Currently promoting Marley & Me in Europe, Jennifer Aniston is finally setting the record straight, for real this time no foolin’, on the whole Brad and Angelina debacle. ELLE UK reports:
‘No matter what I say, things will always be taken out of context and misinterpreted, will always be turned around to make it seem as though I won’t let something go, or that I just keep talking about it over and over. I don’t owe anybody anything. I don’t owe anybody my side of the story. There are no sides! There is no bad guy and there is no good guy. There are no villains and there is no heroine in this story. It’s just not the case.’
That being said, Jennifer Aniston wants to be an action star now. Who else do I know stars in action movies? Hmm….:
Though romantic comedies are her bread and butter Jennifer tells ELLE she’d love to get more physical in a film, ‘I get offered funny, quirky, pretty roles,’ she says, with a slight roll of the eyes. ‘I’d love to do an action movie. James Bond! Glamour! Daniel Craig! Shit-loads of fun!’
JEN: Okay, here’s the pitch: Husband and wive. Both are trained assassins, but they keep it a secret from each other – until they’re both hired to kill the other. Whoa.
PRODUCER: We did that one already. It was called Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
JEN: Right. But this time I’ll play the Angelina Jolie role. Everything else must stay exactly the same. Exactly the same!
PRODUCER: Why would we do that?
JEN: I’ll go full frontal.
PRODUCER: Sold!
JOHN MAYER: Wait. You told me I could play Brad Pitt’s part.
JEN: Hey, there’s that sound I hear when I’m not being satisfied sexually.
JOHN: Awww….
First Time | March 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I would still do her
secretary | March 2, 2009 at 5:37 pm
her chin could fight crime in an action movie.
Sportsdvl | March 2, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Jen is smokin’ hot! Absolutely no comparison between her and the skank Angelina.
D\ | March 2, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@3 all gay people agree with you man
bobo | March 2, 2009 at 5:40 pm
A friend of mine recommended me a HOT place *** Affluentmeet Com *** It’s where you have chance to meet rich single men and rich single woman!
washington | March 2, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Love the 3rd “squeeze my boobs together” shot….
.
g_girl | March 2, 2009 at 5:50 pm
That chick is a loser. I have spoken.
english girl | March 2, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Funny :)
I think she has a grating voice, that’s not ‘sexy’ and she’s so girl next door. plus friends was so cringeworthy nd the way they dronnnnnnnnnne out their words and yap things like ‘YAH!!’ LIKE, YAH!!
Also you wouldnt get angeline jolie acting along to canned laughter
To be nice, she kindof looks like a kitten and always wears nice fabric
Sauron | March 2, 2009 at 5:52 pm
The third photo is,according to my judgement,a serious attempt to get Brad Pitt back.I’ll bet he has a boner now!
Darth | March 2, 2009 at 6:01 pm
#9 Jennifer Aniston knows Brad Pitt like the inside of her pocket.She’s wicked enough what to do to get him a boner.Did she do this every time when he got his final payment?
KckBxMM | March 2, 2009 at 6:03 pm
For someone who is ‘so over’ the divorce, Jen never misses an opportunity to talk about it. If it wasn’t for Brad and Angie, Jen would never have this much publicity. As for a bond girl, the best she could do is ‘dead girl in pool’ a.k.a Plenty O’Toole in Diamonds are Forever!
KckBxMM | March 2, 2009 at 6:06 pm
For someone who is ‘so over’ the divorce, Jen never misses an opportunity to talk about it. If it wasn’t for Brad and Angie, Jen would never have this much publicity. As for a bond girl, the best she could do is ‘dead girl in pool’ a.k.a Plenty O’Toole in Diamonds are Forever!
Nero | March 2, 2009 at 6:07 pm
She’s not bald enough for me.But i’d love to stretch tongues with pliers.
todders | March 2, 2009 at 6:11 pm
You guys haven’t lived until you’ve seen “A FISTFUL OF BILLY RAY CYRUS” (SOME HILARIOUS SOUTHERN JUSTICE!)
http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/2/28/dont-f-with-billy-ray-cyruss-daughter.html
vanessa | March 2, 2009 at 6:13 pm
she is so boring.
cavy | March 2, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Since when does Angelina corner the market in Action Films? Last time I checked, she didn’t own Hollywood. I hope Jen makes the transition and does well, as she has in the other genres.
todders | March 2, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Yo, you guys haven’t lived until you’ve seen “A FISTFUL OF BILLY RAY CYRUS” (some true Southern Justice!)
http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/2/28/dont-f-with-billy-ray-cyruss-daughter.html
Tom K | March 2, 2009 at 6:18 pm
#3. Are you blind?!?!?
