Honey Boo Boo Endorsed Obama. Goddammit…

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2012

Because apparently Octomom’s endorsement wasn’t enough (Goddamn, gun-toting single moms), Honey Boo Boo endorsed Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Monday night. So if you were giddy about last night’s debate performance, knock that shit off and prepare thy magical underloons for the reign of your new Mormon overlord and also make sure dinner’s on the table by five, you menstrauting quims. Via The LA Times:

He brought up the subject of Romney’s recent appearance on “Live! With Michael and Kelly,” where the Republican expressed his preference for Snooki over Honey Boo Boo. Although Alana was unaware of Romney’s taste in reality television — or indeed, of Romney at all — Kimmel asked who she would be supporting this year.
“Marack Obama,” she replied.

Except its get even worse, because The LA Times goes on to out Honey Boo Boo as a gay mafia sleeper agent:

For the record, this isn’t the first time Alana’s expressed some left-of-center opinions. She endeared herself to gay fans of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” when she said that “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ a little gay” and with her cross-dressing male pig, Glitzy, who wears nail polish and a tiara — not that he has much say in the matter.

Dammit, well, that cat’s out of the bag, so here’s the deal: A bunch of us liberals got together over arugula lattes and tried to come up with ways to gayjamify the south and eventually came up with Honey Boo Boo, an adorable little pig-child who squirts diabetic glee out of every pore. Together with her proudly ignorant, obligatorily racist family of walrus-people, her simple-minded antics would incrementally push a pro-gay agenda into America’s most retarded and backwoods living rooms. Except now that everyone knows, we have to put her down early instead of when it looks like the corn syrup markets are about to bubble. So on to Plan B: Jon Hamm‘s Jug Band Jamboree Christmas Album featuring such hits as “When Baby Jesus Is Sleeping, It’s Okay To Take A Look” and “All I Want For Christmas Is To Maybe Touch It Out By The Shed Without Being Judged By My Relatives.” Available where fine country music is sold.

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