Here’s Why Megan Fox Failed At Twitter

January 11th, 2013 // 43 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

Megan Fox joined Twitter a week ago only to quickly delete her account and head straight to Facebook to decry the ills of social media. Makes perfect sense.

I thought that 2013 might be the year that I finally blossomed into a social networking butterfly… but as it turns out I still hate it.
Love you guys but I will just never be that girl. Facebook is as much as I can handle.

The first world problems of a Megan Fox-type person notwithstanding, let me attempt to break down that stunning piece of digital fart-sniffing and also let Megs know exactly what was expected of ‘that girl’ in terms of Twitter. Creating things, offering your thoughts on subjects, contributing to society in general, these are not the concerns of ‘that girl.’ Those are the burdens of the pale, doughy majority like myself who find that a 140 character expression of my thoughts on fast food or a film I lack the talent and ambition to ever even conceive of is a safe way to interact with society without them looking at me weird. What I’m getting at here is breasts. Less typey wordy, more booby.

Photos: GSI Media, Splash News


  1. EricLr

    Well, she is notoriously shy and reluctant to speak her mind. Just ask Michael Bay.

  2. DeucePickle

    Maybe I’m a computer genius, but I’ve found a way that I can post pictures to my Facebook page. True story.

  3. Megan Fox Bikini
    Praise The Lords
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Carmunch Stewart. Acts about as humble as her too.

  4. Zambonie

    Christ… Is he wearing one of those retarded magnetic healing bracelets? That shits a scam dipshit. Shit.

  5. Beer Baron

    what a pretentious twat.

  6. Homoerectus Maximus

    Nice gap.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Nicotine Lungs

    Every time I’ve banged skinny bitches like her their pussys was so big you could drive a truck in them—or I have a tiny dick?

  8. richie

    twitter sucks

  9. She failed at Twitter the way this site is failing at staying working.

  10. I kinda don’t blame her. My daughter helped me set up a Twitter Account a couple of years ago and I think I’ve tried it twice.

    As far as Megan Fox goes, I’d still eat the peanuts out of her shit…if she’s just dump BAG.

    • Lindsay Lohan Nicotine Lungs

      If you needed help to setup a Twitter account that speaks volumes. I bet Megan’s pussy stinks.

      • Tell me all about Twitter and stinky pussy when you get to my age. I didn’t grow up in the electronic age. When I was a kid we went

      • Tell me all about Twitter and stinky pussy when you grow up.

        BTW, I never said anything about needing help with Twitter. Nor did I make any mention of Megan Fox’s pussy. Shit, yes. Pussy, no! And how does YOUR pussy smell?

        I wasn’t raised in the electronic age. When I was a kid we went outside and actually played REAL sports or swam in the ocean. We didn’t veg in front of a game console or television.

        One more thing, before I forget. SUCK MY DICK!

      • Inmate 12236969

        You posted, “My daughter helped me set up a Twitter Account a couple of years ago” So Lungs is spot on.

        What does your daughter think about you telling people to suck your old wrinkled dick? You probably have to pop a blue pill to get it up. Go outside and play in traffic you dumbfuck!

      • Thanks Inmate never mind that old fuck; he’s just mad because he can’t get hard anymore and I fuck his wife and daughter all the time.

      • I yield! You guys are right. I am old. Old enough that I should have remembered not to tease the animals, especially when they’re eating. Perhaps, with a little luck, you’ll last until you reach my age.

      • Lindsay Lohan Nicotine Lungs

        I was born in the fifties asshole BTW tell your daughter her pussy stinks. You fucking fell for it man!

  11. Billy Bob

    Shut up, Meg.

  12. tlmck

    Do a Google search. She quit Twitter for the massive publicity she received for quitting Twitter. She will reactivate her account to receive massive publicity for reactivating her account.

    • I wonder if that would work, considering no one gave a monkey’s bollock when she gave birth. She stood on a street corner with the swaddled spawn bleating for the paps, and no one showed. Waaah.

  13. Erma Gehrd

    You’d think those monster thumbs would be good at tweeting…

  14. Kimberly

    Even as a girl, I was only into Megan Fox because she was hot and socially awkward. But now I see what you all see. Girl be dumb!

  15. Megan Fox Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Brian Austen Green is one lucky guy to tweet that everyday.

  16. Mama Pinkus

    I cannot imagine an intellect devoid so severe it would preclude mastering TWITTER.

  17. She’s so stupid she can’t even use Twitter. Like Fish said, less talk/type, more boobs.

  18. Megan Fox Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    respect.. twitter IS stupid.

  19. random

    maybe she should try tumblr then. *shrug*

  20. Its amusing to me that this is what people with no social skills do all day. No wonder you sit in front of your computer all day and talk shit, you were all probably bullied as teenagers and this is the only way you can actually voice your opinons. Get a life, shut down your computer and go for a walk, meet some new people. Im sure behind all those rude comments to one another your not as rude as you seem to be.

    • How did you find your way here? Are you the fairy godmother of the internet, saving the weirdos from their life of pain by dropping helpful hints full of bad grammar and punctuation?

      • Mama Pinkus

        I was going to suggest that hateignorance take time off from stalking socially-inept folk on the internet and sign up for some classes to learn proper grammar and punctuation.

  21. JustSayin

    I have to give her props on this…twitter is stupid and she didn’t want to be another kardashian who thinks thouest text will teach all thy minions how much they can learn from her, with the odd ‘staged’ swimsuit pic included. Leave twitter to the primadonnas.

  22. Megan Fox Bikini
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    her face is starting to look like a moon pie

  23. glasses frames uk

    Megan Fox is gorgeous :)

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