In an interview with Lucky, Jessica Alba revealed that her plans for dropping the baby weight essentially involve starving herself and intense exercise. Well, that kid popped out two days ago, fatty, so let’s drop that Jell-O and give me twenty! Ain’t no jigglin’ in my house! Via Facebook:
Hi Everyone,
Hope you’re enjoying the weekend. Cash and I are so excited to announce the birth of our daughter, Haven Garner Warren. She was born on Saturday, weighed 7lbs, and was 19 inches long. Healthy and happy! Big Sister Honor couldn’t be more excited about the new addition to our family.
Thank you for all of your support during my pregnancy. It means the world to me.
In related news, Tina Fey also gave birth to a baby girl – Penelope Athena Richmond – which I’m only mentioning because I used my starving joke right out of the gate and am literally running out of shit to say about the 800 celebrities who gave birth this summer. Thankfully January Jones still has a bastard on the way because nothing writes its own jokes like a fatherless mystery baby. They’re an affront to God and hilarious. Seriously, more people should have them.
“What an adorable little boy. And where did he get those eyes from?”
“I dunno.”
Zing! POW!
Photo: Pacific Coast News
well congrats.
Uh, why does she have a boner?
【ツ】yawn. This site is getting as disappointing as the president. Only thing its missing is BBQs, tax payer funded golf matches and (c)rappers. Youve got the ♠’s covered with KKs BFs, the ugliness (michelle) covered with most of the women *cough cough* posted about and the retarded kids by the majority of the posters.
You sure youre not blogging from Pennsylvania Ave?
…Cracker
I bet she really wishes she was the invisible woman
The only real story I see here is that her vagina can handle 7lbs and 19 inches.
Aw, it’s so cute that you think her vagina and her uterus are the same thing.
i think this one came out her ass/vagina, suprising considering c-section is the best option to prevent herpes infection during birth.
7lbs/ 19 inches coming out and a whopper like that going in are two different things. Any woman who can take that going in needs to join the circus.
The father’s name is Cash and the kids’ names are…Honor and Haven? What will the next one be called? “Trust”? “Estate”? “Tax Shelter”?
Or maybe “Check” or “Charge”, so when Alba calls them to dinner she can yell out “Cash, check, or charge!”.
Everyone knows the next child should be called Tango. And he will be the favorite.
Breastfeeding burns a LOT of calories (about 500 a day), pair that with regular workouts and the pounds go down incredibly fast. I can tell you it DOES work, I lost my extra weigth that way. So no need to starve if she decides to breastfeed.
I applaud you not using pregnancy to be fat the rest of your life!
Prolly should say:
I applaud you not using pregnancy as an excuse to be fat the rest of your life!
True. My sister has 5 kids, breastfed all of them and is still skinny. She was actually sort of chubby in high school.
Congratulations to her and she looks hot no matter what.
Anyone notice the sweat stain?
is that a penis in her crotch?