Jenny McCarthy’s Son Calls The Cops On Her, Is My New Favorite Person

July 28th, 2014 // 35 Comments
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Because her name’s Jenny McCarthy, Jenny McCarthy thought it’d be a great idea to talk about how shitty of a parent Jenny McCarthy is because – haha, you’ll never believe this – her son – hahaha – her 12-year-old son – BAHAHA – calls the cops on her all the time! AHAHAHA! For doing really stupid shit! The actual police! *wipes tear* Aw, man, that’s good stuff. ABC News reports:

“We’re driving in the car and of course I text and drive,” she said on her new Sirius radio show, “Dirty Sexy Funny.” “He called the police on me and said, ‘My mom is texting and driving right now.’ True story.”
To avoid a possible run-in with the police, McCarthy, 41, said she grabbed his phone and threw it out of the car window.

I fucking love this kid already. Please tell me there’s more:

However, it wasn’t the only time Evan tried to get his mom in trouble. [Ed. Note: Yessssssss... - SW] Once, when she sneaked outside to smoke a cigarette, he couldn’t find her and became anxious.
“He called 911 and said, ‘I am alone in the house. My mom abandoned me,’” she recalled. “I go back in the house and it’s 911 and they’re like, ‘Your child just called. Is there an emergency?’ I’m like, ‘What?! No! Everything is fine.’”

I love in how every one of these situations, the 12-year-old (maybe) autistic kid is the smartest person in the room. Not to mention it’s a fucking miracle he’s even alive because apparently safety and Jenny McCarthy go together like medical science and Jenny McCarthy. They probably know him by name at the police station.

“What she do this time, kid?”
“Remember that guy who knocked on our door because he’s supposed to tell people if he lives in their neighborhood?”
“Oh God…”
“He’s watching me now so can she put Uncle Donnie’s pee-pee in her mouth down in the basement.”
“We’ll send a car over.”

Photos: Getty


  1. My dream girl

    She needs to be violated in all 3 of her holes

  2. Even her autistic kid knows she’s a fucking moron. Good going, kid. Somebody tell him about vaccinations now.

  3. Jimmy

    Worse, she swerved and ran over some unvaccinated kid in a polio wheelchair.


    Oh yeah, ream out her crap trap OOooo baby

  5. o'chunt

    That dialogue bit at the end? Yeah, that one. It was worth two exclamations of “holy shit”, followed by half a dozen hearty guffaws. Well done.

  6. satansrighthand

    So vaccines are unhealthy and cause Autism but smoking cigarettes is totally acceptable. Jenny McCarthy PhD ladies and gentelman

  7. Satan'sRightHand

    So vaccines are unhealthy and cause Autism but smoking cigarettes is totally acceptable. Jenny McCarthy PhD ladies and gentelman

  8. hjello

    Of course the trashy skank smokes cigarettes.

  9. Short Round

    The kid has a hyperactive moron for a mother. It’s a miracle he doesn’t have more serious issues and a testament to his strenght.

  10. “And of course I text and drive”

    She has to be Paula Deen’s long-lost daughter. That sort of “hyuck huck, doesn’t everyone?” phenomenal cluelessness has to be due to shared DNA.

  11. Jenny McCarthy
    Commented on this photo:

    The stay-at-home Untermenschen who watch “The View” found this gasbag so uninterested that they had her ousted from that abomination of a show. Yet they are collectively smarter than the morons who run Sirius XM (the same guys that fired Anthony Cumia but retain the services of Hoo-Hoo Stern) as they’ve given this mindless dolt a platform to be “edgy.” Ant’s firing was bad enough. Her hire seals the deal. Goodbye Satellite Radio…

    • butthurt O&A fans are priceless. why didn’t the ‘O&A Army’ go and protest? all two of them were busy I guess. don’t get me wrong, Howard has sucked for a long while now, but on his worst day he’s still funnier than those two (one) assclowns.

  12. Short Round

    Motorboating Jenny McCarthy’s tits: $1000
    Findind the cure for Autism: $1 Billion
    Life making fun of Jenny McCarthy through her own son: Priceless!

  13. Just to be sure everyone is fully aware of Jenny’s particular brand of cuntbaggery:

    When her son Evan was very young, Jenny openly declared he was an “indigo child”, basically a next level of human evolution with super intelligence and psychic powers. Later when he developed symptoms of Landau–Kleffner syndrome, Jenny rejected the clinical diagnosis and declared her son had caught the autism from unclean woman…wait, no that’s how I got gonorrhea, it was vaccinations that stole her kids super mind powers. After many years of constantly changing her carefully researched clinical opinion (i.e. pulled out of her ass) as to the mechanism between vaccination and autism, it eventually became clear that her son was developing normally.

    This won’t stand though, because he was an ingido child, and now is simply “normal” like some kind of common Mexican, so Jenny didn’t let up her anti-vax fight…although she did close down her Autism charity, because fuck those retards…AmIright??

    Even in the face of Andrew Wakefield, the original autism-vaccination link creator losing his medical license for fabricating his research for financial gain, Jenny continued to encourage parents to not vaccinate their children because it’s “not safe”. She does however advocate having neurotoxins injected directly into your cranium so that your fuckholes remain marketable for a few more years.

    Jenny, thanks to your hard work Whooping Cough and Polio are back. Fucking POLIO. Sean Penn spends his free time helping poor people in Haiti, Angelina Jolie seems more interested in African children than acting…Jenny McCarthy, she thinks we fucking need more polio.

  14. sc4play

    Texting and driving?? Can’t Darwin work a little faster on this one?

  15. Mike

    Too bad she didn’t teach her kid that calling 911 for useless bullshit is literally endangering the lives of others. She may want to pass that little bit of info on to her child at some point.

  16. dmb

    JM: Gee, if only there was an injection of some sort that would make him less social and aware of my poor parenting skills…

  17. Colin

    That idiot autistic kid is gonna get in trouble one of these days. And her son’s gonna suffer the consequences.

    • Is this like the fortune cookie game, where each sentence ends with “because Jenny McCarthy is his mom.” instead of “in bed (with Jenny McCarthy).”

  18. Slash

    It’s almost like her aggressively anti-science and anti-common sense outlook informs all of her choices. Kinda surprised she hasn’t driven straight into a wall or off a bridge by now.

    I’m actually surprised more people don’t do those things.

  19. Jenny McCarthy
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who the brunette is, so I can only assume she’s nobody, and Jenny’s giving her career advice.

  20. Jenny McCarthy
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Jenny-off-her-block had a radio show. Now I just don’t care.

  21. Jenny McCarthy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I didn’t immunize my child and they died from a treatable disease.”
    “Was he autistic?”
    “See, my advice work!…Next caller.”

  22. Jenny McCarthy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I know, right? All of these Ebola conspiracy stories going around… Like, use your imagination or something.”

  23. What a cunning stunt.

  24. MZ MIZRY

    lmao @ any idiot paying $$$ to listen to jenny mccarthy talk on the radio.

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