Because what’s one post about a blow to the groin without another? Hugh Hefner has made his most prominent display of senility by proposing to his 24-year-old girlfriend Crystal Harris on Christmas, according to E! News:
Hef tweeted, “When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory.”
Not long after, the world’s most famous bachelor cleared up any questions about the ring by tweeting, “Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring. I didn’t mean to make a mystery out of it. A very merry Christmas to all.”
Harris hasn’t exactly tweeted about the engagement, but did post this morning, “Hef and I are TRENDING on @twitter!!!! WOW!!!”
Personally, I prefer to leave a crumpled up pile of bills on the nightstand, but I guess you can “marry” them, too. It’s your money.
Photos: Splash News
Insert 100 comments/jokes about her only wanting all of his money when he dies because everyone here will think they’re a genius for saying it.
But honestly, she couldn’t enjoy putting that thing inside her mouth.
He’s already, OR his daughter has implemented an iron-clad pre-nup, that’s for sure.
honestly if i was her id find a hot sugar daddy at least ! come on Crystal!
FIRST!
SLUT!
FAIL.
when i saw his name in the news i thot for sure he’d croaked lol. nice one heff do her one for me~
if it makes you feel better .singer Tina marie just died at 54.
nah i had neither in my pool. but i may add heff now. somehow i see him going out with a bang
Holly just committed suicide..Film at 11..
Word. That was my first thought. Some where out there Holly Madison just shit her little bo-peep pants. man, she’s gotta feel bad.
Girl’s got a helluva muffin-top going in picture #6.
Fools.
Best part is the girl with the stretch marks, muffin top and cheap American Eagle jeans isn’t even her. Take a closer look, Harris is the onlooker dressed in navy in the background.
those are hollister. get it right!
But seriously, girls like this must have lower self esteem than Roseanne Barr. Plus you think she REALLY enjoys rimming him?
Five years from now this chick will be banging some black dude in front of a video camera.
“Mom, my dreams have come true. I’m finally marrying a rich old melted guy!”
I guess sucking on old wrinkled up mummified cock doesn’t bother her as long as she’s being “compensated” for it. Hell IF he does manage to even cum on their wedding night it’ll probably be a tiny flag that says “BANG!!” on it.
Holly Madison must feel like pure 100% uncut SHIT right about now. ALL those years she played with and sucked on piss and vinegar flavored 500 year old shriviled up balls and he NEVER even asked her.
The ‘bang flag’ visual is hilarious! And Holly isn’t the only one…
actually he said he always wanted to marry holly but they couldn’t agree on children. holly wanted kids and hef didn’t. it’s was a non-negotiable for both sides so he didn’t marry holly.
this chick isn’t trying to have his babies. she knows he’s got maybe another year or two.
I think if he managed to cum it would just be a puff of smoke.
lol at “puff of smoke.” I can’t stop laughing
LMFAO.
She probably said “I’m not fucking you unless you marry me” and he figured he’s only got another 20 minutes or so left to live and negotiating would eat up too much time. So hey, why the fuck not.
And doing it for the money? Of course…and so what? only poor and ugly people have fair motivations?
Hugh is a sweety and hardly asks for anything, just an occasional blowjob during a diaper change, that’s it.
“Come here post haste, you big sexy creamcicle!”
During sex he declares: “I’m Just In Beaver!”.
I think I’d burst into tears too if I was going to marry that.
Do you like anal? Good, because my hemorrhoids can only be treated with suppositories. Let’s get to work, you young filly, you!
A lot of marriages are arrangements like the arrangement we assume will be the case between Hef and MS Harris. They just aren’t as transparent and obvious. It’s hard for me to imagine that Hef and Harris aren’t conscious of their relationship being an arrangement where an old fart gets to have sex with a young hottie while the young hottie gets to rise to a financial level she probably otherwise couldn’t, the parties in many similar arrangements (there needn’t be an age differential for there to be similarity) may be totally self-deceived about what is really going on.
Actually they ALL are… Both parties are just usually to stupid to realize it.
Heff ever heard of something called a brunette?
Yeah, it’s what happens when she lets her Brazilian grow out.
haha.
She is a brunette, thats just bleach
Oh man is Holly going to be pissed!
Sitting there with a bucket of money on her lap, a diamond Playboy bunny necklace around her neck, and she’s marrying that old fuck. I’d say that about sums this bitch up in a nutshell.
No shit. Some people spend their whole lives trying to find themselves. This golddigger got it captured in a single 8×10 glossy.
Barbie Benton was his main squeeze in the late ’60s & early ’70s.
http://www.celebs-sex-scenes.com/s1/barbie-benton/barbie-benton-011.jpg
Publicity for a flagging magazine. Really Hef…
If you wanna win back the love of the populace, stop dating or marrying them and just give one away to the public. Pretty sure the “Win a Crystal Harris for a year” promo will be a hit.
she’s the senile one. hef’s got a 24-year-old slice of pie.
Just the thought of having sex with him makes me ill.
Hef is a nasty pervert that has been agrandized by our degenerate society. Actually the media has engendered the fall. All of it has been planned long ago.
Enjoy your poverty dems and repubs (collection of ignorant morons).
You are the Chosen One…the Grand Panjandrum…the Grand Poobah! You are the only one out of this mass of ignorant posters who was able to divine, intuit, and translate the political conspiracy encoded in this story about an old man and a super-hot chick.
