I Guess We’re Looking At Melissa Riso’s Boobs Now

Here we have Melissa Riso pulling off that “you’re buying the appletinis” look that she’s so well known for. I think I have a slice of pizza in my fridge that’s wearing the same tinfoil wrap that she has on in these pictures. However irrelevant her celebrity status may be, I’m going to give Melissa her own post today because goddammit, this is America’s almost birthday.

In the spirit of America we’re going to be doing this for the rest of the afternoon because patriotism is very important to us over here at The Superficial and the only thing balder than our eagles are our receding hairlines.