Jennifer Lopez gives J-Birth

Jennifer Lopez gave birth to a J-Boy and J-Girl early this J-Morning. Okay, this is getting J-tarded. Anyway, mom and kids are healthy and People has the exclusive details instead of me – again. Jerks:

The babies were born early Friday in Long Island, N.Y. The girl was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and the boy followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs.
“Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon,” Lopez’s manager Simon Fields tells PEOPLE exclusively.

While I didn’t have the exclusive birth details, I do have this statement issued by Marc Anthony’s sworn enemy He-Man:

“I’d like to extend a heartfelt congratulations to Skeletor from all of us here at Castle Greyskull. Enjoy this magical time with your precious miracles. I look forward to battling over the fate of Eternia in the near future. I also anxiously await a newly-inspired J-Lo’s return to the studio. I’m a huge fan. If that surprises you, c’mon, I wear nothing but fur underwear and boots. You do the math. He he! Tootles!”

He-Man then issued an additional statement:

“Just to be clear I like to party with dudes. Call me, sillies! Ciao!”

He was last seen riding off with Battle-Cat to get Mango Smoothies. No whipped cream because “that’s for fatties.”