Jennifer Aniston gets ratted out

February 27th, 2006 // 75 Comments

*jennifer_aniston_thumb2.jpgWay back in the late 1980s, Jennifer Aniston shared a West Village apartment with fellow actress Nancy Balbirer. Balbirer ratted her out the other night at Joe’s Pub, at an event to mark the paperback release of The Underminer: Or, the Best Friend Who Casually Destroys Your Life. Balbirer’s “underminer” was “a famous sitcom actress” called “Jane” – a thinly veiled Aniston – who she met when both were auditioning to be extras on Saturday Night Live.

According to reports: “Nancy let Jane live rent-free in her Village apartment for a few months. Nancy said Jane, who was then working at a burger joint, was obsessed with her looks, and would give herself bikini waxes while lying upside-down on the couch. Jane advised Nancy to try and be ‘more fuckable’ on auditions, and to buy chicken cutlets at the Food Emporium to stuff her bra. Jane iced her nipples before auditions, and lamented her big butt and her nose, which she said ‘came from her Greek half.’ Jane moved to Los Angeles, got liposuction, a nose job and a hairline adjustment, and lost a lot of weight after going on Nutri

superficial

  1. PKClover

    I don’t see what a FICTION novel with a character named “Jane” has to do with Jennifer Aniston.

  2. jugsgirl

    jane = jen? confused? where am i?

  3. chronic

    Jennifer Aniston before:
    http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/archives/005194.html

    Interestingly enough from the same site it seems Angelina Jolie has had quite a bit of work done (pretty subtle though):
    http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/angelina_jolie.htm

    Check that site, amazing the number of “natural” beauty’s that have had all sorts of little adjustments.

    (But for the funnier side of plastic surgery, you can’t beat http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com )

    I actually don’t mind JA, but I find that story to be wholly believable.

  4. Sheva

    Didn’t anyone tell lil Jen that the road on the way up in Hollywood is a lot more fun than the people you meet again on the way down?

  5. CheekyChops

    i’m trying to get a visual of her laying upside down on the couch giving herself a bikini wax. WTF?

  6. Binky

    Personally – I hate it when women stuff their bra with chicken cutlets – although it does sometimes help with the late nite munchies.
    Jen’s Camp might have to move their tents to the West Village and join ‘Nancy’s Camp’ ? Who knows ? Can they use trailers as well ?

  7. Cratylus

    Check out the original schnoz on Catherine Zeta-Jones

    http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/001047.html

  8. gossipmonger

    Here is a “Kinda related to Jen” story..
    http://www.tiffany.com/registry/registry_pur.asp?registryID=409227&

    HAHA, ranks up there with the Mandy/Zack one… Highly doubtful its real either..

  9. DiamondStudded

    #7: thanks for posting that link to CZJ..it made me laugh so hard. she looks just like the lady that used to clean my house.

  10. ~S.Starr~

    Seems to me that this Nancy Balbirer (who is she?) chick is trying to cash in on fame at Jens expense. Pathetic…absolutely pathetic. Sweetheart…Try being famous for your TALENT…not off of someone elses personal life. HELL…Be you can even be famous for being a dumb slut…Paris Hilton did it!

    ~S

  11. benjamin01

    *y-a-w-n*
    Not everyone’s disgruntled past acquanitances write books for revenge… just think if they did.

  12. ESQ

    The interesting part of the story is, “Although Aniston’s rep denied some of the story, it seems to fit.” I would like to know what is the truth vs. fiction. It will be interesting to see what Jen’s camp has to say about this if they decide to dignify this with a response.

    As far as what house this Nancy wanted to stay at I guess it all depended: at the apartment with Monica or at her real house. Nancy would be pulling a ballsy manuever if she wanted to move in with her on “Friends.”

  13. Check out “Leprechaun” for an example of pre-nose job Aniston.

  14. HollyJ

    @3 Angelina’s features look identical in both photos. If she were smiling in the first photo the way she was in the second, her cheekbones and lips would look identical.

