Apparently it’s Random Celebrities in Swimwear Week, because here’s Hilary Swank vacationing in Hawaii yesterday which I honestly would’ve never predicted if someone gave me a Ouija board and made me spend the night in an Indian graveyard.
INDIAN GHOST: OooOooOOooh! Hilary Swank will be in a bikini tomorrow.
ME: Ha! Good one. Now are you going to bring this hooker back to life or are we just spinning tires here?
INDIAN GHOST: My bad.
Photos: Pacific Coast News
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wtf? | August 13, 2010 at 10:58 am
I thought she died in that boxer movie? Looks hot though, for a zombie….
CARLO | August 30, 2010 at 11:28 am
It’s funny I am not surprised at all by these pics though I am please my hunch was right. She always seemed to have a rockin body hidden under terrible wardrobe. You can barely see how rockin this girl is. I’ll be she gets more offers just from these pics alone. Here’s one…Hillary can you come sit on my face for a day or 2?
dudeatdudedotdude | August 13, 2010 at 10:59 am
whoa niiiice. she looked like my first girlfriend in karate kid 3. doesnt always look good in photos now but dayum..rockin that bikini!! too bad no ass shot, id love to see how that dumper’s holdin up :D
Photoshop Police | August 13, 2010 at 11:06 am
Is she auditioning for the next Terminator movie?
Nickman | August 13, 2010 at 11:08 am
I would destroy that.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 13, 2010 at 11:15 am
pretty sure id pummel it too
They Call Me The Butthole Kid | August 13, 2010 at 11:15 am
Not bad for an old, horse-mouthed loser.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 13, 2010 at 11:17 am
what you fuckin moron she has two oscars
They Call Me The Butthole Kid | August 13, 2010 at 11:24 am
What’s your point? Ben Affleck has an Oscar. This bitch is a loser. She has only been in like three good movies. She’s won Oscars for two of those. In other words, She does a good movie, wins an Oscar, and then for ten years stars in absolute shit. Then she does a good movie and gets another Oscar. Now she is back in that ten years of shit stage.
lady jesus | August 13, 2010 at 11:25 am
HOLY SHIT!!!! Watch out, Hilary!!! A dude posting under a clever Butthole Kid moniker just called you a loser!!!! You better use those millions of dollars to wipe your tears.
frisbeeken | August 13, 2010 at 3:25 pm
I’m trying to find something on the net that says she calls herself “The Butthole Kid”. I see stuff about her winning Oscars and making millions of dollars but nothing about “Butthole Kid”. Yep, you got her on this one !
RichPort's Gregarious Gay Ghost | August 13, 2010 at 9:56 pm
She’s not old, and any heterosexual male over 13 would probably hit that very, very hard.
However, you make a very compelling observation that one of her ancestors may have indeed been a horse. Doggy, exclusively.
They Call Him the Dumbass Virgin | August 14, 2010 at 6:10 am
To: They Call Me the Butthole Kid
From: The World
Re: Your Post on The Superficial about HIlary Swank
You’re an idiot. She’s fantastic. Any guy would hit that. Even gay guys. Cause she is fine. Plus, she is a tremendous actress. So how about doing us a favour and shutting your pie hole already?
Phillip | August 15, 2010 at 11:37 pm
you’re right, @They Call Him Dumbass Virgin — gay guys would absolutely hit that. Because (talent aside) she looks like a dude.
JoeC | August 13, 2010 at 11:25 am
Not bad at all. A tan and a boob job wouldn’t kill her, but she’s very fuckable.
Betterthanlasttime | August 13, 2010 at 11:26 am
Didn’t she look really nasty in a bikini not that long ago? Maybe that was another horse-faced aging star. Regardless, she is looking good in one these days. Bravo Skank!
Sugar | August 13, 2010 at 11:31 am
She’s a skank? Did she homewreck or something? I think I heard that she did.
Betterthanlasttime | August 13, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Oh no, that was a not so clever play on her last name! :)
dudeatdudedotdude | August 13, 2010 at 11:29 am
you’re still talking out of your ass. what makes a good movie is very subjective. when you have won the highest recognition in your career–twice–that’s winner winner chicken dinner. what the fuck have you done?
dudeatdudedotdude | August 13, 2010 at 11:30 am
that was for The Bottom Kid
They Call Me The Butthole Kid | August 13, 2010 at 11:35 am
Well I sure as hell don’t stay on The Superficial all day like your loser ass. Do you have a life? You make about 10 comments on every topic. How old are you? I am 14, so its understandable that I don’t have much going on (it’s summer after all). As for you, I get the feeling you are some chubby middle-aged balding loser.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 13, 2010 at 11:42 am
actually i earn seven figures a year keeping a good part of the internet up. and cos i do it well i have enough down time to play. you’re not far off on my age, but im neither fat nor balding. i’m hot :D
meanwhile you act 14 so i’ll cut you a break.
