Irina Shayk has been popping up all over the place the past few months and silly me chalked it up to a wider social acceptance of mail order brides. “At last, I can stop hiding and run for state senator,” I foolishly thought. Turns out she’s the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover. So kudos, SI, on the pervasive marketing even if it crushed my dreams to the point that I shipped one back in a fit of clinical depression.
Ha! Kidding. But don’t tell them that. It’s all about fear and putting heroin in their food. You know, like any marriage.