Hey, Look, It’s Beyonce After She Had That Baby

February 7th, 2012 // 79 Comments
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Depending on what school of thought you belong to, Beyonce either naturally birthed a baby girl a month ago or paid a surrogate to birth one and then disposed of the body in a vat of Gwyneth Paltrow‘s free-range jambalaya, so these pics of Beyonce last night looking pretty much like how Beyonce’s always looked “pregnant” or not-pregnant are going to mean different things to different people. The important thing is that we all agree her bodyguard team is now a lethal combination of Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Black Snooki. There’s no way that’s legal.

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

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  1. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    ohonore
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, come on. This is not what she always looks like- she gained a LOT of weight. Look at her midsection, legs, boobs, neck, face, and upper arms! I definitely think she was pregnant. No way a body-obsessed celebrity like her would just gain that much weight for funsies.

  2. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a dairy farmer out there with a switch, muttering, “I’m a-gonna beat the white off of all you bitches.”

  3. ohonore

    How can you say that’s exactly how she always looks when there’s pictures of her pre-baby body at the bottom of the post? She either had a baby, or got fat. That’s definitely fat for Beyonce- and I just don’t think a narcissist like her would gain THAT much weight just to convince us.

    • Tikki

      I do!! She is a media whore and her image is everything to her. Am I crazy or is she bigger now than when she was supposedly prgnant. Looks like a wonder bra and hip pads. This chick is sick!

  4. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks stuffed. lol

    • Alicia W

      I think Beyonce looks good. Some of us wished we looked that good after having a baby. Let’s build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

  5. WhiteChick

    I found out first hand how hard it is to lose baby weight recently. Give her four months, if she’s still fat, then she can be called a cow…

    • Frank Burns

      I didn’t know Jessica Simpson posted here.

      • Clarence Beeks

        Frank Burns, I have never had a baby (I am a woman), but unless you can, you need to STFU about pregnancy weight. You have no idea what you are talking about.

        thanks.

      • Schmidtler

        I’m not going to bother waiting four months, I’m calling her a cow right now!
        idk who women think they’re fooling calling it ‘baby fat’. The baby has the baby fat, and the baby dropped out of her noonerhole weeks ago. Beyonce’s fat is Beyonce’s fat. Is she gestating more fetuses in her ass or something?

  6. I think she looks great – I’d be worried if she was a stick again so soon after the birth. Let her lose weight at a healthy pace, people!

  7. Cock Dr

    Oh yeah, she had a baby. No doubt about it.
    There are foundation garments under that dress, and they are made of space age materials.

  8. cc

    Jessica and Beyonce are going to have a titoff. Kind of like the SuperBowl of lactation.

    • Capitalist Pancake

      There are currently planets smaller than what Jessica Simpson hauls around on her chest at the moment. I worry for the Earth’s gravitational pull the way they’re growing.

    • dr

      Jessica will win. Beyonce’s are big, but Jessica looks like her back and torso have three pregnant bellies strapped to them. They’re so big, you could play a game like 3-boob monte and try an guess which one of the mounds has the baby in it and most people would get it wrong.

  9. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    cat
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks so pretty!!!!!!!! =)

  10. bubbla

    Uh. Yeah. that’s definitely a breastfeeding body right thurr. no doubt she had a baby.

  11. cc

    If the guy to her left pursed his lips, he’d disappear altogether. I hope he spent at least some of his in the Special Forces.

  12. vader

    LOL.her head looks really small compared to the size of her body. She’s shaped like a snowman!!

  13. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    HiNote
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fatter without the pregnancy LOL

  14. HiNote

    isn’t it weird how she’s fatter now that she is not pregnant

    • Sliver

      I know, right?

    • me

      thank you! I don’t think she’s fatter. It’s obvious to me, that dress is meant to make her look post-baby fat. Absolutely is pushing her boobs up. Just give it a few weeks and she’ll magically be back to normal. I don’t think she really had a baby. No way.

  15. In all honesty and without any snarky borderline racist crap, can someone explain why she is clearly a beautiful black girl in the upper photos yet her skin tone appears to match Scarlett J in the lower? If I varied to that degree, I would expect curiosity.

    • I was thinking the same thing. Just when I think she’s going the MJ route she turns up with a normal looking skin tone.

    • Deryn

      I’m not debating whether or not she lightens, but the comparison of those two particular sets of photos is unfair: Indoor at night versus outdoor during the day. *Anyone* will look different in those two conditions.

