Haha! Jennifer Aniston Cups
To drive home how slow today is, the biggest story on the Internet right now (Not counting CNN’s Boston Marathon fuck-up.) is Jennifer Aniston showing up to a movie premiere with visible cupping marks on her back. And for those of you who don’t know what cupping is, I’m not going to Google it either and just say it’s some sort of Chinese magic that reverse ages you through your shoulder blades. Which sounds ridiculous but is at least better than Angelina Jolie’s method of stealing children from ethnicities that all look the same then draining their life-force without anyone knowing she replaced them. That’s offensive AND racist.