Jennifer Lopez Hired Casper Smart To Make Sure No One Photographs Her Butt In A Bikini

September 4th, 2012 // 29 Comments

For most of 2012, there have been rumors about what exactly Jennifer Lopez hired Casper Smart for and how much of that money he definitely spends on gay peep shows. Turns out his real occupation is Professional Ass Blocker because here he is in Miami with JLo making sure a towel is immediately wrapped around her ass before she exits a pool so the paparazzi can’t get a picture of it. He’ll also throw water at them, but assume that costs extra. “Mees Lopez say she buy me new Pokemon game. Be gone choo!”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily


  1. cc

    I can’t believe someone persuaded NASA to turn the Hubble toward her ass to take a picture.

  2. Jennifer Lopez Bikini Casper Smart
    Commented on this photo:

    “I said give me that muhfuckin’ towel right FUCKIN’ now!”

  3. Cock Dr

    That service is worth a new truck or two.

  4. Jennifer Lopez Bikini Casper Smart
    Commented on this photo:

    Odd duck couple

  5. Jennifer Lopez Bikini Casper Smart
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Hold that towel closer tiny dancer
    Cover the backside and the thighway
    Lay down over it sheets of linen
    You had a assy day today

  6. Is someone still ensuring her ass—literally, her ass—with Lloyd’s of London? If so, I suspect this isn’t so much about hiding it from the general public as it is keeping it from being actuarially devalued.

    “Gentlemen, we need to renegotiate Ms. Lopez’s policy. That is no longer a twenty-million-dollar ass. What’s the premium on…let’s say $50,000?”—the stuff of J. Lo’s nightmares

  7. it had to be said

    Well, to her credit it still looks much better than Kardashian’s ass.

  8. Jack Ketch

    Say what you will but at least it’s real !!

  9. Dr. Ray

    She’s clearly not taking fat from her butt and injecting it into her boobs.

  10. kimmykimkim

    Most important job ever.

  11. Duke Steele

    You’d need a wide angle lens for that, wouldn’t you?

  12. dontkillthemessenger

    What’s the big deal? Plenty of stars in Hollywood have gay assistants.

  13. Marie

    These shots were on another website and in one you can a man sitting on a chair right neat the pool with an obviously very professional camera, in another shot her daughter looks like right at the camera. I think we can assume this was a prearranged photo shoot made to like they were spontaneous…NOT that Jennifer Lopez would do that.

  14. Someone needs to take that douchebags shades and shove them up his ass. Now I understand women like JLo have low self esteem despite being able to get pretty much any type of man they want, but why do they go date Puff Donkey, Marc Anthony, to this worthless Jewish Crossdressing leech? Seriously. If you wonder why the male species has been pussified its because they dont have to do anything to score hot self centered chicks like this insecure Gila Monster.

  15. Jennifer Lopez Bikini Casper Smart
    Commented on this photo:

    Got that Rican tight lip. “You hand ONE job! Git it RIGHT”!

  16. ahhh yes

    maybe because she has had children and the ass is not what it use to be no women would want their butts photos after having children

  17. Can he use that towel to cover her face? Make sure you cover the mouth so I don’t have to hear her fucking voice.

  18. Blech

    Are you sure he isn’t just shielding humanity from farty fumes?

    It’s a big job, and someone’s gotta do it.

  19. Jennifer Lopez Bikini Casper Smart
    Commented on this photo:

    I really doubt it’s a national treasure…

  20. Jennifer Lopez Bikini Casper Smart
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s not doing a good job keeping that towel dry. Hired help is hard to find these days.

  21. She Stinks!

    Fat assed no talent self absorbed delusional HO Bag! JHO is so over, finally. Fired from Idol, poor record sales, concert tickets not selling……her career is done!

  22. Jennifer Lopez Bikini Casper Smart
    Commented on this photo:

    “Less play ‘Wrap the Mummy’.”

  23. Well good for you, you can do a job right for a change. What else are you good at? Anything that is worth your time? He’s not doing a good job keeping the towel dry at least. He’s dumb and ugly! He needs to go get a job and stop mooching off of J.Los money and eating up her food. He’s a worthless piece of shit! Opportunist and golddigging wimp! Go back to where you came from, back to Anaheim, Ca.

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