When the “I Give God 10% Why Do You Get 18″ for a tip receipt start floating around the Internet a few days ago, I completely wrote it off as another way too good to be true fake. Even though I know from personal experience there is absolutely no worse table to wait on than the after-church crowd at Applebee’s (If these people ever get gunned down by an assault rifle, me and my NPR tote will join the NRA so fast their shot-off toes will spin.) it was just too perfect of an encapsulation of how deeply shitty these people are. Life is not that awesome. Turns out, The Smoking Gun discovered it’s not only legit, but the pastor who left it, 37-year-old Alois Bell of St. Louis, got a server fired for posting it to Reddit and now feels sorry for the whole thing because it’s all over the Internet. Or a “lapse in judgment that has been blown out of proportion,” as she calls it because I’m sure she’s never done this sort of thing before. Then again, how do we know the devil wasn’t hiding in her riblet basket whispering “Stiff your waitress, stiff your waitress in the most sanctimonious way possible,” in his serpent tongue? GET THEE BEHIND ME, TATER SKINS, I MEAN SATAN!