Jaden Smith Opened His Mouth Again

It’s been almost a year since Jaden Smith’s last interview where he huffed every single fart that came out of his ass and explained to the world that he’s a metaphysical prana energy expert who can control time. Except now he’s back for a new interview with GQ where Jaden tries to say he and his sister are trolling the world, which almost sounds believable until he starts comparing himself to Galileo and Banksy because his parents famously don’t believe in telling their kids, “No,” and now have a 12-foot-tall pyramid in their house because of it.

On Humanity Being His Guinea Pigs:

“Me and Willow are scientists,” he explains, “so everything for us is a scientific test upon humanity. And luckily we’re put in a position where we can affect large groups of human beings at one time.” Fame is their lab, is what he’s saying, and we are the subjects. He’ll get on Twitter and tweet something like “The Biggest Flex Anyone Will Ever Have Is Dying.” Or the T Magazine interview they did last year, the one that left everyone convinced they were drunk on prana energy: “That experiment — it went really, really well,” he tells me. “We got to see how people reacted. And they actually ended up reacting exactly as we predicted beforehand that they would react.”

On Basically Believing He’s Galileo

“It’s fun, bro. That’s what a lot of people don’t realize. It’s fun. It’s so much fun. It’s the best thing. People think you’re crazy — I feel like it’s an honor, actually, for people to think I’m crazy. Because they thought Galileo was crazy, too, you know what I’m saying? I don’t think I’m as revolutionary as Galileo, but I don’t think I’m not as revolutionary as Galileo.”

And Also Banksy But, Like, Way More Helpful Because Squad Goals? I Fucking Hate This Kid

“No one will know where I am in ten years. They’ll see me pop up, but they’ll be like, ‘Where’d you come from?’ No one will know. No one will know where I’m at. No one will know who I’m with. No one will know what I’m doing. I’ve been planning that since I was like 13.”
It’ll go like this, he says: “It’ll be kind of like Banksy. But in a different way. More of a social impact. Helping people. But through art installations. It’ll be like, ‘This just happened that helped a bunch of people over here. We don’t know who did it, but these symbols and things were left around, so we can only guess that it’s Jaden and the squad.’ You know what I’m saying? So I’m just dedicating my whole life to helping the world.”

Keep in mind, this entire interview took place in Calabasas where Jaden literally said a strip mall would be declared a “Walk of Fame” in 10 years because he and the Kardashians live there, which is probably the grimmest thing anyone has ever said about the future of humanity since the Book of Revelation. So unless Galileo Bansky, Squad Leader is going to stop that from happening with his magical art installations, I don’t want to hear any more Scientology filtered through Will Smith’s cumshot. My brain’s a special dimension, too, and it’s bleeding now.

Jaden Smith: I Want To Break All The Craziest World Records “Of Life” – GQ

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Photo: Eric Ray Davidson/GQ