January Jones Blogs About Sharks Now

Look at that pointy nose and beady little eyes searching for new prey. My God, she’s one of them…

January Jones already has a reputation as an ice-cold bitch factory who keeps babies forged in a bed of adultery out of spite only to deny them motherly affection lest their hearts grow warm enough to melt her frost-bitch exterior. So, naturally it was only a matter of time until she laid the groundwork to build a shark army which is how I chose to read her recent blog post to the Huffington Post (You got me.) which surprisingly wasn’t about how pretty she is. Very cunning…

According to a new report released this week by Oceana, less than 1% of the highly migratory sharks reported caught in the Atlantic Ocean are protected from overfishing by the International Commission for the Conservation of Atlantic Tunas (ICCAT), the group that’s charged with protecting them.
And what’s more, the report indicates that three-quarters of the highly migratory shark species being caught in ICCAT fisheries are classified as threatened in parts of the Atlantic by the International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN).
That’s a heck of a lot of neglected sharks.

“A heck of a lot of neglected sharks.”

Wow. Did anyone else find themselves overwhelmingly compelled to write a check to save these proud creatures? Because I wrote mine out to, “DIE YOU SHARK-LOVING HARPIE, I’LL SPEAR YOU MYSELF.”