Jesse James & Kat Von D Broke Up

Apparently it’s Shit Everyone Saw Coming a Mile Away Week because now Jesse James and Kat Von D have finally realized getting married is a monumentally stupid decision which is impressive for two people who consciously dress like they star in an off-Broadway production of Douchebag Bonnie & Clyde. E! News reports:

Kat broke the news tonight on Twitter, posting, “I am no longer w Jesse, and out of respect for him, his family and myself, thats all the info I’d like to share. Thanks for respecting that.”
The couple began dating in August 2010, shortly after the scandal broke of the 42-year-old James cheating on ex-wife Sandra Bullock.

Jesse James is blaming the split on the commute between Austin, where he lives with his kids, and Los Angeles, where Kat shoots her reality show, but I think we all know the real reason: He found a slutty Nazi witch coven that also makes bowler hats. “Why go out for milk when you’ve got the horny, Jew-hating Wiccan cows at home?” is how my grandfather put it. We cancelled his medical marijuana that day.

Photo: Flynet