Jennifer Lopez’s Nipple Storms Germany
While making an appearance on the popular German television show Wetten, Dass..? Saturday night, Jennifer Lopez’s almost entire right boob popped out which, admittedly, isn’t as exciting as I made it out to be in the headline, but “Half of Jennifer Lopez’s Tortilla-Size Areola” doesn’t exactly conjure up images of a nipple punching out Hitler, now doesn’t it? Anyway, you’ll notice I made the uncensored versions available because, again, these really aren’t so much a nip slip as an exercise in figuring out how Marc Anthony responds to seeing areolae bigger than his home planet in the Salsa Nebula.
MARC: Ay dios mio! The Chipotle Quadrant completed their space station!
JLO: It’s my nipple, Marc.
MARC: I shall form a rebellion in the rings of Guacamolia and crush their cojones like the putas they are! *spits* Ready my flying saucer, woman.
JLO: *sigh* You turned it into a fajita bar.
MARC: Ay, yes, I recall it’s deliciousness… Trap Jaw!
TRAP JAW: Yes, Lord Skeletor.
MARC: We take your car.
TRAP JAW: Right away, Lord Skeletor.