Oh, good, Pinkberry. That’ll break the cycle.
Jennifer Love Hewitt drowns her emotions in ice cream and carries around three preselected engagement rings so you don’t propose to her the wrong way, so finding out she got dumped by another boyfriend leaves me nothing short of baffled. She’s exactly what men want in a woman! In Touch reports:
Jennifer Love Hewitt might just be the most unlucky-in-love Hollywood starlet! Her latest boyfriend, 27-year-old actor Jarod Einsohn, has broken up with her — via text message, a source tells In Touch exclusively.
Oh, Christ, he broke up with her over text? Is she really that bad to be around because, seriously, what’s the worst that could happen if he did it in person? She takes off her top and tries to bang him back into a relationship? Or, okay, say she tries to knife you in the chest like all those corpses wearing groomsmen tuxes in the basement? It’s not like Jennifer Love Hewitt is the fast sprinter type. Then again, perhaps a fear of dying alone grants her superhuman speed, so probably best to leave the country. Now. Today. I’ll distract her with banana splits. BACK, WOMAN! I’ve got hot fudge.