Casper Smart Proposed To JLo Five Times This Year, It Didn’t Work

“But I’m not even tired, and you said I could watch until Olaf’s song!”
“Fine, but after that, it’s right to bed. Now, go put your PJs on.”

Because finding a different young man to have sex with her rich vagina is somehow proving difficult for Jennifer Lopez, she took Casper Smart back even after he embarrassed the shit out of her getting caught leaving a peep show on her birthday, which he’s been trying to make up for ever since by proposing to her every other Tuesday. It’s not going well. Via Life & Style:

“Jen finally snapped at Casper by ordering him to stop proposing because she’s sick and tired of saying no,” the source reveals. “He’s probably asked her at least five times this year alone!”

I have no idea how she thinks this isn’t the best possible scenario for her. Isn’t the end goal of any marriage just a defeated, emotionally submissive husband who bends to the wife’s every whim with the least possible resistance? This dynamic should already be outlined in any respectable chauffeur contract, so why not spin that into reversing the public perception that she’s the world’s biggest bitch? Mariah Carey pulled this off and look how that worked out for he– Shit. Okay, I’m wrong, JLo, next time he asks, just give him a Gogurt and say you’re going to Sky Zone. Works every time.

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Photo: Luis Jr-Rodrigo/AKM-GSI