Jenny Slate Got Divorced And Hopped Right On Captain America
“So, Bucky and I CrossFit every morning, and we just love it. You should try it. I mean, look at these abs, but it helps to have a spotter like Bucky. Bucky’s so rad.”
If you’re seeing Jenny Slate blow up all over social media this morning, that’s because she’s being internetally recognized for rebounding from her divorce with Captain Fucking America. Which is impressive considering Chris Evans usually only dates women who’ve banged Derek Jeter for a bobblehead or have a pagan incantation tattooed between her awesome breasts so her twin sisters can’t murder her in her sleep. Us Weekly reports:
Last month, the twosome also appeared on Anna Faris’ “Unqualified” podcast in a joint interview. “I didn’t know what to expect when I met Chris. I was a little scared because I kind of felt like, Well, I don’t know him. He’s a giant man with huge muscles and he’s Captain America. How could we ever connect?” Slate said at the time. “[But the] first night that we hung out, I was like, Wow, I could hang out with Chris for, like, 90 hours.”
Evans appeared to share the same sentiment. “Oddly enough, I’ve only known Jenny for a few months, which is insane to say because we’re like the same animal.”
As for why this is news, if I write about it that little blue Trending thingy will appear on my Facebook post, and there are unspeakable acts that I’m willing to perform to make that happen. Unspeakable acts.