‘If It’s So Fancy, How Comes They Ain’t Gots Starbucks?’

June 23rd, 2010 // 53 Comments

Here’s a pissed-off Britney Spears leaving the Marmalade Cafe in Calabasas yesterday presumably after finding out her bodyguard lied and it wasn’t KFC. While tricking her to eat salad is becoming increasingly important, it’s a kind of a dick thing to do considering Mickey Mouse most likely showed up in the past week or so to inform Britney she’s not allowed to flash her “bergina” anymore.

MICKEY: Haha! Hi, Britney! Only Miley Cyrus gets to show her special place now. I hope we can still be friends.
BRITNEY: …. In my brains, you looks like a sandwich.
MICKEY: Haha! (Get me the fuck outta here.)

Photos: Fame


  1. Sugar

    She really has the face of a mentally ill person now. Nice tree trunk legs. I haven’t seen her with her kids in a long time but I don’t keep up with Shitney cuz I can’t stand her.

    • Britney, you are looking great in those short-shorts.

      I’m always amazed at how well you’re able to shift yourself to blend in with everyday people during the day and transform yourself into a red carpet godess in the evening.

      You’re a favorite who can always hit me baby one more time!


      • Randal,
        It is to fucking early to get the big bucket of gay bullshit you spew. Can you go back and curl up in your mommas lap until it time for lunch.


      • Jdizzle


        Please do us all a favor. Swallow a gallon bleach and throw yourself into oncoming traffic.


      • J Holmes


      • Probably stating the obvious here, but you guys do realize this isn’t the real Randal, right? It’s just a lame troll who hijacked Randal’s name.

        Fish, how do I reply to a reply to a reply? Cos I wanted to reply to Jimbo/Jdizzle, who replied to “Randal”, who replied to Sugar, and somewhere in between the replying stopped.

        Ok, reply is now a funny word ;)

    • It

      Randal, what is an everyday person? Certainly not you ya dumb fag.

  2. Jackholeasshat

    Well, thank Jeebus she is wearing a brasier!

  3. Brit Brit’s nipples have once again escaped her father’s uptight bra management efforts.
    Bravo Brit Brit! It’s hot out; time to let out the twins for playtime.

  4. Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    i still would like to see her take some cock

  5. Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    turkey’s done!!!

  6. pimp

    i want to feast on her uncleaned asshole…

  7. joho777
    Commented on this photo:

    I live near Calabasas, and the Marmelarde Cafe serve overpriced pretentious crap. If Britney wanted to taste her food, she should have gone into La Salsa instead.

    At least her bodyguards are still making sure her vulva are tucked in before she leaves the house. Everyone really appreciates that.

  8. Elena
    Commented on this photo:

    Her fist are all clinched.

  9. Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    i still think she’s hot, i would do her day and night

  10. elvis2
    Commented on this photo:


  11. mike
    Commented on this photo:

    her legs ae muscular than mine…..ROID-RAGE

  12. missywissy
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks good, like she’s been taking care of herself. nice to see. : )

  13. Commented on this photo:

    Yeah… ‘d still hit it.

  14. Christina Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    The papz need more flattering lenses.

  15. Sarah

    I’m surprised I’m the first to mention her obvious mustache in this picture…

    • L

      Whoa! I just noticed that! It almost looks like it was drawn on with black marker and then wiped off. Or maybe she has a moustache now? She looks like she is going into Crazy Britney mode.

  16. Commented on this photo:

    As I always say: if you de-britnify your brain for a second and look at her in a “hey, check out that piece o’ ass in the ruby tank top and the bleach-stained shortshorts over there” way, she’s still highly, highly doable.
    Case in point; this pic.
    Fellow heteros, tell me you would turn this down if it came at you on a parking lot -no previous knowledge, no names asked, no blunt object in her hand, no frappuccino in yours- now, would you?

  17. Marcella

    Wow, thats not even funny dude. You’re just fucking stupid.

  18. Richport's Ghost
    Commented on this photo:

    Who stuffed Porky Pig into a red tank top?

  19. I can never understand how she goes from looking like this to in shape in 2 weeks like in the past. But you can tell the slurpees are taking a long term toll.

  20. KP Boobies

    I’ll have to wear 3 condoms, but…. BRING IT ON!

  21. cheryl
    Commented on this photo:

    Britney looks seriously retarded. What is her problem? Does she ever do anything besides hang out & spend money? What a waste, she is.Thank God, Kevin got custody.

  22. dodie
    Commented on this photo:

    ya know, Britney lost her mind, had a nervous breakdown, & was on some serious drugs & booze. never really heard if she got any help, so it’s doubtful. She looks ill, & is probably ready to crack again.

  23. S

    i really dont understand. she’s one of the wealthiest entertainers in the world, always walks out looking like a sweaty nutsack. why cant she hire a stylist?

    • Possible answers:
      Stylist(s) quit…unable to deal with Spears circus lifestyle
      Brit Brit just doesn’t care (this is a girl who walks barefoot into gas station toilets)
      Rebellion against father’s control of life
      Discouragement of photographers (sleeping with papparazzi didn’t work out so well for Brit Brit)

  24. Roger Moore
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still like to have loads of sex with B. Spears. Is that wrong?

  25. Roger Moore
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s holding an invisible popsickle.

  26. Stevie Ray

    Quick boys…she’s making a fist….hide your umbrellas!

  27. anon
    Commented on this photo:

    Aside from her funky legs…
    she’s looking pretty normal. Wait, is normal for her crazy?

  28. Barnyard Animal

    She actually looks pretty in all of these pictures, except for the cover shot.

  29. Alex
    Commented on this photo:


  30. captain america

    pssssssssst: THE SHRINK WAS MISSING TODAY……………………

  31. Vicki

    Wow… I actually kind of feel bad for her. Britney is constantly being followed around and is constantly told how horribly fat and ugly she is, when clearly she really isn’t. It must be really difficult for someone to have to go through constant criticism and absolutely no privacy. She’s not even doing anything to anyone… people are just merely picking on her for the fuck of it.

    It’s really sad.

    I used to love this site until it started to become what it is today: partially soft-core porn pictures, partially mundane posts such as these, and the rest of it is pretty much about fake celebrities like people from Jersey Shore.

    This is just the internet, so this post really means nothing at all. I just think its horrible that Britney is treated so poorly, just because she is a famous person. I would not wish her fate to anyone. :(

  32. MeLcHoR
    Commented on this photo:

    The Mickey and Britney dialogue was epic! Now to the pictures… still very MILF to me.

  33. hiya
    Commented on this photo:

    poor bitch, she must be pissed off that paparazzos follow her around 24/7… But then again, she likes the money she earned by exposing herself to the whole planet so, who s the real jerk here ?? LOL::: Britney this is what you wanted, be famous ! be a “start” being followed around, why do you complain now ? you don t like it anymore ?? LOL; you re fucked sweetheart, the only way to escape to this, is moving to saudi arabia, or kill yourself… Is not like you re a important person anyway ! you re fucked up in the head and can t even take care of yourself and your sons you certainly are a good source of income to your family, maybe that s why they keep you alive….. Have a nice day ! LOL bipolar bitch

  34. Darth

    I think she feels bad because she didn’t send me a present yet? I forgive you Britney spears! It’s never too late!

  35. Rhialto

    I guess her $25 bucks a week pocket money raise didn’t get through!?

  36. Galtacticus

    What’s wrong with this girl? She’s living the highly desired dream but…?

  37. Nero

    Britney Spears,would you like to have an awesome life?!

    ☞ Nero ☜

  38. Gando

    Does she like multiple orgasmes?! Passing out from pleasure? Just curious.

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