Haha! Jennifer Aniston Cups

April 17th, 2013 // 36 Comments

To drive home how slow today is, the biggest story on the Internet right now (Not counting CNN’s Boston Marathon fuck-up.) is Jennifer Aniston showing up to a movie premiere with visible cupping marks on her back. And for those of you who don’t know what cupping is, I’m not going to Google it either and just say it’s some sort of Chinese magic that reverse ages you through your shoulder blades. Which sounds ridiculous but is at least better than Angelina Jolie‘s method of stealing children from ethnicities that all look the same then draining their life-force without anyone knowing she replaced them. That’s offensive AND racist.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. grobpilot

    Fir….. No. Fuck no.

  2. Jennifer Aniston Cupping Marks On Back Call Me Crazy Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Makes the Sesame Street clip seem like a riveting celebrity news story.

  3. Romi

    *waits for someone to explain “cupping” so I don’t have to google it*

  4. Frank Burns

    Cups? Don’t be ridiculous. Its tentacle marks from ritual sex with a half-man, half-octopus demonic under-lord, whose dark magic allows a woman of little discernible talent, average face, and goodish body to be an A-lister based on a shit pile of ass-tastic romantic comedies.

    That’s right folks, I’m a Superficial reader!


    crazy bitch

  6. Anthony

    I don’t know, they kinda look like hoof marks to me sooo…. donkey porn?

  7. Buddy The Elf

    Dont Google it.
    You cant unsee that shit.

  8. Does cupping also work if you use your hands? On your balls? This might explain David Beckham.

  9. Jennifer Aniston Cupping Marks On Back Call Me Crazy Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care if she cups or spoons, I’d still fork this dish.

  10. Jennifer Aniston Cupping Marks On Back Call Me Crazy Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Justin Theroux didn’t do a good job of cleaning up after himself.

  11. Ashley

    Cupping is a sort of suction-treatment. You take cups, light a candle underneath, remove it quickly and put the cup upside down on the skin. The suction from the cup pulls the skin, increasing blood circulation and supposedly bad spirits from the body.

    AKA, it’s a hardcore massage and feels fantastic.

  12. Joe Blow

    That one in the center has drip marks… it looks like someone had some acidic man-paste sprayed onto her back after a rousing game of Cowboy Up.

  13. My friend from Viet Nam used to have this done, but his looked waaaaay darker, like they actually burned. Also, they were more perfect circles and didn’t have that spooge trail thing going on there.Either she went to someone who doesn’t know what they are doing orshe banged a unicorn and he released there

    • SWL

      Most likely what you are seeing is the makeup blotted all over to cover the marks from the cupping. It makes me wonder why she didn’t just pick a dress that covered that area…

  14. Those are actually the marks from all the guys who have touched her with a ten-foot pole.

  15. Cock Gobble Gobble

    Treatment for her rampant herpes.

  16. tlmck

    Looks like about a B-cup to me.

  17. Why is this a big deal? Lots of people get this done, there is nothing radical about it.

  18. Tribbles in the tanning bed?

  19. Jennifer Aniston Cupping Marks On Back Call Me Crazy Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    The one thing I’m getting from this picture is that she’s finally in her place at Lifetime…and their executive signed the contract on her back….with their penises…what I’m saying is she’s a whore and Holltwood is the new Soddom. Where do I sign up?

  20. Jennifer Aniston Cupping Marks On Back Call Me Crazy Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know how I know no one respects you in any way whatsoever… ? Not one person bothered to mention that your fake tanner/cupping session makes you look like a fucking retard.”

    Seriously, I think it’s pretty much a given that no mater how shallow, fickle or douchey we all are on this site, 100% of us have someone in our life who would simply say, “Dude, what’s up with your back? You can’t go out like that!”

    The fact that not one person (Not ONE!!) felt it necessary to mention anything to Jennifer tells you everything you need to know about her and what EVERYONE around her thinks of her.

  21. bob

    I’ve had this done when sick many times as a child growing up in eastern Europe. Funny how now it’s some trendy hipster Hollywood thing.

  22. JK

    Must have been shooting something in Japan recently, those tentacles will get ya whether you’re looking or not.

  23. Oh, Jesus, God. Can YOU stop hatIn’ & spreading the lies that Angelina Jolie’s adoptions are ‘offensive & racist?’ No one criticizes Mia Farrow or Josephine Baker. I find YOU ‘offensive & racist.’

  24. Glin

    I get cupping with acupuncture. I just don’t get why she didn’t just leave her hari done to cover it? That’s what I do.

  25. Jennifer Aniston Cupping Marks On Back Call Me Crazy Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    she is gorgeous..

  26. Cher X

    Gwenneth did this a long time ago and also re a strapless dress.

  27. Austin

    Be the cup.

  28. Dee

    The make-up coverage is a poor job like it was done in haste. It would have been classier to wear a wrap or another outfit that covers the shoulders.

  29. Jennifer Aniston Cupping Marks On Back Call Me Crazy Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do all celebrities believe in pseudo science? I get that being famous makes you crazy but there seems to be an inordinate number of scientologists, kabbalah, and “ancient Chinese medicine” believers. Cupping is akin to putting leeches on your skin to suck the “bad blood” out, but I guess 19th century medicine practiced by ignorant white guys doesn’t sound as cool as when ethnic Chinese peasants do it.

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