There Is No Jenna Jameson, Only Zuul

March 25th, 2013 // 57 Comments

Here’s Jenna Jameson celebrating her birthday in Vegas over the weekend, and according to Wikipedia, she’s 38 which can’t be right because I’m almost positive I’ve seen cave drawings of this same exact woman blowing a mastodon before levitating back into a giant floating disk in the sky. Later, her kind would return to teach agriculture to early man but everyone was like, “Yeah, yeah, plants need water. Where’s the one who puts stuff in her mouth? Teach my wife that stuff.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, WENN

superficial

  1. I used to want to have sex with this woman. No more.

    • That Bastard Tony

      Not I. Even when she was at her peak there were more attractive women in the industry that brought more heat to their scenes. Definitely overrated.

    • She was always overrated as a porn star imo. Brianna Banks was always my preference at that time. Jenna’s best scene, that I’ve ever seen, is her very first one.

  2. She looks brain addled. Probably a combination of drugs, hard fucking, drugs, and drugs.

    • Jay

      I believe you are correct, except for all the drugs she probably did

      • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

        Besides the drugs, there’s the skull-being-banged-into-the-headboard-for-hours-on-end factor to be considered. Also, all that plastic in one body can’t be good for body or mind; see under:Anderson, Pamela, for details.

  3. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Why you NEVER get nostalgic about porn! One minute you’re curious about your old favorites. Next, you’re head butting a bison because you have to kill the pain somehow.

  4. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Commented on this photo:

    those are the armpits of 40+ yr old…

  5. After seeing all the horrible celeb face lifts (Ashley Judd), I’m starting to get the feeling that the rest of the country is tricking stars into being the guinea pigs until plastic surgeons actually get it right. There’s no way this lady thinks she looks better now than before the knife.

  6. The fact that owners look like their pets is the only plausible reason she’s starting to look more and more like Tito.

  7. That Bastard Tony

    Julia Ann got started in the industry years before Jenna and looks worlds better than her today. So much for the stereotype that hard fucking will kill your looks.

  8. Freebie

    Come on – your’e old and it shows, plus your cheap latex outfit is coming apart at the edge. No class.

  9. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    kevin baconator
    Commented on this photo:

    N-ASS-TY

  10. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Rob
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry but JJ always had a flat ass, these must be implants

  11. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    chicka
    Commented on this photo:

    …shoved into an outfit made in China that’s already busting a seam. Class-Y!!

  12. Raj

    Why is her hair the color of rat poison?

  13. Deacon Jones

    I know that look.

    Its called someone who pops 40 percs a day

  14. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    totally everything from her hair to her clothing is unflattering. the fact that she has my h airstyle makes me wanna vomit. shit.

  15. I wonder what kind of wacky stunts you’d get on “Circus of the (Adult) Stars”?

  16. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Roseanne Barr
    Commented on this photo:

    Ass implants???

  17. Griefer

    Porn stars rack up the mileage.

  18. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Pete Nice
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone in front of her caught a few diseases. Myself through the monitor included.

  19. wow shes 38?
    damn i didnt even recognize her.
    she looks soOo different without a dick in her mouth.

  20. She needs to stop coming out in public and ruining our memories of what she used to be.

  21. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Commented on this photo:

    A lousy celebrity impersonation for 2 reasons.
    1 – poor resemblance to the actual celebrity
    2 – the ‘celebrity’ was famous for being sexy; this isn’t sexy

  22. Bane

    LOL!!!!

    Best headline in a while.

  23. For some odd reason none of these porn stars age gracefully…

    • Brought It

      Darling, the reason is not at all odd…

      This woman is a mother. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. (I just threw up in my mouth a little.)

  24. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Commented on this photo:

    There are so many things wrong with this situation. Let’s list them!
    1. 2000 Flushes colored hair with a Skrillex half-shave. She could definitely pass for Miley’s mom.
    2. Eye makeup from last week
    3. Armpits of doom
    4. That dress. (Mock turtle neck??? Why?!)
    5. Wearing the aforementioned dress like she forgot she had her implants removed

  25. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    dhaddo
    Commented on this photo:

    They put in the implants upside down

  26. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they reused an early version of a Joan Rivers face lift.

  27. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    In about 5 yrs she will be Donatella Versace

  28. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    G Man
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the guy that sings, you turn me right round baby right round

  29. That guy

    I used to fap to this?!

  30. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    She didn’t really get her breast implants removed, they just migrated to her ass.

  31. anonym

    WTF HAPPENED TO HER FACE?!

  32. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her goal in life is to be a walking demo of implants.

  33. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Commented on this photo:

    Seeing how psychologically damaged this woman is after all the years of sucking and fucking she’s done, is actually kind of sad.

    Seriously, how much must she hate herself that she has to constantly get the most atrocious cosmetic surgery done to get further and further away from looking like herself.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’d still whack off to her work, it’s just that I wouldn’t whack off to any of her new stuff. Oh, sweet Lord – I’m a porn snob!

    • cc

      You know, being serious for a fleeting moment, I think most porn starlets are mentally damaged to begin with, and the longer they are in the industry, the worse it gets. The more they spout crap about ‘oh, it’s just sex, everyone enjoys sex’ the more you know they are one razor away from an early grave.

  34. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    DDFann
    Commented on this photo:

    What a Dog!!!!!

  35. cc

    So much for the theory that semen is good for your complexion.

  36. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Commented on this photo:

    Does her ass look bigger? Hand those arms some free weights!

  37. She was awesome in Zombie Strippers.

  38. Jenna Jameson Butt Tight Leather Unitard Birthday Party Crazy Horse III
    Matt AUS
    Commented on this photo:

    that is HOT

  39. John Blaze

    That’s what meth and tanning beds will do to you. Age you hard.

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