If You’re Staring At Jennifer Aniston’s Cleavage Right Now, We’re Dead. Just Kidding! (Maybe)

October 30th, 2012 // 56 Comments

If you’re reading this post right now, that means Photo Boy and I never made it to our computers this morning because we both don’t have power and/or weren’t worthy enough followers of Barack Obama, so he murdered us with the hurricane he summoned with his Kenya magic to win the election. Playas gotta play.

We’ll see you when we see you, and if we don’t, avenge our deaths. (SUCK HOT MINION, NATURE.)

- The Superficial

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. MoozBoy

    Who’s the old guy next to her in the first picture?

  2. Joaquin ingles

    If I was in charge of naming hurricanes they’d be appropriate, like Hurricane Cunt, Bitch, etc.

    “Aw shit, time to evacuate. Hurricane Whore’s coming.”

  3. cc

    A little bit of cropping on the left side would have done this picture a world of good.

    • anonymous

      Yeah you can crop out everything but the cleavage.

      • You’re welcome.
        [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/30/jennifer-269_229.jpg[/img]

      • Shoebacca

        That is some flap-jacky cleave. She doesn’t even have kids. No excuse for IHOP boobs if you don’t have any kids.
        Oh, wait, I forgot she’s a hippie pothead, thus, no bra.
        Nevermind.

      • KV

        Actually she has a very good excuse… she’s over 40. Boobs eventually tend to sag unless you’re flat as a board. What I don’t get is why she is trying so hart. She needs a new stylist asap.

      • Chewwie

        She is a sexy woman, when you grow up you will understand.

  4. Kodos

    A fine example of the contrast between tore-up Hollywood and that part that managed to keep themselves in ‘fighting trim’.

    Still shamelessly for Team Jen.

    Don’t you feel like a fool, Brad?

  5. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s really nice of her to visit with burn victims like that. Not enough celebs take the time to do this kind of charity work.

  6. USDA Prime McBeef

    Well. Fuck. I guess I could do work at work today.

    *sigh*

  7. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Jonathan Pryce standing to the left of Jennifer Aniston’s tits?

  8. Thanks for calling us Hot Minions, boys! :D
    We miss you!!

  9. i see nipples!

    She never stops being hot!

  10. The Royal Penis

    I’d do both these spinster’s in a heart beat and plant a baby in their rotting uteruses. Cause I’m a nice guy like that.

  11. YTBOY

    No doubt she has nice boobs but she damn “All American Girl” for me!!

  12. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Jen automatically win this round of celebrity photo combat? Clearly she scores many points here with her aggressive “hang those boobs way out” strategy.

  13. poopy

    Is she still deemed hot? I can’t tell especially since I am a woman. She has great boobs though.

  14. Jo

    Jen’s face is just too rough and manly for me. She looks like Fabio with that huge chin and non existent lips.

    She shows off her boobs to distract from her face. A classic butterface.

  15. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    CIDM
    Commented on this photo:

    ASAP, someone must tell pancake boobs McChinny to STOP wearing those nasty dresses!!

  16. Tom

    I can’t see enough of them.

  17. dude

    seriously guys? those pancakes are gross.

    • Bronson Pinchot's Hair

      Agreed. Gross flap jacks.

      Two ugly scary monsters in this pic. All in the spirit of Halloween.

  18. tom

    Desperate ex-Hollywood celebrities turning into old-forty something attention whores.

  19. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what would make this picture better? A time machine.

  20. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Who wants to argue that “All-American Good Looks” is a thing that actually matters now?

  21. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    McMuffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Aniston is the only celeb that makes me horny

  22. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d let the both of them tag team me.

  23. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    No one compares with Salma.

  24. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Two old, insecure, unstable, hags who can’t keep a man, make the same movies over and over again, and have the plastic surgeon on speed dial. In other words, dream women.

  25. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Douche. James Douche.

  26. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry Salma, bigger means nothing when they aren’t hanging out.

  27. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Drew getting ready to motorboat…

  28. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly, Aniston can afford the premium boyfriend brand. Unfortunately they also see to expire every couple of years. Design vs durability.

  29. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey justin, turn off your forehead flashlight, you’re distracting from my boobs!

  30. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Wanna guess why he’s still sticking around? (HINT: it’s not the face)

  31. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Cheer up Salma, you’ll hang out your boobs some other time

  32. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait Drew Barrymore is pregnant?

  33. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s only one thing wrong with Jen’s tay-tays…they are not in my mouth.

  34. Monty83

    Weather modification has been a reality since the late 40′s when Wilhelm Reich handed over technology to the U.S. Gov. Also, look into HAARP.

  35. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    hames
    Commented on this photo:

    wait drew barrymore is wearing leggings?

  36. Jennifer Aniston Cleavage LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala
    Shemp
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a shame Jen didn’t show us her butthole.

  37. Ida

    I must say, they both haven’t aged well. They both looked great when they were younger though!

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