Jennifer Lawrence & Chris Martin Stopped F*cking

Presumably because Gwyneth Paltrow keeps Chris Martin’s balls firmly ensconced in a hand-carved Sri Lankan testicle cuplet ($799.95, GOOP), his conscious coupling with Jennifer Lawrence’s vagina has transcended this plane of reality, according to E! News. Plus it’s not like he can’t see her naked anytime he wan- what? We’re all thinking it. And I’m not even judging her. I’m just saying the guy probably knows how to use Google. Or has what’s-his-face do it, the boy. Methuselah. (Close enough.)

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