    The only difference I see in those photos is the shading technique of the make-up. I think those photos prove she HASN’T had surgery, not that she HAS.

    @7 ACK! I think I just shot a Froot Loop through my nose when I saw Bulbousnose Zeta-Jones. And WTF is up with that HAIR?!

    BAD 80s!! BAD! <–said like scolding a dog

  15. TG

    hooray, i am so glad to see that FINALLY the backlash on this horrid no-talent broad can commence. wotta hypocrite. i love her so-called need for privacy when the reality is that she can’t let a day go by without some melodramatic new whine/US Wkly cover story of the week

  16. amma

    …This all would have been so great and believable…except for the ‘stuff your bra with chicken cutlets’ part. Wouldn’t that stink? And why bother when falsies could be had for the same price? Or socks? Or a padded bra from Kmart for that matter???
    Makes the whole thing suspect…especially for someone supposedly so vain…

  17. Quiggie

    That’s too funny. Jen is a skank! Laying upside down on the couch for all to see giving her stank a$$ a bikini wax. NASTY!

  18. TaiTai

    OK I don’t get it. Who is the “best friend who casually destroys your life”? Would that be “Jane” or “Nancy”? Not sure what this one is about. Just wondering…

  19. ferret1

    The icing of the nips would explain why Jennifer’s pokers were always visible on many episodes of “Friends”. The only reason I tuned in was to see if the turkey was done.

  20. monkeyballs

    I’ve never been a fan of hers. First of all, she’s one of those women who are only attractive as a whole package and from a distance of at least five or six feet. Go close up on her face and she’s just really odd looking.

    Secondly, she’s SO not a good actress at ALL. She was such a yawner on Friends.

    I’ve never understood why she hit it big. She’s nothing special at all.

    And to #15, exactly. I’m so sick of her whining and whinging. God. So Brad left you, you got divorced. You aren’t the first person that’s ever happened to, nor do I think you’ll be the last. Hell, it probably won’t even be your ONLY divorce. Shuddup already.

  21. dimestoredetective

    mmmmmmmmmmm chicken cutlets and ice.

  22. crazydelicious

    jennifer aniston is still a million times more beautiful than angelina jolie. i know this is the wrong site to post this type of material, but when someone as ugly as angelina is inside, it is almost impossible to see them as a beautiful person on the outside. she is disgusting to me.

  23. julema

    She’s ugly! IF every women could have hair and make up done by professional it could help them to look great and love themself. Jennifer will always be ugly…ugly smile, ugly nose, and REALLY ugly chin… the only cute thing is her eyes. And she’s not a good actress cause she’s always doing the same kind of character. I don’t understand why people think shes hot…and good.

  24. Average

    I cant believe there are still people out there that believe Aniston didnt have a nose job. Her nose isnt even human looking, hell, they even did a show on friends about how her character had a nose job.

  25. MeganHarris

    If this is true, then Jen Aniston is the most superficial person in the world.

    this is low.

  26. Average

    P.S. I think actresses like Sarah Jessica Parker should be given an award just for staying who they are instead of giving in to the hollywood beauty.
    She did an interview where she said her agent told her to get some work done after she starred in Annie on broadway(yes she was a child) if she wanted to even think about working in movies and she refused.

    You have to be a hellofa good actress or have a shitload of charisma to make it in hollywood looking like the average girl, or a little worse in my opinion.

  27. HollyJ

    I’m all for people refusing to have surgery on things like noses and chins, but I also don’t judge people who have things done. I’m all about the freedom to make choices.

    That said, Sarah Jessica needs to get that giganticonormous moon-mountain witch wart on her chin lasered off. That shit is HUGE.

    The entire run of Sex in the City, all I could do was stare at that huge kickball wart on her chinny-chin-chin.