Jen | August 13, 2010 at 11:49 am
shut up!
RichPort's Gregarious Gay Ghost | August 13, 2010 at 9:51 pm
You are not 14. As a liar, you suck balls. Practice, practice, practice!
Sugar | August 13, 2010 at 11:30 am
That is a great body!
Hank E Ring | August 13, 2010 at 11:33 am
Smokin’ hot bod for sure.
FrankNfrtr | August 13, 2010 at 11:42 am
No tattoos or messed up lipo scarring on this tight little package. YES!
She is a great actress who’s somewhat horsey androgenous look has kept her from the highest pinacle of Hollywood $$. But she does have those matching best performance Oscars for the mantlepiece….she ain’t no loser.
stranger | August 13, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Her body is perfect. It’s just her face that’s all messed up. I would still bang her though, just with a brown paper bag on her head.
Arrow | August 14, 2010 at 11:36 am
Agreed. No one should be shocked by her body. It’s always been great. It’s just that darn face that you can’t tone or exercise off. She’s done what she can with what she’s got, and she’s done that well, but that face, ahh.
Ann | August 15, 2010 at 1:36 am
That’s ok. She’d probably have to doublebag you.
Viv | August 13, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Hola buenos dias a todos! Soy mexicana y vengo de visita a The Superficial todos los dias.
Good thing no passport is needed here, I can come here as often as I please. From what I hear in the news mexicans are having a tough time in Arizona right now.
Hillary looks great, she takes a 10 year vacation between Oscar winning movies? and she has millions? who wouldn’t want a job like that?
Mongo | August 13, 2010 at 10:13 pm
The law never even took effect how would they have a hard time?
Talk about corrupt media.
Mr. Nice Guy | August 14, 2010 at 5:31 pm
No passport needed here, now don’t bring politics here please.
Visit Huffington Post or Salon for that shit.
Sandy | August 13, 2010 at 12:13 pm
She’s the best option available for guys who have finally drummed up the courage to stick their toes in the hot steamy waters of homosexuality. Next step: same face, same voice, same musculature, slightly smaller chest, and a penis. The boyfriend of your hidden fantasies.
Drew | August 13, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Bangin’ body. I never thought her face was awful. Seems like a cool, confident chick who doesn’t live for booze, tats and headlines. Bravo, Hilary.
But who’s the hairy, doughy bookworm with her?
Dutch | August 13, 2010 at 12:23 pm
I’m wondering the same thing, is that her dad or just the typical older boyfriend/partner with more money than god?
Her body is insane, super cut and defined and still has a decent (o)(o).
Mr. Ed | August 13, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Wilbur! I told you not to put that bikini on me while I was sleeping! Now take it off!
Viv | August 13, 2010 at 12:42 pm
spammers = pest
whosbeenknocking | August 13, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I wouldn’t throw her out of bed for eating crackers.
Rough, the new blaq | August 13, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Not bad, shes trying. but can she work a man like a summer job? As long as she doesn’t bite my big apples with those teeth I am game….
Just A Horny Dude | August 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Very nice looking broad. Who knows if she’s good in bed. I’m guessing she’s average. But she would be fun to bang a few times. Fo’ sure!
pick our crops, wetback | August 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm
“From what I hear in the news mexicans are having a tough time in Arizona right now.”
Only the ones in the country illegally. They’re being caught and prosecuted just like illegal residents in every country on the planet.
Mr. Nice Guy | August 14, 2010 at 5:28 pm
This is not the site for that shit. Go away.
FYI I am a white guy living in Orange County who served in the U.S. Army.
zena | August 13, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Hillary and jessica biel could pass for sisters. Nice bodies but not so pretty faces.
frisbeeken | August 13, 2010 at 3:26 pm
I think she’s hot. Nice body ! Def. do-able !
Deacon Jones | August 13, 2010 at 5:52 pm
I guarantee she puts a strap-on on and butt fucks her husband to Metallica.
Cock Dr | August 13, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Good lord DJ. LOL
Pseudopodia | August 14, 2010 at 2:10 am
Since there’s buttfucking — it’s probably Megadeth.
Deacon Jones | August 16, 2010 at 8:57 am
I’ll give you that
Jack Mehoff | August 13, 2010 at 6:19 pm
I want to lick her cornhole.
