It’s Jessica Simpson’s Photoshopped Ass Cheek! Holy Shit!

I probably shouldn’t even be saying this because 99.9% of my business model is you guys having no idea about this information, but the Internet is full of porn. Buckets upon buckets of porn, and almost all of it’s free. You could spend the rest of your life watching it without spending a single dime and never make it to the end. It’s wonderful, and how I’m still alive today. Except when I see things like people losing their shit over the bottom of Jessica Simpson’s Photoshopped ass cheek sticking out of her Daisy Dukes, I can’t help but feel that a lot of you don’t get why or how we even have an Internet. Yeah, it’s fun to argue about vaccines and alleged serial rapists, but that’s all window dressing because scientists didn’t come up with faster methods of video delivery to cure cancer. Those nerdy men and women were lonely. Lonely as fuck. And on top of that, do you know what it’s like trying to buy porn at an adult bookstore? It’s just wall after wall of dildos. I tried once when I was 18 and found out what a masturbating trucker sounds like. That shit stays with you.

Good talk.

Photo: Instagram