Jessica Simpson Lands $3 Mil Weight Watchers Deal

December 12th, 2011 // 44 Comments
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After rumors circulated a few weeks back, Jessica Simpson has officially signed a $3 million deal with Weight Watchers, according to Page Six. The plan is to have her immediately start shedding her baby weight which seems problematic considering she spent the past two years looking almost exactly the same as she does with a gestating baby in her uterus. So basically Weight Watchers just placed a $3 million bet on Jessica Simpson not eating. I understand millionaires enjoy their gambles, but they’d have better luck betting $10 billion that a shark can not only learn to drive but parallel park without using the rearview. I don’t think anyone here is doubting the greater chance of that. “Parking’s mostly about feel anyway,” I can hear you saying.

Photos: Getty, Flynet

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  1. Randal

    What?!? Jessica, you’re beautiful just the way you are. You’re one of the few big hollywood stars that has a very healthy curvy look about her and you’re 100% natural. With a stunning smile and gorgeous bedroom eyes, what do you need Weight Watchers for?

    Randal

    • Goddammit, Randal. Take it easy, will ya? I’m diabetic!

    • Talk about motivation.

      Jessica Simpson is rightfully gaining weight while she’s pregnant with her first child, but as Page Six reports, the pregnant celebrity is ready to drop those pounds to the tune of $3 million, as soon as she gives birth.

      Sources tell the newspaper, the blonde singer inked the deal with Weight Watchers, which should help her speed up the process for her wedding to Eric Johnson.

      Simpson’s weight fluctuations have proved to be of great interest to the public, so it’s somewhat surprising the 31-year-old isn’t relishing one of the only times she can gain weight (relatively) free of public criticism.

      Still, this isn’t the first time the star has promised to slim down for cash — and is currently in litigation over it.

      In 2005, Simpson was reportedly paid $500,000 to take part in an (unreleased) exercise video about losing weight, and instead, chose to gain weight and reap those benefits, alleges the CEO of the company that produced the video.

      Following comments Simpson made to Lucky magazine about how gaining weight made her more relatable to the average woman, and helped in creating a billion dollar fashion empire, Speedfit’s CEO, Alex Astilean told the Huffington Post, he believes it was never Simpson’s intention to be the spokesperson for the video.

      One thing is for sure, Simpson seems determined to make as much money off this pregnancy as possible. From unsuccessfully trying to wrangle $500,000 out of the tabloids to announce Hollywood’s worst kept secret, to the first photos of the child (which aren’t thought to bring in much money), to dropping the post-baby weight, the singer is making it clear her body and this baby is a business

    • It’s hard to figure out the creepiest thing about you, Randal. I’m a fan.

  2. DJ

    So you tell her she needs to diet for years and then when she decides she’s going to, you laugh at her and tell her she’s stupid. Gotcha.

    • Help

      Seriously. If anything, she held out for the better gig. I can’t turn the TV on without seeing Jennifer Hudson singing about how skinny she is now.

    • D-chi

      Right with you. I actually did WW for a few months when I was younger and lost around 15 lbs. The counting gets annoying, but it does work. I wish JSimps the best.

  3. Any word on how big a penalty she has to pay when she fails?

  4. Lucy928

    Maybe this will be good for her because I can see her totally being one of the moms who lets herself go and never gets back into shape. She is beautiful and seems like a nice person, so this seems like a good thing to me.

  5. cc

    What?!? Jessica, you are offputting just the way you are. You’re one of the few big, and I do mean BIG, hollywood famewhores out there with a bloated look about you and your ice cream is 100% pure butter fat. With a simpering smile and vacant, expressionless eyes, what do you need talent for?

    - NOT Randal

  6. Rico Jones

    She looks better with the weight. When she was younger she was thin but lacked anything to look at. No shape to her. Now her tits and ass have some size. Nothing like a big pair of tits. I will take a bit of a belly on a woman if it means I get a big pair of TITS!

  7. Oogidyboogidy

    Oh America…get fat, get rewarded. This woman has absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever and she’s being handed millions because she’s a fatass.