Your wisdom and perception are amazing and stultifying. Thank the gods the prophecy came true, and now, at this most exalted season of the year. Thank you again for your incredible insight into humanity, Obi Wan…
Fucking moron!
“Hef is a nasty pervert that has been agrandized by our degenerate society.”
I agree with that part of your post anyway. He is gross, and has been for at least 30 years. Then again, the women he’s dated over the past 30 years are equally as disgusting.
whores love each others company.
She’s a lot better looking than Holly. Bitch looked like Gumby!
Never seen anybody so proud to catch a prostitute. Not that hard to do Hugh.
Bingo for the Fiancee, is it me or does she look a lot like his first and only wife Kim Conrad (Had to double check), something about her eyes and face and body, even the way she stands smacks of Kimberley Conrad, this new girl is just a littke stringier.
Mildred Williams was his first wife. Married in 1949, divorced in 1959.
I hope she lets him poop on her chest. It took my wife 17 years to let me drop a Cleveland steamer
Ummm…love to drop one in your mouth.
What a complete waste of time. Hef I am disappointed in you. Always thought you were the coolest guy around.
You know whats the difference between me and you? I see this woman as the future economic czar of ( if Bama doesnt drop the ball) our country, you may see her as something else….
that girl is NOT 24, i’ll tell you that. she probably has been lying and im sure hef uncovered her real age, but they want to advertise it as low. she looks 34, not 24.
Yeah she doesn’t look 24
She actually looks really good in this photo, but in every other photo she’s not great-looking.
If you were 84 and you could, you’d bang every nursing major in Southern California too.
got to get a little dirty when your digging for gold
Hef is taking too much Viagra. Why marry this little blonde hustler?
It’s like Russian Roulette with these old dudes. Last one married to him when he croaks, wins. But until then… Old man jizz. Ewww.
I bet it’s more like old man dust.
The joke is on her–Hef has been bleeding money for years. When was the last time any of you spent money on a Playboy?
Hef hasn’t been running Playboy for over 20 years. You’re not big on keeping up with current events, are you?
That being said, Playboy has indeed been going downhill for a long time…about 20 years, after his daughter took over. Having a woman in charge of a nudie mag has given us such gems as chicks posing NOT nude, and cartoon character centerfolds (also not nude).
old enough to be her great grandpa. 60 year age difference!
picture #3 sums it all up. i.e she’s a gold digger…. and that bucket of money is all she will be left with when he dies.
She was younger when “Schindler’s List” came out, than he was when Schindler’s actual list came out.
“So all I gotta do is touch this old guys wiener for a year or two until he croaks and I get this???
Done and Done.
Hef is so old, he cums dust. Love the Bang visual.
She’s beautiful. I’d fuck her. Hell, I’d probably marry her. But…
HEF…ENOUGH ALREADY! You’re becoming a sad characture of yourself and the lifestyle you have promoted and espoused over the last 57 years.
Have all the chicks you want — like you have had over the last half-century. But you don’t need to prove anything to the rest of us. You don’t need to brag. You don’t even need to appear in every single issue of PLAYBOY. We know you are “the Man” and have been for a long time. It’s time to just fade away…
Buh-bye now!
becoming a sad carictiture?…he has been that way for many, many years, the guy is a perverted douchebag and a sad dirty old Man.
Really?
This is all the news tonight?
This is just an embarrassment for all the guys who followed the “Playboy Philosophy” all those years.
DO the kids from his first marriage have to call her “mom”?
DO THEIR kids have to call her grandma?
When I think of Hugh Hefner, I think of how he put Marilyn Monroe on the first cover of his then – exploitative, predatory, using females as objects magazine, also called Playboy.
And then what happened to Marilyn Monroe…
It was not in Marilyn Monroe’s best interest to be on that cover. Ms. Monroe already had massive national attention already.
And how Hefner talked that motherless, fatherless, insecure, giant-hearted starlet Monroe to be the sacrificial lamb for his own greed and notoriety is only known to him.
Ms. Monroe had to live that cover down for the rest of her shortened life.
At least Hefner is getting married, and not parading around with a harem of ex-stripper Kendras anymore.
That’s somewhat more gentlemanly.
When I think of Hugh Hefner, I think of how he put Marilyn Monroe on the first cover of his then – exploitative, predatory, using females as objects magazine, also called Playboy.
And then what happened to Marilyn Monroe…
It was not in Marilyn Monroe’s best interest to be on that cover. Ms. Monroe already had massive national attention already.
And how Hefner talked that motherless, fatherless, insecure, giant-hearted starlet Monroe to be the sacrificial lamb for his own greed and notoriety is only known to him.
Ms. Monroe had to live that cover down for the rest of her shortened life.
At least Hefner is getting married, and not parading around with a harem of ex-stripper Kendras anymore.
That’s somewhat more gentlemanly.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
isn’t he dead yet???????
That crazy old geezer better bar the doors to the mansion, up the security and check to make sure his two sons are safe. When Holly Madison gets a chance to let all this digest, she’s gonna go full, blown, Glenn Close – Fatal Attraction on Hef’s ass! You know that Holly BELIEVES that should be HER marrying Hef. Hide ALL the Playboy Bunnies, ’cause somethin’ tells me Holly’s gonna want to do some bunny boiling! It’s wabbit season!
haha that is EXactly what I thought
it’s his granddaughter……………………BUT THAT’S O.K.!!
he can still bang all the playboy bunnies right?
If you were to paint Hef purple,he’d resemble one of those lovable California raisins. I forget which one.