And Now The Time Jennifer Lawrence Shit Herself

November 21st, 2013 // 33 Comments

Alright, Internet, I’m going to say some things about your girlfriend, and I understand if it costs me a wedding invitation, but I only make with the real talk because I love. Long before Jennifer Lawrence started telling humorous anecdotes about shitting herself, there was another attractive blonde, also named Jenny, who liked to tell stories about pooping herself, too. Everyone thought it was so hilarious and that she was so hot, and then a bunch of kids died from diseases that had no business existing out of the 1920s. Not that I’m saying that’s going to happen here, but just be careful. Your father and I worry about you.

 

Photos: Splash News, WENN

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  1. Cock Dr

    If I was interested in having sex with Jennifer Lawrence this might put me off a bit.
    Dave didn’t have to do much with that one….just sitting there and providing poop reaction faces.
    Maybe Jen should lay off the coffee. I gonna say it’s coffee because she seems far too cranked up to be simply stoned.

    • Are you kidding, doctor? My boner has a boner right now….

    • Dox

      Actually, I was kind of thinking the same thing.
      Don’t get me wrong, I am quite sure everyone has those “I was so sick this one time…” stories… but truthfully, those are not really meant for sharing. Or if they are shared, it is usually when a friend of yours is very ill and has done something they feel hotly embarrassed about.

      Somehow the idea of relating an explosive diarrhea story with the nation at large seems like….

      Oversharing.

      • Its not the diarrhea, its the fact that she name dropped the Kardashians and Real Housewives in one sentence. Come on….she just doesn’t seem too smart to me anymore.

  2. JC

    I’d let her shit on me.

    You all were thinking it. I’m saying it.

  3. DBN

    That was like hearing someone tell you about the dream they had last night…

  4. Is it weird the short hair turns me off more than the pant shitting?

  5. Sancho

    Skatniss Everdeen.

  6. Deacon Jones

    Alright, toots.
    You’re the “girl next door that farts like everyone else (or, shits, in your case)” is starting to wear a little thin with my penis…

    • Hey, your penis’s lose is our penis’s gain…if any of us stood a realistic chance of ever meeting her, let alone having intimate relations…

  7. I found her talk show candor much more intriguing when she was talking about how her left boob was different from her right boob.

  8. Firecrotch McBatshit

    Amazing! Starlets shit just like us!

  9. Michael

    The Seth Rogen-meets-Otto Peterson laugh is horrifying.

  10. I did not need to know this.

    • Dox

      Know what’s even worse Don?

      Every time you consider her hot, sweaty, and nekkid… you will get this vision of her having explosive diarrhea. Go ahead, try it… you’re there…. with her…. on a deserted beach…. She slowly removes her top….

      *Brrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaapppppppppp*

      You’re welcome.

      • I know, right? It’s not even charming to share his story. Is she trying to appeal to the shit fetish crowd? Cause that’s a pretty small minority. You never hear Meryl Streep talk about her bowel movements, is all I’m saying.

      • crb

        Germany is clearly the next stop on the publicity tour.

        Followed by Japan, I guess.

  11. kimmykimkim

    “Haha! She pooped her pants. Poop is funny.” – kimberly, age 9 (and 33.)

  12. Kris Jenner

    Always thought she looks like Bristol Pailin

  13. dingdong

    I love her so hard!

  14. Megan

    God. I thought she was a lot cooler than this. This feel so Miley Cyrus. And I mean that in the worst way possible. Gross.

  15. kery

    That hair doesn`t look good in a simple girl, you must be georgeous in order to look decent and feminine in a short hair.

  16. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    So she shit her pants, while the rest of Hollywood has shit fer brains. Once again she separates herself from the pack (of morons).

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