Apparently it’s Shit Everyone Saw Coming a Mile Away Week because now Jesse James and Kat Von D have finally realized getting married is a monumentally stupid decision which is impressive for two people who consciously dress like they star in an off-Broadway production of Douchebag Bonnie & Clyde. E! News reports:
Kat broke the news tonight on Twitter, posting, “I am no longer w Jesse, and out of respect for him, his family and myself, thats all the info I’d like to share. Thanks for respecting that.”
The couple began dating in August 2010, shortly after the scandal broke of the 42-year-old James cheating on ex-wife Sandra Bullock.
Jesse James is blaming the split on the commute between Austin, where he lives with his kids, and Los Angeles, where Kat shoots her reality show, but I think we all know the real reason: He found a slutty Nazi witch coven that also makes bowler hats. “Why go out for milk when you’ve got the horny, Jew-hating Wiccan cows at home?” is how my grandfather put it. We cancelled his medical marijuana that day.
Photo: Flynet
awe fuck i thought for sure they were meant to be. well for some disgusting reason i think id like to do her – hard, doggy style, slappin it good n hard- so.. just as well
oops p.s. zeig heil
Sieg not zeig… but it shows once more that only (place your name for it) are shouting or writing it
That’s a shame. I thought they were going to make it. TLC does such a good job of making human garbage seem like people worthy of any good in their lives.
*cough*Gosselin*cough*
Please tell me they were both dumb enough to get ginormous tattoos of each other’s names on that one remaining clear patch of skin.
Hahahahaha!! Nice!
+1
I also hope Sandra Bullock got a nice laugh once she heard the news.
These two are nothing more than a couple of assholes.
She’s got enough real estate on her chin for the entire Mein Kampf to be tattooed.
Nah, I’d go for a tasteful mural depicting the last hours in the Fuhrerbunker.
She got a huge one of him–his fifth grade portrait no less, complete with denim shirt with rainbow detailing–under her arm and running down her side. Its a crappy portrait that makes him look like a girl. And it is the gift that keeps on giving. Priceless.
Thank God. I live in Austin and the prospect of her possibly living her or (God forbid) moving her asinine show her had us contemplating firebombing this hippie wonderland. Dodged that bullet. Now, if we can only get rid of Blue October. . . .
Meanwhile, poor Sandra remains like a naughty girl on Christmas morning – stuck with a lump of coal.
if you mean her “less than white” adopted baby…well, you suck.
Are you kidding me? Bullock is probably thanking whatever gods exist that they never procreated. Your parents probably wish they could say the same.
That’s not all she’s stuck with. Herpes, Hep C, Genital Warts,etc…….I bet she got a lot of gifts that she wished she never received. On the other hand, she’s not without fault here. It shouldn’t have taken a genius to figure out that a relationship with this dumbass was an epic mistake. Same goes for Kat and the next freak show that gets involved with Jesse on down the line.
You are a worthless racist raisin testicle.
That was pointed at Mr. Sensitive:)
Just face it she is too much women for him….
so they’re not sleeping together any longer?
(I’m talking like an naive american)
How?
It was only a couple of weeks ago that he admitted that he has forgiven himself for cheating on Ms. Bullock, and has realised that the divorce was entirely her fault, so all the guilt for being a scumbag is gone.
He can now start sticking his dick in anything that has a hole in it again, and doesn’t need Kat to bring him younger girls and keep it on the low down.
“Please respect my privacy, but here’s a Tweet about my private business.” What a twatwaffle.
gotta love these “celebrities” who are famous ONLY for pouring their private lives over the public like so much clotted maple syrup at a rat infested diner…then when shit gets interesting, they’re begging for privacy.
Fuck you “Kat”, this is the life you chose…now I wanna see the blood.
No shit! You want privacy now, but when we didn’t want to hear a fucking thing about you ever again you wouldn’t shut up…..
Fuck these two idiots, Taylor Momsen is 18 today, that is way more important.
awesome scoop if you can dig up the first nudes of her from today(!) :DD
uhhhhhhhhh…. feeeeesh…. lazygirls has a pic of her this morning with a meat flap hangin out her shorts!!! surely that calls for a birthday post ~
Well, at least we know what you did with those four minutes between comments.
Dear dudeatdude-
About the Lazy Girl pic-
http://www.lazygirls.info/Taylor_Momsen/Tmomsen_Warped_Tour_Jun_27_Upskirt_002_XPxqLok
This is the only one with a semblance of your description and if this in fact it, my objections read as follows:
A.) Can’t even tell is it’s her
B.) By “meat flaps” do you mean a partially hanging out tampon, string included?
C.) REALLY?? If so, fap away you sick, sick SOB.
Ok, Fish will not let you post a link to this pic (because it’s appalling )but if you go to Lazy Girls and search Taylor Momsen it’s the fourth one over.
Dear dudeatdude-
This is the only one with a semblance of your description and if this in fact is it, my objections read as follows:
A.) Can’t even tell is it’s her
B.) By “meat flaps” do you mean a partially hanging out tampon, string included?
C.) REALLY?? If so, fap away you sick, sick SOB.
