Jennifer Aniston wants to be an action star. Sound familiar?

March 2nd, 2009 // 69 Comments

Currently promoting Marley & Me in Europe, Jennifer Aniston is finally setting the record straight, for real this time no foolin’, on the whole Brad and Angelina debacle. ELLE UK reports:

‘No matter what I say, things will always be taken out of context and misinterpreted, will always be turned around to make it seem as though I won’t let something go, or that I just keep talking about it over and over. I don’t owe anybody anything. I don’t owe anybody my side of the story. There are no sides! There is no bad guy and there is no good guy. There are no villains and there is no heroine in this story. It’s just not the case.’

That being said, Jennifer Aniston wants to be an action star now. Who else do I know stars in action movies? Hmm….:

Though romantic comedies are her bread and butter Jennifer tells ELLE she’d love to get more physical in a film, ‘I get offered funny, quirky, pretty roles,’ she says, with a slight roll of the eyes. ‘I’d love to do an action movie. James Bond! Glamour! Daniel Craig! Shit-loads of fun!’

JEN: Okay, here’s the pitch: Husband and wive. Both are trained assassins, but they keep it a secret from each other – until they’re both hired to kill the other. Whoa.
PRODUCER: We did that one already. It was called Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
JEN: Right. But this time I’ll play the Angelina Jolie role. Everything else must stay exactly the same. Exactly the same!
PRODUCER: Why would we do that?
JEN: I’ll go full frontal.
PRODUCER: Sold!
JOHN MAYER: Wait. You told me I could play Brad Pitt’s part.
JEN: Hey, there’s that sound I hear when I’m not being satisfied sexually.
JOHN: Awww….

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. First Time

    I would still do her

  2. secretary

    her chin could fight crime in an action movie.

  3. Jen is smokin’ hot! Absolutely no comparison between her and the skank Angelina.

  4. D\

    @3 all gay people agree with you man

  5. bobo

    A friend of mine recommended me a HOT place *** Affluentmeet Com *** It’s where you have chance to meet rich single men and rich single woman!

  6. washington

    Love the 3rd “squeeze my boobs together” shot….

    .

  7. g_girl

    That chick is a loser. I have spoken.

  8. Funny :)
    I think she has a grating voice, that’s not ‘sexy’ and she’s so girl next door. plus friends was so cringeworthy nd the way they dronnnnnnnnnne out their words and yap things like ‘YAH!!’ LIKE, YAH!!
    Also you wouldnt get angeline jolie acting along to canned laughter

    To be nice, she kindof looks like a kitten and always wears nice fabric

  9. Sauron

    The third photo is,according to my judgement,a serious attempt to get Brad Pitt back.I’ll bet he has a boner now!

  10. Darth

    #9 Jennifer Aniston knows Brad Pitt like the inside of her pocket.She’s wicked enough what to do to get him a boner.Did she do this every time when he got his final payment?

  11. KckBxMM

    For someone who is ‘so over’ the divorce, Jen never misses an opportunity to talk about it. If it wasn’t for Brad and Angie, Jen would never have this much publicity. As for a bond girl, the best she could do is ‘dead girl in pool’ a.k.a Plenty O’Toole in Diamonds are Forever!

  12. KckBxMM

    For someone who is ‘so over’ the divorce, Jen never misses an opportunity to talk about it. If it wasn’t for Brad and Angie, Jen would never have this much publicity. As for a bond girl, the best she could do is ‘dead girl in pool’ a.k.a Plenty O’Toole in Diamonds are Forever!

  13. Nero

    She’s not bald enough for me.But i’d love to stretch tongues with pliers.

  14. You guys haven’t lived until you’ve seen “A FISTFUL OF BILLY RAY CYRUS” (SOME HILARIOUS SOUTHERN JUSTICE!)

    http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/2/28/dont-f-with-billy-ray-cyruss-daughter.html

  15. vanessa

    she is so boring.

  16. cavy

    Since when does Angelina corner the market in Action Films? Last time I checked, she didn’t own Hollywood. I hope Jen makes the transition and does well, as she has in the other genres.

  17. Yo, you guys haven’t lived until you’ve seen “A FISTFUL OF BILLY RAY CYRUS” (some true Southern Justice!)

    http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/2/28/dont-f-with-billy-ray-cyruss-daughter.html

  18. Tom K

    #3. Are you blind?!?!?

    Brad Pitt upgraded in my opinion!!!! Jennifer is plain, boring and dull!! She is probably like a dead fish in bed! She better keep doing those shitty movies, she will never be anything other than a second rate actress who looks like a tranny!

  19. Valerie

    Entering Action at 40? Does that seem right?…………

  20. owen

    She’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive to many people! you don’t know how h ot models and sex y folks on ___Tallmingle Co m___ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!! :-)

  21. PunkA

    I love her. At 40, she rocks the house. Seriously, how many 40 years olds have a better body, better skin and look at hawt as her?? Anyone?? OK, so she is not skanky hawt like Angie, but she is not skany trashy like Angie either. jolie is a good time girl, Aniston a keeper. Just you watch, she and Pitt are done in 3 years or less.

  22. Fati

    Aniston may not be as classically beautiful as Jolie, but she is sweet, funny and waaaay more normal than that nutjob. Angelina is such a mental case, I can’t imagine what man would take her any further than a one-night stand. There is a reason that she always plays neurotic, psychotic mental patients.

  23. effyeray

    Do they still make snuff films? If so, it’s about as much “action” as this fug hag’s acting chops can handle.

  24. Wow, Jen, I don’t know if you could cut it in Mrs. Smith’s part!

  25. i love her dress and her jewelry!

  26. Tom K

    #21. and #22.

