Bobbi Kristina: ‘Dear Mother, I Shall See Your Crack Addiction And Raise You Pseudo-Incest’

Before I even attempt to wrap my head around this story, I think it’s important that we all recognize one very crucial piece of information: Bobbi Kristina was raised by Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. How she made it to 18 is a goddamn miracle in and of itself, so the fact that she’s still alive although hooked on crack and banging her adopted brother Nick Gordon really isn’t all that bad. It’s not like they’re going to make this any weirder by getting married, except just kidding, they are. TMZ reports:

As we previously reported, Bobbi Kristina and Nick Gordon finally went public with their relationship this week … holding hands and kissing during a lunch date in Atlanta.
Now, with rumors swirling about a possible engagement … the massive ring on Bobbi’s finger isn’t doing anything to hint otherwise.

Nick actually tried to deny the relationship yesterday to ABC News which doesn’t really work when TMZ has pics of you making out with your adoptive sister in public and quotes from Cissy Houston saying you’re banging her granddaughter. Now I know calling evidence “haters” makes it all go away for Chris Brown, but until Nick Gordon almost beats Rihanna to death only to be rewarded three years later by touching her naked parts, he should probably stick to committing quasi-incest in a secluded Louisiana swamp cabin the way nature intended. That’s why Thomas Jefferson bought the place.

Photos: Getty