Jesse dodging responsibility for a breakup? Say it ain’t so! Hiding behind his kids as a reason provides a subtle slap at Sandra Bullock too – right up to his usual standards. Hope Kat is ready for him to say she’s lousy in bed. Stay next to your phone Bombshell McGee, your up next!
To dudeatdude Taylor Momsen post-
Fish will not let you post a link to the pic but it’s there, go to Lazy Girls and search Taylor Momsen and it’s the fourth one over.
This is the only one with a semblance of your description and if this in fact it, my objections read as follows:
A.) Can’t even tell is it’s her
B.) By “meat flaps” do you mean a partially hanging out tampon, string included? Be honest with yourself; do you know what one looks like?
C.) REALLY?? If so, fap away you sick, sick SOB.
Oh how embarrassing!!
I was SO looking forward to the People magazine wedding cover.
There goes the Hitler youth movement,
Did she get an ass implant? Her ass used to, literally, indent.
I think it’s just a funny camera angle. She has horrible proportions otherwise.
How can you go from sandra bullock to marilyn manson?
This chick is so brain dead.
awww shit. just too funny.
Was it the Mr. Men shoes?
Jesse James nailed thi . . . oh, right.
I can’t wait for the guys to say she was dumped because she wouldn’t blow him, or swallow, or give anal, or have a threesome. or let him pee on her, or let him watch while she has intercourse with a donkey please somebody, I dare you.
“Like” !!
How about “she was dumped because she has a chin like Jay Leno and makes my penis crawl up into my guts”.
Why are we assuming he dumped her?
because she looks like something the cat barfed up, and he’s rich?
I’m not a guy but I was totally going to say its cuz she wouldn’t give him no butt love. But in my opinion, unless she’s constipated or has gas or hemorroids (can’t spell it, not gonna look it up) then she really should be giving up that ass. Or should have.
Shocker !! *gasp* I’d love to see a post where perhaps Sandra gets a chance to spit in his face … a great big looey !! but there’s far too much class there for that to happen. So now that these two dirtbags have parted ways, there should be no more press, right ? Unless … oh, never mind *barfs* …
JJWDT
She never looks too clean to begin with…imagine the smell that’s going to permeate the room when she breaks the seal on those rubber pants after a day in the California sun.
Her man-voice turns me off — it would be like making love to Joseph Goebbels. Ech.
Today is Sandra Bullock’s Birthday!!! KARMA!! The best gift ever!!!
wow, excellent catch!
were they engaged?
I hope that piece of Nazi shit ends up alone for the rest of his life. Fucker.
Why did she change pants? Did the rubber pants chafe her penis…I mean vagina……no I mean penis.
Jesse is a no good, low life, scum bag. He’s a piece of trash just like his father before him.
The apple don’t fall far Jesse.
Don’t worry though – apparently God does make trash and you’ll find another Kat very soon.
Jesus H – I’m not even certain Kat was born a woman! I would bet a cool Mill that there used to be a penis attached!
Mmmm, formfitting black leather pants in that heat…I guess Kat isn’t anticipating receiving any oral gratification.
Pheweee, I think they may even be made of rubber. No air can get down there1
Yep, Kat’s cat is scat.
But wait, how do their two dicks go into each other? Gay love is confusing to me. Does one open up like a Predator !?
(to the tune of here comes the bride)
Here comes the Bride
all adorned in Nazi pride…
On my god! This is worse than the time Nick and Jessica broke up.
NOT.
Jesse James brought Michael Jackson back to life?!
LOL! MJ indeed!
relationships borne out of infidelity always end quickly.. The excitement just isnt there when they’re suddenly free to be together.. jesse james is a douchbag and Kat’s outfit is hideous minus her bag
What was Sandra thinking?
These two sure know how to class it up!
Meh…this stupid bitch gets engaged to a different guy during her tv show. She’s just gearing up for the next season.
The truly interesting part of this narrative is trying to figure out how Sandra Bullock got into a lineup of Janine Lindemulder, Kat Von D and that Michelle Bombsell whatever her name was. It’s like that Sesame Street thing: “One of These Things is Not Like the Other.” Or is she?
Michael Jackson LIVES!
Yes Michael Jackson is alive, KILL IT KILL IT
That is SERIOUSLY what I thought at first!
For some reason I get the feeling he woke up one day next to her and thought “SWEET BABY HITLER! I’M BANGIN’ MICHEAL JACKSON!” and thats why they broke up.
michael jackson??
she looks a lot like michael jackson in this picture
What is this news?! O_O I’m completely shocked…. no wait, nevermind…. completely not shocked.
Also, I love Sandra so this is pretty sweet. I have a feeling Sandra will always get the last laugh. He’s a real douchebag.
And what’s so wrong with sexy Nazi witch covens anyway? (That shit had me rolling, you’re good Fish..damn good).
I think this break up was totally for publicity because I completely forgot they were together in the first place. Now that they’ve reminded us that they exist, they’ll probably get right back together. It’s what fuck-ups do. They live for that shit.
I think it’s a ruse so that they can get married without the paparazzi catching wind…
I knew this would happen! I predicted this breakup back in May on predictions portal PREDiXi (http://predixi.com/predictions.asp?id=51220112812)
Boo whoooo….
Sandra bullock……Rocks!