Jizztits | August 13, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Her tits used to be much bigger. This makes me want to cry and wank.
elephantman | August 13, 2010 at 7:05 pm
she looked better with that dildo strapped on! her TEETH! OMG! HORSE FACE!
sumdumfuk | August 13, 2010 at 7:26 pm
Sorry, she is damn hot. Period.
Thickpubichair | August 13, 2010 at 7:50 pm
That is a nice little tight body and she does have a thick bush down there.
Jonny Topside | August 13, 2010 at 8:57 pm
Steve Sanders used to rail that in the mens room of the peach pit while Nat jerked off in the next stall.
Marcus | August 14, 2010 at 1:26 am
I remember that episode…
galtor | August 13, 2010 at 10:12 pm
Remember 20 years ago, this is what most women used to look like. Now, they all look like Rosie O’Donnell and we all supposed to pretend they look skinny.
princesskitty | August 15, 2010 at 5:00 am
i know and they tell the skinny women “you are too skinny, you need to eat more.” they tell this to me, for example, and i wear maybe size 6 at the least if the clothing is cut kind of big…basically, i am a size large in every other country except america, lol. i brought jeans from brazil here and americans think they are for children
Perez Hilton Has AIDS | August 14, 2010 at 12:09 am
Wow. I had no idea she was that hot. Damn, I’d go down on her.
I’d probably even lick her butthole.
captain america | August 14, 2010 at 12:13 am
well, SHE HAS A SUPERB BODY FOR A SLUT, folks!!
Mr. Nice Guy | August 14, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Sounds like the Perfect Women.
jami | August 14, 2010 at 12:41 am
wow, mad props. she has a great bod.
RasputinsLiver | August 14, 2010 at 11:34 am
Hilary Swank…
…has a very swanky, fappable, porkable chassis, man.
Very swanky indeed.
TrouserTrout | August 14, 2010 at 11:49 am
This chick body and face are built for porn. Man I would love to see her take a massive facial on that mug.
LJ | August 14, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Those legs would fit nicely around my head.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 16, 2010 at 1:14 pm
and my waist
lol | August 15, 2010 at 11:17 am
what a banging little body. tight little babe.
angeluisa | August 15, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Wow! Hot sexy Hillary. love her body….i idolized her for being such good actress. Go hillary. love you.
http://snowboardsreviews.com
captainncy | August 16, 2010 at 9:30 am
she is hard and hot. Here is my weird fantasy: I come home to my wife hillary, just finishing up a set of squats with more weight than most guys use and a set of crunches. Her abs are tight and glistening from sweat. I joke that “you might soon be stronger tham me”. She laughs, turning into a smirk, saying “MIGHT…what might?” I say “Come on, you are looking amazing and I don’t mean to put you down – but you are still just a girl…” She just laughs again. Then she asks me to punch her in the stomach – betting that it won’t hurt. The kicker is that she gets to hit me next. I hem and haw but eventually give her a little shot. She slightly winces but then just grins. My hand felt like it hit a wall. Then she walks up to me, fist clenched… I start to panic. She fakes a punch but holds back, saying “aww don’t worry big guy, i’ll take you down the old fashioned way”. Next I know she’s used some jujitsu move she learned on a movie, sweeps my leg and is straddling me on the floor. Her boobs are heaving, right near my face and her chiseled abs are glistening. Involuntarily, I am now standing at attention. She notices. She says “I see my strength turns you on”. Well, not so fast big guy. I need to prove that I can not only kick your ass – but I am the one in total charge. I laugh and tell her that the judo move was a fluke. Next I think know – like lightning, her thighs have come up and are straddling my head. Now her ankles are locked and she starts to squeeze – like that woman in the james bond movie once. Her thighs explode in rippling muscle and my head and neck suddenly feel clamped in a vice. I put my hands on her thighs to pull them apart but – that is a joke. I can’t budge them. I start to panic – the pressure is enormous. She eases up just a bit and grins slyly. Next thing i know, still clamped in her legs, she is using her abductor muscles to bring my head close to her bikini. She pulls the bikini aside and basically forces me to go down on her – a wet, hard, juicy ball of horny energy. After she is done, still having me locked in her thighs – she sits back up and, straddling me, tells me that she is gooing to FORCE me to enjoy a handjob, and that there is nothing I can do about it.
There it is, my weird, hot hillary fantasy. You can sub in Jessica Biel or any other hollywood hardbody with legs stronger than mine. Hope someone out there enjoyed.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 16, 2010 at 1:12 pm
68th
dudeatdudedotdude | August 16, 2010 at 1:13 pm
…aaaand 69th!
Tina | August 17, 2010 at 2:54 pm
She looks great! (Much better than usual.)