need Roux-en-Y.

  16. Cock Dr

    Weight Watchers can’t be happy about this kind of publicity. Their 3 million dollar spokesbabe won’t/can’t follow the program and according to this “news” source is actively seeking ways to defraud the company.
    Bet there’s a nice bonus for Jess and her management team written into that contract if she hits certain weight loss numbers, but this is one cash cow that won’t deliver.

  17. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Palemon Pappassmearus
    Commented on this photo:

    Bigger sunglasses will make you look leaner

  18. Meaty, beefy, big, and bouncy? Perfect! I’m crazy about her anyway.

  19. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    If I remove my hands, size doubles.

  20. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica was just shown a picture of her back in 2005

  21. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey everybody, remember me? I’m the one who was famous for saying Tuna was Chicken!

  22. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright Jessica, please stop holding your breath, we’ll order the pizza!

  23. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Bucket of Jello SPOTTED

  24. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    They had to douse the mike in gravy to entice her on the show.

  25. Joe Blow

    She named her DAUGHTER “Maxwell”? Maxwell?

    Stop worrying about what the dumb cunt eats, she needs a psychological exam.

  26. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry, fat has clogged my ears, can you write the question down?

  27. anonym

    I hope she keeps those ginormous tits when (if ever) she slims down to pre-preggers weight.

    I’m cheering for her. Oh man, that would look so nice. Big fat tits on a slimmer body

  28. anonym

    it’s pretty easy for her to lose weight.

    all she has to do is eat HALF of what she eats now.

    Starving is the only easy way to lose weight.

  29. Now I don’t speak fluent Fame Whore but I’m pretty sure “consulted with 2 doctors” actuallly translates as “pimped herself out to Weight Watchers”.

  30. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    I always knew she was full of shit. If only she wasn’t such a fame whore she could’ve lost her weight naturally without the world’s spotlight on her.

  31. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Arzach
    Commented on this photo:

    And the dumb fat chick posse , check!

  32. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    Diane Sawyer done gone on vacation. I’m Jessica, and welcome to the Osama / Milt Rooney Debates.

  33. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Post Baby Body GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    This here ice cream done froze solid and don’t taste chocolatey at all. Damn Weight Watchers.

  34. “The natural way”

    What a load of shit. People really don’t have any clue about obesity. “The natural way” is her staying quite a bit heavier than she was pre-birth. The body likes doing shit like this and left to its own devices, it would.

  35. Motorboat Captain

    I’d still go to town on that. Can’t wait until she’s irrelevant enough to do porn.

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