Bobbi Kristina: ‘Dear Mother, I Shall See Your Crack Addiction And Raise You Pseudo-Incest’

March 15th, 2012 // 36 Comments
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Before I even attempt to wrap my head around this story, I think it’s important that we all recognize one very crucial piece of information: Bobbi Kristina was raised by Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. How she made it to 18 is a goddamn miracle in and of itself, so the fact that she’s still alive although hooked on crack and banging her adopted brother Nick Gordon really isn’t all that bad. It’s not like they’re going to make this any weirder by getting married, except just kidding, they are. TMZ reports:

As we previously reported, Bobbi Kristina and Nick Gordon finally went public with their relationship this week … holding hands and kissing during a lunch date in Atlanta.
Now, with rumors swirling about a possible engagement … the massive ring on Bobbi’s finger isn’t doing anything to hint otherwise.

Nick actually tried to deny the relationship yesterday to ABC News which doesn’t really work when TMZ has pics of you making out with your adoptive sister in public and quotes from Cissy Houston saying you’re banging her granddaughter. Now I know calling evidence “haters” makes it all go away for Chris Brown, but until Nick Gordon almost beats Rihanna to death only to be rewarded three years later by touching her naked parts, he should probably stick to committing quasi-incest in a secluded Louisiana swamp cabin the way nature intended. That’s why Thomas Jefferson bought the place.

Photos: Getty


  1. Things have really taken a dark turn this week in celeb gossip.

  2. The Most Interesting

    And they say forced sterilization is always evil.

  3. EricLr

    That’s the two/one most healthy relationship(s) that family has seen in years.

  4. Johnny-5

    He was never legally adopted by Whitney Houston, and only started living in her mansion when he was 12. It’s quite a stretch to call Nick and Bobbi brother and sister. Still, funny post, even if mean and uncalled-for.

    • electricgrl

      When he was 12 and she was 9, and they’ve been raised as siblings for the last 10 years…sounds pretty bad to me. Besides, thats why Fish called is “psuedo” and “quasi” incest.

  5. God is Black

    The left one I see a bit of Whitney and a bit of Bobby and that’s not a complement. The one on the right(shudder) is beyond me. In evolution, mutation can be a BITCH when you add Crack!

  6. Frank Burns

    Perhaps the $6 million inheritance coming to Bobbi Kristina motivated her almost-brother Nick into making a very special trip to Kay Jewelers. Now if Bobbi Kristina has inherited her father’s life-planning skills, Nick can plan on being back at Kay Jewelers to try and hock the ring approximately two weeks after the inheritance arrives.

  7. Cock Dr

    Advice for the little rich girl: Don’t get married and don’t do drugs in the tub.

    • Schmidtler

      too late for the second bit of advice – the cops had to come and bust down the bathroom door 1 or 2 nights before Whitney bit it, because she fell asleep in the bathtub. wtf couldn’t my ex have fallen asleep in the bathtub?

  8. El Jefe

    They are not blood related and he was not adopted so as far as I am concerned he is a male and she is a female and their relationship is perfectly fine.

  9. Roman

    So stupid, they should be able to fuck if they want to as they aren’t blood relatives. This is such a non-story that makes me wish everyone would just die already so there’d be no more lameness.

    • You are correct! However, this is like those planned marriages in backassward countries. They decided to find a guy and mold him into Bobbi’s husband.

  10. whatthe

    If her brother is adopted, then they’re not biologically related, so their relationship is not incestuous. Dumbass Superficial writer.

    • Schmidtler

      we can still sneer and mock Woody Allen though, right?

      • gryphon50

        WAIT A MINUTE. That is a bit different. Woody Allen knew that girl as a child. Kristina and Nick were both children at the same time, they are almost the same age. One was not raising the other. Also, Woody was cheating on Mia and broke up a mother-daughter relationship as well.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Yes Gryphon, they were both children and grew up in the same house thinking of each other as siblings. It’s creepy.

    • Now go look up “pseudo”, dumbass Superficial poster.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      I blame The Bold and The Beautiful for this mess. Name a character in there that hasn’t banged her stepdads and stepbrothers and stepsons.

  11. Has she always parted her teeth down the middle?

    • EricLr

      Sadly, she inherited her father’s looks, her mother’s crack addiction, and neither’s talent.

    • weirdo

      She is so incredibly butt ugly it amazes me. I don’t think I’ve laid eyes on a female that’s so unattractive.

  12. Jon Hex

    This is terrible. Roommates shouldn’t date each other.

  13. Wink

    Holy shit. She is hideous. If her stepbrother will actually get with her she is probably just grateful someone will.

  14. Sliver

    What did we expect…many of you seem to have forgotten that Bobbi Kristina (wtf kind of name is that?) got burned with Whitney’s curling iron a long time ago.

  15. Bobbi Kristina Whitney Houston
    Commented on this photo:

    when is BK gonna fix them broke down teef?

  16. Robert Lee

    All of you are so, so disrespectful, take a long look at yourself and get a life.

  17. Bobu

    I find it hilarious (sad?) that she looks like Bobby Brown…while her name is Bobbi Brown.

  18. Bobbi Kristina Whitney Houston
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    too soon to be picking on this girl

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