Brad Pitt upgraded in my opinion!!!! Jennifer is plain, boring and dull!! She is probably like a dead fish in bed! She better keep doing those shitty movies, she will never be anything other than a second rate actress who looks like a tranny!
Valerie | March 2, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Entering Action at 40? Does that seem right?…………
owen | March 2, 2009 at 6:34 pm
She’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive to many people! you don’t know how h ot models and sex y folks on ___Tallmingle Co m___ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!! :-)
PunkA | March 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm
I love her. At 40, she rocks the house. Seriously, how many 40 years olds have a better body, better skin and look at hawt as her?? Anyone?? OK, so she is not skanky hawt like Angie, but she is not skany trashy like Angie either. jolie is a good time girl, Aniston a keeper. Just you watch, she and Pitt are done in 3 years or less.
Fati | March 2, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Aniston may not be as classically beautiful as Jolie, but she is sweet, funny and waaaay more normal than that nutjob. Angelina is such a mental case, I can’t imagine what man would take her any further than a one-night stand. There is a reason that she always plays neurotic, psychotic mental patients.
effyeray | March 2, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Do they still make snuff films? If so, it’s about as much “action” as this fug hag’s acting chops can handle.
Blah Girls! | March 2, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Wow, Jen, I don’t know if you could cut it in Mrs. Smith’s part!
Blah Girls! | March 2, 2009 at 7:28 pm
i love her dress and her jewelry!
Tom K | March 2, 2009 at 7:45 pm
#21. and #22.
Aniston is a keeper huh?!?! LMAO! I guess that’s why Brad dropped the bitch so fast her tranny head was spinning! lol
Brad will never leave Angelina Jolie! That pussy is probably amazing! I’m sure she knows how to please him like no other!!!!!! Nobody every breaks up with Angelina, she dumbs them.
That women is a sex crazed lunatic…..she is every man’s dream girl!!
Sex in the morning, sex in the evening, sex at supper time, when your dating Angelina you can have wild sex anytime!!!!!!
minty | March 2, 2009 at 8:46 pm
i love jennifer aniston. i think she is really pretty, smart, and REAL. more than i can say for miss jolie.
Jay | March 2, 2009 at 8:48 pm
I don’t know. ‘Derailed’ wasn’t all that funny and pretty. I think she could do action, as long as she played so far against her clean-cut type (like Jim Carrey in The Number 23) that there’d be no semblence of her normal screen persona. I think she could do action better than some other female leads could do comedy. Comedy is harder than action.
lawrence | March 2, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Why did he post his personal ad on a celebrities and wealthy website named “Richromances.com”.. Is he still a single?
Truth Doctor | March 2, 2009 at 9:43 pm
100% has-been. Bury her now, alongside her leech of a career.
Get Yourself to a Jewelry or a Nunnery ASAP | March 2, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Ugly Jewelry. She needs to buy some real gems, with all the money she has made, what was she thinking.
She should go buy herself some nice stuff, not the ugly trash beads that she is wearing . I wonder if she is trying to make some type of ugly fashion statement, like I’m wearing a designer dress, but I’m really down to earth because I wear ugly Earth Mama beads. Jen, go to Beverly Hills, Now!, and buy yourself some nice gold and gem necklaces. The ugly Earth Mama look was over in the ’70s.
White Men Everywhere | March 2, 2009 at 10:24 pm
http://whitewomensuck.blogspot.com/
sin | March 2, 2009 at 10:53 pm
An action porn star. Thats all I want to watch her in. An all lezzie one. Show those bodasious tata’s and let those eye popping nipples mesmerize everyone.
