Jessica Simpson ‘Shocked’ She Got Pregnant Again

January 16th, 2013 // 51 Comments
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Jessica Simpson stopped by The Tonight Show last night where she either tried to pretend it was a complete accident she got pregnant again ending all that stupid dieting and exercising or admitted she doesn’t know how babies are made. It literally could go either way. Via People:

The second pregnancy, she added, was not planned and surprised both her and fiancé Eric Johnson, whom she joked was “really proud” that it happened all over again so quickly.
“Apparently it was a part of God’s plan for my life,” Simpson says with a laugh. “I was extremely shocked. I was shocked because I was going through a lot of hormonal changes trying to get back to the old, vibrant Jessica. And you know, it was kind of like a one-night stand. And it happened … all over again!”

“Because, seriously, Jay, puttin’ semen in a woman’s vagina gets you pregnant? Ha! Them doctor’s are cray-zee. Which is why I know this here young’n's a gift from Jesus. He flew down from Heaven and put her in mah belly. Like hiding a Easter egg! Which is why we do that, you know? To celebrate where babies come from. Learnt it on mah ahPhone.”

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Chinaman

    White girl stoopid, very very stoopid

  2. Sliver

    She was heard saying, “I thought humans were like bumble bees, once and then they die.”

  3. Cock Dr

    He told her that he’d only put it in a little bit. Not all the way.

  4. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    When’s that wedding? Trying to time it between gestations?
    That could be difficult since Jess’s pregnancies last about 16 months.

  5. It is just embarrassing to me for Weight Watchers watching them try to get their money back by still using her fat, waddling ass on TV. The spot the other day with he and Jennifer Hudson was just pathetic.

  6. cc

    Her husband persuaded her her pussy was her asshole and told her wanted to try anal sex.

  7. How does someone so incredibly brain dead become so incredibly wealthy? Her adivsors must be geniuses.

  8. Gary Grant

    I’m sure her attorneys negotiated a pregnancy clause in the Weight Watcher’s contract then told Jess to get at it so she can get laid and paid.

  9. I don’t have a problem believing this. A woman who doesn’t know pudding makes you fat probably doesn’t know sperm makes you pregnant.

    • No shit, eh ? “I didn’t know it didn’t all come off with the baby.” I never heard a more dumb-assed thing in my life. Still shaking my head over that one. But then, does anyone remember the Chicken of the Sea thing ? Duh ………………

  10. anonymoose

    Her dumb husband was “really proud”? Ha! What a clown. It’s simple biological science, not any special effort. OBVIOUSLY.

    Is he just as proud of his bowel movements, too?

    People who bring children into the world due to uncontrolled bodily functions do not deserve to be parents.

  11. anonymoose

    Oops, not her dumb husband, her dumb fiance.

    • Cynnie

      Her boyfriend is laughing all the way to the bank..he’s gonna keep her preggers and fat and keep her money

  12. Natty Ice

    She stopped speaking, then slowly turned her head around to catch the gaze of an audience member whose mouth was moving in slow, methodical movements. “Those Peanute Butter Cups he’s eating need to be mine right now…” she thought to herself.

  13. Annie

    It still baffles me that people continue to believe that sex is like dancing or any other random consequence-free activity. Every time I hear drama about accidental pregnancies and STDs, I’m like, girl, at your age and with this technology you cannot afford to be a damn fool. It’s your fault if something happens.

    it’s like Honey Boo Boo’s uncle getting HIV and now his partner is in jail. I know it’s messed that he didn’t tell him he had HIV, but WHY didn’t you wear a condom, you fucking hick? Or get your partner tested before banging? It’s like you’re living in the damn Stone Age.

    Do people still don’t understand sex?

    • Deacon Jones

      That’s what happens when you raise a generation based on a national abstinence only stance for STDs to appease your wingnut base.

  14. Minky Wail

    “I think something bounced up into my undercarriage!”

  15. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pregnant Jessica Simpson Cleavage” Wow, so her cleavage is pregnant too?!

  16. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    dude, these things are going to explode!!!!

  17. vandinz

    Dem titties.

  18. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    doughnut
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do women have a need to show cleavage?

    She has nothing that any other human female has…except that
    hers are larger… so what? She already has a man and I wonder what he or any spouse thinks of her exposure.

    Her self-worth and security are in those boobs. How sad, how
    very sad. Can you only image how those girls are going to
    be raised:???

    • Annie

      I hope they’re not raised to hate women and think boobs are sinful, like they didn’t spend nine months of their lives latching on to a pair for survival.

  19. I could deal with her weight and her dubious intellectual prowess, but that VOICE! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH…

  20. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    skinny bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    HUGE.
    Hard to believe this was the same girl in Dukes of Hazzard.

  21. tom

    I don’t think it is possible to be dumber than she is. It wasn’t God, it was your husband’s penis, is it that difficult to understand?

  22. mrsmass

    so we’re suppose to believe the first one was planned? right.

    keep bleaching that hair jessica. the fumes are killing off what very few brain cells you may have left.

  23. “I was shocked because I was going through a lot of hormonal changes…”

    She didn’t say it outright, but I’m pretty sure she just confirmed my prediction: http://www.thesuperficial.com/jessica-simpson-pregnant-again-11-2012#comment-11429761

  24. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a “Dog the Bounty Hunter” movie now?

  25. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    The tips of those high heels are punching micro tears in the fabric of time/space.

    She just wiped out 5 galaxies walking on stage.

  26. Mario Starr

    She’s big as a house, but what I would give to motorboat those giant titties and put it in her pregnant ass.

  27. Colin

    GOD: Oh no, bitch, this one’s on you.

  28. NotoHos

    This ho looks more and more like Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife Beth each time she shows her face.

  29. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s pretty. It’s true that she has been both extremes of fat and thin, but her face has always been beautiful.

  30. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Number 2
    Commented on this photo:

    Jay Leno looks so smart it’s like he’s accepting a Nobel prize here. Love to have a thought balloon above his head.

  31. anonymous

    I think people are being a bit overly critical here. Sure, she’s known for being an air-head in PUBLIC, but that doesn’t mean she’s a complete brain dead moron. Accidents happen. She and her fiance could have been practicing safe sex but sometimes birth control fails or condoms break. Shit happens and people don’t need to be hugely critical douche bags about her personal life anyway.

  32. rae

    True, I’m a registered nurse, using birth control at the time and I got pregnant.

  33. She seems to be the kind of woman who gets pregnant if you even breathe in her direction. It would be all anal all the time if I was fucking her.

  34. Cliff

    Okay, I confess. I don’t know who this person is or what qualified her to be on this show. I’m not being facetious; I honestly do not know who she is. Not sure I want to know, either. Stupid people bore me.

  35. I bow down to the irony how it is gods plan when you’re too effin stupid for birth control. These third world country Americans just keep crackin me up.

  36. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    ortal
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like coco.

  37. She got paid $3 million by Weight Watchers to lose weight. The dumb heffer didn’t think about birth control?

  38. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    dietcokeho
    Commented on this photo:

    shes gorgeous. but what business does she have doing botox while shes pregnant? that makes me concerned.

  39. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care, I think she is hot as fuck. I love bigguns and I like a soft body.

  40. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant The Tonight Show
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d “bronsky” the hell out of her…..Beth too if I had the chance.

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