Janet Jackson Is Pregnant, Maybe

Janet Jackson will be 50 next month, yet every corner of the Internet is telling me she might be pregnant, so let’s ignore the frightening implications of that and milk some SEO, shall we? PEOPLE reports:

Janet Jackson has sparked speculation that she may be pregnant after she postponed her Unbreakable world tour.
The singer, 49, broke the news in a video message shared to her Twitter account, revealing that the second leg of the tour would be delayed while she and husband Wissam Al Mana, 41, focus on “planning our family.”

Of course, we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility that this is happening as we speak:

“What is it, honey?”
“My mom just gave me a letter from Michael that I’m supposed to read if I ever find out I’m pregnant. This is unbelievable. I wonder what it says. *opens*

‘Dear Janet,

I stashed a small boy in your vagina while you were sleeping. Don’t worry, I gave him a juice box. He’ll be fine.


P.S. The maid won’t let me throw poopballs anymore. What the fuck is that? (Don’t tell dad I swore!)'”

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Photo: Getty