    I bet NASA has a machine big enough to handle it. Some kind of giant alien-attacking gamma-ray laser that’s strong enough to enter the next solar system MIGHT have enough power to take care of it.

    MIGHT.

  28. jennifer11

    awwwwww…sounds like ol’ Nancy Balbirer is still waiting for the fame bunny to visit her.

    nobody likes a sore loser, nance.

  29. seminole

    None of the “actors” from Friends is attractive or talented. That show was so overrated and the fact that they were all paid so much is, in and of itself, enough to make you hate Hollywood forever.

    The first time I saw the opening credits, dancing in the fountain, I truly understood why Elvis shot his television.

  30. MustangLaura

    GOOD GRIEF … now about 500000 celebs old roomates/losers are going to write books and jump on the bandwagon most will be going to court then paris hilton starved for attention will tell everyone they are so cliche then celine dion and michael jackson and whitney houston will make comebacks mariah carey will go crazy again because there will be NO books about her and lindsay lohan will sleep with everyone some more just to get a book about her past out there….. JUST KILL ME NOW

  31. seminole

    Sarah Jessica Parker could actually use a nose job too–but at this point, who cares?

    a couple more “romantic comedies”, she will be thankfully irrelevant again, and we won’t have to look at that horse face wondering why we’re supposed to think she’s attractive.

  32. youdontknow

    This book was actually written by Mike Albo and Virginia Hefferman. A reading/performance was given at Joe’s and guests (like Nancy Balbirer) were invited to share their experiences with an “undermining” friend. The books is about:

    “The ‘friend’ who somehow manages to turn every compliment into an incredibly subtle insult, thus making you wonder whether you are truly the most neurotic person in all of Manhattan

  33. not-one-of-you

    #27 – absolutely agree. iglesias had his nose mole removed, right? that SJP chin wart is horrible, but maybe she keeps it do detract from her ginormous nose. and Jen’s nose is not a good nose, pre- or post- surgery. bad nose.

  34. gogoboots

    there is no denying that jens had some work done. she looks totally differnt on old friends episodes, she actually has a nice normal body, and after the second or third season she starts to shrink and look more like courteney cox.

    however, hands down, angelina jolie is hotter than jen. jen just needs to stop whining and move on, however, the divorce is the best publicity EVER for her in particular. so everyone starts to feel sorry for her and give her better roles in movies. she’s not a great actress either, all her movie roles are like Rachel on Friends and she can’t really get beyond that typecast.

  35. Courtney

    Okay, I think she *used* to be really cute. Like during the second season of Friends or so, before all the tanning and smoking made her look all blah-like.

  36. gogoboots

    actually she’s never been that attractive, she even looks annoying…so maybe that whole story is true, especially the part about the chicken cutlets and icing her nipples. the mental image of bikini waxing on the couch is also pretty amusing, if you go to the source, Jen’s publicist doesn’t deny any of these parts of the story.

  37. chronic

    #14, that site I’m pretty sure is done by a plastic surgeon, who knows what to look for, and also what types of things can be done.

    Jolie’s lower lip is definitely droopier in the first pic, I’ve never seen it look like that. You can see the space between her lip and chin is bigger. As for nose, it does look a bit more chiselled and thinner around the bridge. I don’t really see any makeup contour in that picture – which she wouldn’t need anyway, since her nose isn’t bulgy. The cheekbones are maybe up for debate, but seems quite possible. Cheekbone implants seem to be pretty much endemic in Hollywood.

    As for SJP, sometimes it doesn’t look good when people with big noses get a nosejob – remember that chick from dirty dancing. No one knows who the f she is anymore.

  38. chronic

    #32, are you serious? Who cares, it’s some dumb book amid a sea of dumb books. You’re reading way too much into it. Talk about a martyr, lighten up.