    “Ah wash muhself with a rag on a stick!” And she gets applause, photographers and more money than any of us will see in a dozen lifetimes.

    All for being a fucking fatass. See those protesters got it wrong. They are really the 95%. The 1% are the rich bankers, and the remaining 4% are Hollywood trash like this who get handed a king’s ransom for no reason whatsoever.

    • Rico Jones

      You’re just jealous.

      • Bianca

        Not gonna lie, I’m jealous. I wish I could get paid $3 mil to eat everything I want, pork up and then lose it and bask in the adulation of my “hard work” and “discipline”. Nice work if you can get it.

    • Seriously?

      NO JOKE. I wish I could get paid $3 million for being an out of shape fat ass – and a young one no less! Hey Jessica – stop shoveling tons of food in your mouth and exercise if you don’t want to be fat. WOW – WHAT A CONCEPT! Self control? What’s that, y’all? Never heard of it!

    • After reading some of the comments I was beginning to think I was on the wrong site. Thank you Oogidy for reminding me where I am. With that said, What the Fuck! Seriously. This fat ass doesn’t deserve shit.

  8. Evil Dick Tater

    Put Jessica on a diet and she will certainly resort to cannibalism within the first 24 hours. That is, assuming she ever gave it up in the first place.

  9. Frank Burns

    Did she put on that leopard print top, or is it just left hanging there after she ate an actual leopard?

  10. You're Racist

    Everyone hates her because she’s white. Welcome to America.

  11. Jessica Simpson Eric Johnson Dylans Candy Bar
    Mel 'Buttons' Anderton
    Commented on this photo:

    They can hose me down with all the gooey blubber from her liposuction. Yum. More please.

  12. SIN

    She looks alot like Ashlee in the 1st picture.

  13. i could survive for 30 days with nothing to eat except her ass…

  14. piggie

    Read a book you bunch of sad loosers!

  15. The Royal Penis

    This is what happens when you eat fat cocks all the time.

  16. Brenda

    She can clearly diet – remember the Daisy Duke era of Jessica Simpson? She was tiny and all muscle. Kind of dumb to insist that she’s a fatty who will never lose weight again.

  17. mrsmass

    well, that’s certainly a waste of 3 million dollars.

  18. Jessica earns more money losing weight than her broke ass washed up quarterback sperm donor. *Da-da-dun Da-da-dun*

  19. oh i know

    Jes is said to be about 16 weeks pregnant and at that time the average fetus is the size of an avocado. Imagine how BIG she’ll be in another 24 weeks–she will definitely have to earn that $3M!!

    • mrsmass

      there is no way in hell she’s only 16 weeks. try 50 weeks.

      • It’s hard to tell where the food baby ends and the real baby begins.

      • Luciana

        You know, I was thinking about that not long ago I reembmer when the line came out, it was sold all over sephora but i think the line didn’t go well and it was discontinued- no one was into her line I was though I liked that chocolate coconut perfume it tasted good and my boyfriend agreed ; )

    • D-chi

      Wish I was famous so someone would’ve paid me when I did the diet.

  20. That will buy a lot of gravy.

  21. Jam

    All i’m saying is she looks the best she’s ever looked. Minus the baby bump. Nicely meaty.

  22. She looks gorgeous! Best pic in a long time.
    and you know what—she has a hell of a business sense.
    Granted, she got started on her “singing” career but she
    has turned that into a mega bucks business. We should all be so dumb. and spare me the daddy comments. She’s sharp.

    • mm

      She has no business sense. She is to the fashion business what Ronald McDonald is to McDonald’s. If that crap she shills at her mall appearances is really selling, it is spite of tubby, not because of her.

  23. kateuptonxxl

    how come Kate Upton couldn’t get that deal?

  24. I don’t care what you guys say, I love this bitch. She’s nice to everyone, she eats a variety of shitty foods, and she has huge knockers! She is, essentially, the anti-Paltrow. And that’s what Hollywood needs.

  25. forrest gump

    the united states won’t need the atomic bomb.
    …….JUST “DROP” JESSICA SIMPSON, folks!!

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