Fati | March 2, 2009 at 11:04 pm
@26 – hun, how old are you? how many serious relationships have you had? when you have a family with a woman, it becomes about more than sex. Brad Pitt is not 25 any more. he needs more than a sex craze. and trust me, when you are his age, you will, too. and if you don’t, well, that will just be very-very sad.
gerard Vandenberg | March 3, 2009 at 12:23 am
TRY PORN-STAR INSTEAD and I will guarantee you it will succeed!!
OhMyJeezy | March 3, 2009 at 1:38 am
#21 and 22, i totally agreeeee.
jennifer aniston looks way younger than angelina, whos actually younger. angelina actually looks older than her real age.
they have two toally different careers. does anyone think angelina can pull off comedy? is it just me or does angelina always play ANGELINA in every role?
i think angelina is all used up. shes gross.
Fati | March 3, 2009 at 2:56 am
@36 no, it’s not you. Angelina always plays Angelina – a psychopathic, unbalanced, inadequate sociopathic weirdo with “emotional problems” (c).
owenlei | March 3, 2009 at 3:36 am
She’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive to many people! you don’t know how h ot models and sex y folks on ___Tallconnect Co m___ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!! :-)
sin | March 3, 2009 at 4:45 am
Put her and Lindsay Lohan in a porn movie together. Add Lindsay mother and little sister and its a hit. Have you seen the “little” sister?
Teeeh | March 3, 2009 at 5:09 am
thats so friggin funny
1moreidiotintheworld | March 3, 2009 at 7:20 am
she has the facial features of a Bat…… pointy chin, big ears. She could be BatGirl in the next BatMan movie…flying around, making ear-splitting screeching sounds, sucking up bugs and moths in those teeth…….go hang upside down in a dark cave somewhere……bitch and complain about Brangelina to the other bats until they all gang up on her and tear her to shreds and shit out her bones all over the guano splattered floors of the cave… I’d pay to see that movie…….
MustangSally | March 3, 2009 at 7:58 am
I won´t even mention how Jen is a plain jane with absolutelly no talent to play any character that doesn´t remind us all of Rachel Green and Angie is the hottest thing alive and an oscar nominee.
those are facts
what I just don´t get is how the hell jen comes off as the NICE as SWEET when she only spends her milions on herself and her time talkin about Brad dumping her wile Angie comes out as the selfish skank, doing all that humanitary work all over the world
you people are just so dumb
smell envy?
Redbud9 | March 3, 2009 at 7:59 am
If she was as self-confident and together as she thinks she is, she wouldn’t be doing naked poses in men’s magazines. Way to prove you’re nothing more than what you look like! She plays make believe for a living, and takes her clothes off to sell a movie. Wow, isn’t that deep. She’s disgusting.
Mayer, a talented guy no doubt, has gone to the dark side. Just another douche bag who has forgotten it’s all about the music. Just another joke.
sin | March 3, 2009 at 8:09 am
Tell her that getting naked and doing yoga with other women is an action movie.
as | March 3, 2009 at 8:30 am
She was great in “the good girl” with Jake Gyllenhal, sometimes she does show some talent, her performance in “Friends with money” wasn’t bad either, though the movie was crap.
linda | March 3, 2009 at 9:25 am
She is so sexy, and I saw her profile on
____T a l l h u b . c o m_____,she is welcomed by a lot of sexy tall singles and models there. I also met many sexy tall singles and models on it.
Jerry | March 3, 2009 at 9:57 am
@21 and the rest of Jen’s sick ass fans. To bad you assholes have nothing better to do with your sick pathetic lives but wait for someones relationship to end. Thanks for showing us how Jen’s pathetic mind operates.
Jen is a big joke in Hollywood. I wish this chick could do one interview without her triangle cruch. If she did a Bond movie Hell No I would NOT watch that shit. I wish she would get lost. Sick of her phony despert shit. She should take that phony douch bag with her.
Deacon Jones | March 3, 2009 at 10:10 am
@43
But that’s how women over 30 stay relevant in Hollywood..
John | March 3, 2009 at 10:27 am
26 Tom oh hell yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Angelina is hot no questions about it. Brad up graded big time.
Looking up at Angelina’s face over your d-ck there’s nothing else to
want for. I wish I was Brad.
ROUGH DADDY | March 3, 2009 at 11:12 am
That SUPERskit put everything in perspective,,,shes looking bangable though!