Jamie Lynn Spears’ body makes full recovery, in related news: I’m going to jail

August 7th, 2008 // 77 Comments

These are the first pics of Jamie Lynn Spears in public after giving birth to daughter Maddie Brianne. Just to be clear, I don’t want this post encouraging young readers to consider teenage pregnancy because your body apparently snaps right back into shape like nothing ever happened. So, that being said, GOOD GOD!


  1. zegabe


    and no, i aint got anything else going on in my life
    i will not grow up
    and i’m a douchebag


  2. Karch


  3. Jammy


  4. kate

    jamie must be packin’ some flappy skin underneath her shirt.

  5. Cattyluo

    She is so beautiful.Her hot pictures were found on ***M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e . c o m ***—Many fans like her very much.It is said she has pregnancy…..More details will be found on this site.

  6. should the underage law thing be struck null and void if the minor in question has popped out a kid?


  7. hudd

    She is way prettier than her sis Britney.

  8. Just to be clear, that body didn’t “snap into anything” except maybe a slim jim…

  9. Who's Horny?

    Now that’s something worth going to jail for

  10. JPRichardson

    Nowhere close to Britney Spears’ beauty.

    When Britney was cute and in form, that is.

  11. stud

    anyone else notice she’s lactating a bit in the pic where she’s bending over to open up the baby carriage?

  12. havoc

    Find a photo of her blown out beef curtains and then get back to me….


  13. idl3mind

    she looks a lot better postpartum than her big sis

  14. gotmilk?

    she looks like she’s barely old enough to babysit that kid.

  15. Ted Mosby

    Looks healthy and hittable.

  16. Ted from LA

    I’ll bet Wal-Mart is glad to see her back. Have any of you ever been in a Wal-Mart? I went to one last week for the first (and god willing the last) time in my life. We were on vacation and we couldn’t find anywhere else to go. Holy shit what a bunch of fat, stupid, ugly, lost-soul-looking people. That was the workers. Don’t even get me started on the customers. If you shop at Wal-Mart, go on a diet and stop shopping at Wal-Mart. You get good deals (in your mind), but you see so many good deals that you can’t pass up (because you’re a moron) that you end up spending more money than you would have for a bunch of shit that you really don’t need. Was that out loud?

  17. danny

    She’s OK, but would be much better if she (1) worked out to build some muscle tone, and (2) escaped from her hillbilly family. And don’t feel bad about being attracted to teenaged girls: it’s a biological reaction resulting from eons of evolution. Your genes WANT you to get into her jeans. :)

  18. H-dog

    Are they seriously shopping at Wal-Mart? How….appropriate….

  19. P-Mat

    Wave goodbye to your life bitch – unless you dump that kid in the dumpster behind Wall-Mart fast!

  20. Cum_Dumpster says...

    You have to know those milk bladders are warm, full and just so fun to mash and squeeze….hmmmmmm

  21. Eugene McWalters

    I think they forgot the baby inside, whoopsies!

  22. baby

    Oh she’s hot!
    I would like to suck her lactating breasts :)

  23. #10. just give her time, just give her time. britney at that age was a smooth-faced spring chicken too. check out jamie lynn in 8 years then get back to me. she’ll be britney’s age but her kid (plus probably 3 or 4 more) will be TEN.

  24. I’d make Miley my fluffer and Jamie my Pigtails and Round Asses co-star.

  25. She looks like Carrie Underwood before American Idol… only with a massive rack, a kid, and significantly less talent.

  26. HEY! What’s Cris Angel doing behind her..?

  27. veggi

    I hope she wakes up one day and finds the baby lying in the crib…blue and cold.

  28. #30 – In the IT world we refer to you as an ID 10 T error.

  29. moderator

    28,29,31 – Chatty Cathy – let other people get in a few comments.

  30. HAHA!

    She IS LACTATING in the pic where she’s bent over the stroller!

  31. Judge Judy

    “should the underage law thing be struck null and void if the minor in question has popped out a kid?”

    Yes, by law it is. Also, if a girl has been raped once already, you can pretty much do anything to her for free – spurt all over her face after you’ve broken every bone in it and knocked out her teeth, etc.

  32. moderator is a joke, right?

  33. truth

    How the mighty have fallen……………………

  34. Harmonov

    Nice cankles.

  35. Chatty Cathys Cat

    32 i agree with you modulator, because your funnyer than itchport


  36. No

    Good thing the tits are big. Something has to keep that head from floating away…

  37. Another Ted, also from LA


    If you went on vacation and the only place you could think to go was a Wal-Mart, then you are the biggest loser there.

    And regarding Jamie Lynn: If it’s okay for a 38 year old man to impregnate her, then it’s definitely okay for me to think about what it would be like to fucking pound the shit out of her white trash pussy.

  38. J-Bo

    Comment and laugh all you want …but does anyone else realize that the Spears family is amassing a prolific army of white trash dunces? I dont know about you…but in the next decade they could be the ruling class the way they spurt out puppies…i mean soldiers…i mean kids. The only good thing to come of that is the use of twinkies and cheetos as currency.

  39. mmmm…. mom boobs on young girl….

  40. haroof

    Wow the tits on that chick…


  41. #35 – The moderator is real… just ask the legion of limited edition Star Wars action figures he’s talking to, the ones dutifully lines up on his stack of D&D capaign guides..

    It’s not my fault… this conference call is putting me to sleep…

  42. biteme

    my favourite picture is the last one…where Monica Lewinsky’s thinner sister is about to deliver an elbow to the white trash teenage momma.

  43. seriously, who the fuck goes to WalMart on vacation. even if it was the “only thing open” you should know better.

  44. dementa

    I imagine she’s already knocked up with Spears Bastard #2. Or #5, if you count Lynn, Jamie-Lynn and Shitney.

    And she doesn’t look nearly as attractive when you blot out the whole celeb thing, and just think of her as another unemployed white-trash single-mom who’ll probably have six kids in seven years, all by different dads. I vote to nuke Kentwood.

  45. NEXT Story Please

    I hate this chubby hillbilly bitch, but I love her “Golden Girls” t-shirt.

  46. Lindsay

    It’s because she’s like 14. No one should have babies that young anymore, but since we’re MADE to, yeah they snap back better. However I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see her naked anytime soon.

    The only exception is Heidi Klum, who is obviously not of this world, freakin alien

  47. hhi

    I think she’s gorgeous; kind of reminds me of a younger brunette version of Rachel Leigh Cook, and as someone else said, also looks kind of like Carrie Underwood. She seems really down to earth too; not some Hollywood snob. I think she’s always gotten kind of the shit end of the stick, along w/ her brother Brian, because everything was always Britney, Britney, Britney. So I hope she’s able to find some happiness in life (yeh, I know its the superfish and I’m supposed to be mean, but I guess I’m feeling a little nice today; it happens sometimes).

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