    Aniston is a keeper huh?!?! LMAO! I guess that’s why Brad dropped the bitch so fast her tranny head was spinning! lol

    Brad will never leave Angelina Jolie! That pussy is probably amazing! I’m sure she knows how to please him like no other!!!!!! Nobody every breaks up with Angelina, she dumbs them.

    That women is a sex crazed lunatic…..she is every man’s dream girl!!

    Sex in the morning, sex in the evening, sex at supper time, when your dating Angelina you can have wild sex anytime!!!!!!

  27. minty

    i love jennifer aniston. i think she is really pretty, smart, and REAL. more than i can say for miss jolie.

  28. Jay

    I don’t know. ‘Derailed’ wasn’t all that funny and pretty. I think she could do action, as long as she played so far against her clean-cut type (like Jim Carrey in The Number 23) that there’d be no semblence of her normal screen persona. I think she could do action better than some other female leads could do comedy. Comedy is harder than action.

  29. lawrence

    Why did he post his personal ad on a celebrities and wealthy website named “Richromances.com”.. Is he still a single?

  30. Truth Doctor

    100% has-been. Bury her now, alongside her leech of a career.

  31. Get Yourself to a Jewelry or a Nunnery ASAP

    Ugly Jewelry. She needs to buy some real gems, with all the money she has made, what was she thinking.

    She should go buy herself some nice stuff, not the ugly trash beads that she is wearing . I wonder if she is trying to make some type of ugly fashion statement, like I’m wearing a designer dress, but I’m really down to earth because I wear ugly Earth Mama beads. Jen, go to Beverly Hills, Now!, and buy yourself some nice gold and gem necklaces. The ugly Earth Mama look was over in the ’70s.

  32. sin

    An action porn star. Thats all I want to watch her in. An all lezzie one. Show those bodasious tata’s and let those eye popping nipples mesmerize everyone.

  33. Fati

    @26 – hun, how old are you? how many serious relationships have you had? when you have a family with a woman, it becomes about more than sex. Brad Pitt is not 25 any more. he needs more than a sex craze. and trust me, when you are his age, you will, too. and if you don’t, well, that will just be very-very sad.

  34. TRY PORN-STAR INSTEAD and I will guarantee you it will succeed!!

  35. OhMyJeezy

    #21 and 22, i totally agreeeee.

    jennifer aniston looks way younger than angelina, whos actually younger. angelina actually looks older than her real age.

    they have two toally different careers. does anyone think angelina can pull off comedy? is it just me or does angelina always play ANGELINA in every role?

    i think angelina is all used up. shes gross.

  36. Fati

    @36 no, it’s not you. Angelina always plays Angelina – a psychopathic, unbalanced, inadequate sociopathic weirdo with “emotional problems” (c).

  37. owenlei

    She’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive to many people! you don’t know how h ot models and sex y folks on ___Tallconnect Co m___ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!! :-)

  38. sin

    Put her and Lindsay Lohan in a porn movie together. Add Lindsay mother and little sister and its a hit. Have you seen the “little” sister?

  39. thats so friggin funny

  40. 1moreidiotintheworld

    she has the facial features of a Bat…… pointy chin, big ears. She could be BatGirl in the next BatMan movie…flying around, making ear-splitting screeching sounds, sucking up bugs and moths in those teeth…….go hang upside down in a dark cave somewhere……bitch and complain about Brangelina to the other bats until they all gang up on her and tear her to shreds and shit out her bones all over the guano splattered floors of the cave… I’d pay to see that movie…….

  41. MustangSally

    I won´t even mention how Jen is a plain jane with absolutelly no talent to play any character that doesn´t remind us all of Rachel Green and Angie is the hottest thing alive and an oscar nominee.
    those are facts

    what I just don´t get is how the hell jen comes off as the NICE as SWEET when she only spends her milions on herself and her time talkin about Brad dumping her wile Angie comes out as the selfish skank, doing all that humanitary work all over the world

    you people are just so dumb

    smell envy?

  42. Redbud9

    If she was as self-confident and together as she thinks she is, she wouldn’t be doing naked poses in men’s magazines. Way to prove you’re nothing more than what you look like! She plays make believe for a living, and takes her clothes off to sell a movie. Wow, isn’t that deep. She’s disgusting.

    Mayer, a talented guy no doubt, has gone to the dark side. Just another douche bag who has forgotten it’s all about the music. Just another joke.

  43. sin

    Tell her that getting naked and doing yoga with other women is an action movie.

  44. as

    She was great in “the good girl” with Jake Gyllenhal, sometimes she does show some talent, her performance in “Friends with money” wasn’t bad either, though the movie was crap.

  45. linda

    She is so sexy, and I saw her profile on
    ____T a l l h u b . c o m_____,she is welcomed by a lot of sexy tall singles and models there. I also met many sexy tall singles and models on it.

  46. Jerry

    @21 and the rest of Jen’s sick ass fans. To bad you assholes have nothing better to do with your sick pathetic lives but wait for someones relationship to end. Thanks for showing us how Jen’s pathetic mind operates.
    Jen is a big joke in Hollywood. I wish this chick could do one interview without her triangle cruch. If she did a Bond movie Hell No I would NOT watch that shit. I wish she would get lost. Sick of her phony despert shit. She should take that phony douch bag with her.

  47. Deacon Jones

    @43

    But that’s how women over 30 stay relevant in Hollywood..

  48. John

    26 Tom oh hell yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Angelina is hot no questions about it. Brad up graded big time.
    Looking up at Angelina’s face over your d-ck there’s nothing else to
    want for. I wish I was Brad.

  49. That SUPERskit put everything in perspective,,,shes looking bangable though!

Leave A Comment