  16. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    HiNote
    Commented on this photo:

    when the fuck did she get this fat?

    she wasn’t this fat during her pregnancy

    • MG78

      Exactly! She probably gained 15 – 20lbs just to maintain the lie.

      • mbjk

        yeah yeah and she supposedly wasn’t pregnant because she didn’t want her body to change. seems legit.

      • Sotru

        not necessarily, it looks like a fat suit cause her head looks abnormally small compared to the rest of her body

      • jojo

        Why do you think that someone will lie of having a pregnancy.And she does look like she gave birth look at her face it looks like more fat was plugged into there.

  17. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she also have a skin-darkening operation while in there?

  18. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot damn. I like it.

  19. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    HiNote
    Commented on this photo:

    i see the real baby mamma

  20. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    HiNote
    Commented on this photo:

    hello real baby momma

  21. Blech

    I think they call this look ‘Rubenesque’.

  22. Deacon Jones

    I’ll bet when the fake weave, penciled eye brows, glued on lashes, pancake makeup are taken off, and that spandex body suit explodes off after the clips are undone……

    it’s a whole other fucking world.

  23. Marie

    First, this is the industry of smoke and mirrors. There are drugs she could’ve taken before and now to give the illusion of being pregnant…just as they do in movies. Second, I still think the audacity and arrogance and insensivity they showed toward other parents at the same hospital was shocking. And the so-called public statement by the hospital to launch a full investigation was complete BS…like most celeb threats to sue for slander. They hid behind the hospital, their money and fame. The status doenst make them better human beings…but tell them that…

    • Doni

      She did not have that stupid baby. Has anyone ever SEEN a pregnant woman? They tend to carry a baby in their uterus, not their ass. Anybody can lactate, just take enough progesterone . She’s awful, her babies name is awful and hiring some woman from a 3rd world country to have your baby is awful.

  24. forrest gump

    I warn you all.
    SHE, including sick jay-z, AREN’T WHAT THEY SEEM!!!

  25. Clarence Beeks

    Her shoulders are HUGE…………..

    • Deryn

      Hey now … I love you, Clarence ma’am, but let’s not start bashing the broad-shouldered girls.

      [rolls shoulders even more forward]

  26. ME

    She’s looking hotter than ever.

  27. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    ComedySilliness
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you kidding? There’s two obvious differences post pregnany.

  28. lily

    not the biggest fan of her figure, but she really looks great.

  29. Jay Z is one lucky bastard. I would love to be raw dogging that everynight.

  30. Bazinga

    Padded bra and ill fitting dress giving illusion of “fullness”. Didn’t she say she was 4 months at the time of announcement…making her due around the same time as Jessica Simpson? Those pics of her “baby bump” in a bikini was a food baby.
    I’m a Beyonce birther and Im calling BULLSHIT!

  31. Mr Obvious

    That’s going to be a very healthy baby. I would love to drive into those boobs all night long.

  32. Vicki

    it was an elaborate ruse, so she could get a boob job.

  33. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    jeffiner
    Commented on this photo:

    i was wondering if i was the only one that noticed. those things are huge.

  34. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    Love
    Commented on this photo:

    @mbjk Maybe she didnt want her pussy to change or her boobs to sag

  35. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    Herman Bumfudle
    Commented on this photo:

    hey beautiful mama!!!

  36. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this one of those “Got Milk?” ads?

  37. jhk

    she didn’t have the baby. The weight is from the prednazone she took to make it look like she was pregnant

  38. dingolo

    for god sake people!! she was f***ng pregnant. here are paparazzi picture of her with a pregnant belly when she was visiting croatia this summer. http://www.index.hr/xmag/clanak/beyonce-stigla-na-hvar-na-nasem-najsuncanijem-otoku-sunca-svoj-goli-trudnicki-trbuscic/570379.aspx

  39. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    Ram Punchington
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she need bodyguards?
    Because she has a strange name? Because she married Crack Urkel?

    I don’t get it.

  40. 640fan

    You are mean-spirited people who have nothing to do but say nasty things about a woman, who because she is in the public eye, is likely struggling with her self image right now and her post baby body. It is uncharitable of you to add to the pressure by making comments that could push her to lose weight at an unhealthy rate or to turn to diet pill dependency. At which point I am sure you would be happy to turn on her for “how stupid she is” for doing so. Clearly your parents never thought you that if you have nothing good to say, you should keep your mouth shut.

  41. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats her cousin Angie, lol

  42. Beyonce Post Baby Body
    paerro
    Commented on this photo:

    you have to be pregnant to be post, okay!!!!!!!
    do you think we are crazy

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