  39. smartass

    I never watched Friends. I thought it looked stupid from the start. From what I saw of previews they all looked like they were reading lines too. Of course everyone knows you don’t have to have any talent, or even be attractive to be an overpaid, over-rated actor. SJP is, & has always been, ugly on a stick. If you look @ annistan’s face, she’s homely. And a lot of them are so skinny their skin just hangs on bones & sways around. Gross! And these talentless idiots would go away if the media didn’t pay them a gazillion dollars for an interview for a newspaper, magazine or tv show.

  40. downshine

    i’m not suprised she did that shit. Angelina Jolie deserves Brad way more than that stuck-up self-obsessed bitch. At least Angelina isn’t so terrible as to refuse to have children. Oh yeah, Jen is the ugliest star in hollywood, what did/do people ever see in her?

  41. happy_bunny

    #37 Jolie’s obviously got a different nose than the one she was born with. There’s a bump in the middle that’s gone missing and the bridge is much narrower.

    And why, for the love of God, with EVERY mention of Jennifer Aniston or Pitt or Jolie do we ALWAYS have to go into this Team Aniston vs Team Jolie bullshit? Is anyone else as sick as I am of hearing how whiny Jen is or what a homewrecking bitch Angelina is or how much hotter Angelina is than Jen or what a two-timing heel Brad is?

    Let’s move on already, shall we.

  42. Porcelyn

    She has to be one of the top 5 ugliest celebs. Barf.

  43. Ok, Her rep denied the story, but forgot that Aniston admitted to having a plastic surgery procedure done…then the rep denied they were friends, but admits that they lived together. It sort of fits with the story that Aniston told “Not knowing it would make her sound psycho” that she studied before her first date with Pitt to make sure she could act like she liked all the things she liked…..gee, sounds like a manipulative psycho cow to me. I’m so sick of hearing about poor little Jen, lets face it, she will NEVER be a big movie star. She just doesn’t light up the screen the way Jolie, or Bullock, or in her day Meg Ryan or Michelle Pfiefer do. Jen, be happy being a character actress. Kimberly Stewart was right…you are kinda homely.

  44. Porcelyn

    Kimberly Stewart called Jen homely? LOL! Has she looked in a mirror? Talk about the pot caling the kettle black.

  45. happy_bunny

    Kimberly Stewart’s a full-on tail-wagger.

  46. Kimberly Stewart said something along the lines of, “I’m so glad Jennifer Anniston is Famous, she isn’t perfect like Angelina Jolie or some model, she has faults and can be a bit homely like the rest of us” Then Jen made a big deal about how it hurt her feelings etc…. So Kimberly didn’t say it in a nasty way “Although she unfortunatly takes after her dad in the looks dept.”

  47. HughJorganthethird

    Hey Jen didn’t get famous because of her winning personality. She’s famous because…
    she…did that thing…on that show..with that guy whatshisname..and the monkey I think..

    ah fuck it. Why is she famous again?

  48. Tania

    I clicked on the “source” and read the full article. Vince Vaughn’s management company has purchased the movie rights to this story. Ouch.

  49. Ali

    I have NEVER understood how Jennifer Anniston got to be such a big deal AND got Brad Pitt…I about choked everytime I saw pics of them with captions that called them “Hollywood’s Most Beautiful Couple”…WTF?

    She looks like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie…seriously. When he gets dressed up as Dorothy, he is like Jen’s twin! I have always thought “Tootsie!” everytime I see her.

  50. happy_bunny

    Angelina’s way hotter than Jen… Jen has a chin .. I call her Chinnifer Chiniston HA HA! … Brad’s a cheater… He’s gorgeous though… Angelina’s a homewrecker… I’m sick of hearing about this and it’s all Chinnifer Chiniston’s fault their personal lives are over exposed in the tabloids because she’s always whining and wants all the attention for herself but she’ll never be big and famous like Pitt or Jolie so she needs to shut up and go kill herself …. blah… blah…. blah….blah… blah…. blah….blah… blah…. blah…. blah… blah…. blah….

    *stabs self in head with pen*

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