Hulk Hogan Doesn’t Want To Be Reincarnated As A Black Guy Now
With all the excitement it’s easy to forget that Hulk Hogan fired two children out of his giant Thermos-like penis because he’s constantly trying to bang one of them (In fairness, her poems, are asking for it.) while the other one is a nobody who by all rights should’ve Paul Walker’d out instead of leaving a Marine with a hole in his head. Anyway, while the nobody was in prison, Hulk became very concerned with the two of them being reincarnated into black guys because let Hulkamania tell you something: If they’re not having sex with your daughter even after you specifically told your buddy’s wife you’re fucking that you don’t want that because you’re a racist, they’re turning you and your son into them in the afterlife. Which is why Hulkamania fully endorses Trump 2016, brotha! White in every life! Radar reports:
At that point, Hogan used the limited visiting time to tell Nick — in coded language pro wrestlers often speak in, referred to as “carny” — that he hoped they wouldn’t be reincarnated as black people.
Hogan said, “You know that God gave you this vibe and this, this, energy that you and I are going to live forever, bro — I just hope we don’t come back as a couple, I don’t want to say it — blizz-ack gizz-uys (carny for “black guys”) — you know what I’m saying?”
Surprisingly, Hulk was also concerned about his son being around blacks in the present which is also where they get you. They’re everywhere.
The raced-obsessed Hogan, referring to his ex-wife Linda, said, “Your mom went there and said it was mainly blizz (carny for “black”), you know what I’m sizz-aying (carny for “saying”)? And that some of the ladies there that, you know, run the school are nice blizz lizz-adies (carny for “black ladies”), you know?”
Nick then boasted, he “would make friends with all those kids down there … because you know how all the blizz pizz (carny for “black people”) love us.”
When asked if they do in fact love the Hogans, the nearest blizz pizz I could find said, “The fuck you just call me, stick man?!” and I’m writing this to you from the afterlife. Where I’m pretty sure I’m still white. *looks at tiny dick* Yup, white. Very, very white.