Heidi Montag: ‘I’m a virgin’ (A HA HA HA HA HA!)

August 19th, 2008 // 103 Comments

Apparently during Heidi Montag’s interview with Ryan Seacrest she claimed to still be a virgin. Chins McJugs has a hymen? Hilarious! Scope out this load of crap via Hollyscoop:

Speidi talked about how Heidi is “still a virgin” and how religious she is, insisting that her “next album is going to be a Christian one.”
“We don’t sin over here,” said Spencer. Who added that they place “pillows in between” them at night so they’re not tempted to have sex.

But Hollyscoop immediately caught Heidi in her bullshit when they found an old episode of The Hills where she has a pregnancy scare:

In the episode Heidi tells Spencer, “I took a pregnancy test,” but assured him that it turned out negative. Last we checked, if you’re a virgin, you wouldn’t need to take a pregnancy test. Sources tell Hollyscoop that “It’s just another PR stunt for them to gain more press for her album.”

No, you know what? I want the pregnancy scare to be fake and the virginity claim to be the real deal. Nothing would bring me more joy than knowing Spencer Pratt poses for these retarded pictures then goes home to hump a pillow. Now there’s a shining example of God’s existence. I’ve seen the light!

superficial

  1. Beckinsale's Saggy Diaper

    First?

  2. Dorepoll

    Virgin Shmirgin!

  3. Rant

    Heidi Montag is a virgin, George Bush is a member of mensa, Paris Hilton will win an Oscar, Perez Hilton will be relevent, Chris Cattan will make movies that will outgross Will Ferrell’s, and the world will then implode into the cavern know as Kim Kardashian’s ass.

  4. rough daddy

    why wouldnt they make comments like that? they get coverage dont they? no shame with these two…anything not to get a real job….

  5. sb

    Now, that’s about the funniest thing I’ve read this morning. The funniest, of course, is them thinking that anyone gives a shit other than to laugh at their sheer stupidity. I have never seen such vacuous morons in my life. I suppose that’s a testament to… something.

  6. BP79

    I’m just happy I’m this far up on the comment list.

  7. UrineToxicated

    Just go away you two….
    Just go away you two….
    Just…….go…..awayyyyyy………………

  8. Seb

    I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE Those FAKE photoshoots!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Deva

    Where the hell is Lee Harvey Oswald when you need him?

  10. Much better chance of Heidi being a virgin than Bush being a member of Mensa.

    Great post #3 & 9!

  11. caitie

    Haha, they’re so contrived and pathetic. I love that there are people like this.

    It makes my day. I feel better about myself.

    I’m very sad.

  12. Deva

    Thanks #10

  13. kristie

    I hardly ever comment but that last paragraph cracked me up. It’s been a while since this site was that funny. Thanks, Fish.

  14. SHE WAS BORN WITH A CLITORUS THE SIZE OF HER TOE?

  15. whgt

    They are idiots. I don’t know what that says about the rest of our nation for “feeding the fire” and putting them in the news. I’m sure people have said it numerous times before…but if we didn’t report on the celebrities doing stupid shit we’d have more time to focus on our own lives.

    I’m not attacking anyone at all, but I’m just saying if we didn’t have news and posts about idiots, they would stop being idiots and making money off of us.

  16. Anal Rape Aficianado

    Don’t worry guys, I’m going to kill them this weekend.

  17. Boner

    Usain Bolt just won the 200m. Fuckin’ eh!

  18. gobats

    Id love to shove my fist into that bitches open mouth

  19. alex

    #9: died 45 years ago.

    #11: it takes a picture of heidi montag to make you feel better about your life? ouch.

    #12: agree.

    #14: huh?

    #15: perhaps we’d have more time to focus on our own lives if we didn’t spend time posting comments on a gossip website?

    #16: $5 says you won’t.

  20. usps

    they totally debunk hitler’s master race theory.

  21. George Tecumseh Hamilton

    am i the only one who’d love to be the meat in a heidi and spencer sandwich? they’re just so clean and smooth. get the buttah.

  22. gotmilk?

    i hate her anyway, but i really hate everyone who carries their purse like she is in picture 3. is that necessary? it’s almost as irritating as spencer’s bleached out pubes on his face.

  23. Daniel

    I don’t find it too surprising that these two idiot’s form of birth control is pillows

  24. carlogo

    It’s a scientific fact that 100% of women with breast implants have lost their virginity.

  25. Yea - blah blah

    so if she takes it on the ass she still still thinks shes a virgin…

    Or my favorite line
    “Just because you dont fuck on Tuesdays don’t make you no virgin”

  26. ugh

    wait, what? if she is in fact super religious (we all know she isn’t), isn’t living together considered a sin? vapid cunts, both of them.

  27. Sam

    If they use a pillow as a contraceptive, that does mean she has a troll in her vagina?? Better known as Pillow Pants. (Clerks II reference)

  28. She'dEatMyPopsicle

    Maybe she’s never had a dick in there. She has definitely had a dick in her mouth. Picture 1 says that loud and clear. She’s likes the warm taste of meat in the morning.

  29. Oscar

    It is impossible to have a body that smoking hot and not enjoy it with penetration.

  30. Sammie

    These guys!!! haha I cannot believe how ridiculous these two are…haha

  31. Lauren

    Will someone please take a knife to her face.
    These two are so unbelievable it makes me sick.
    They are so undeserving of their press. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
    I hope they know what a joke they are to the entire world.

  32. Area Man

    Does she have some sort of medical condition that prevents her from closing her mouth when a photo is being taken?

    Or is just just a mouth breather?

  33. UK_Matt

    On behalf of the British People…who the fuck are these people? I could tolerate it when she had her tits out – but when its those too together? Its like a Christian Reich love-in.

  34. norton

    @ #3

    Flawless post. Simply flawless…. well done.

  35. .

    I just want to shove a grenade into that gaping maw.

  36. Heidi and Spencer are not virgins. When do pull bull-shit PR moves like this, they are only fucking themselves. Get it?

  37. devilsrain

    19. 10 bucks says 16. does

  38. MCcains tumor

    THEY BOTH NEED TO BE GANG BANGED BY THE OAKLAND RAIDERS.

  39. rough daddy

    #33 have no idea who they are and i live here,,,I think theyre on a show which is a knock off of the real world…

  40. Dave

    YOU STUPID MORONS. THE HILLS IS A SCRIPTED SHOW. THAT MEANS IT’S NOT REALITY. SO WHEN SHE TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST IT WAS A SCRIPT. YOU KNOW HARRISON FORD DOESNT REALLY HAVE A SPACE SHIP, OR FIGHT NAZI’S LOOKING FOR TREASURE. FUCKING RETARD FOR PUTTING THAT QUOTE UP THERE.

  41. C’mon you naysayers! I for one believe her. She’s probably a good Christian girl, which of course is just a fancy way of saying anal/ oral whore… just like Spence…

  42. Dorito Man

    A virgin?! Oh. My.
    This means she has no reason to shave it. Perhaps there is some
    wild-woman wilderness territory under her jeans after all.. Of course that would mean there is far too much woman there for Spencer to manage, after all he never leaves the house without his toothbrush, bug repellent spray and skin moisturizers. It’s kind of tough to visualise him putting on khakis, grabbing a machete and boldly conquering unexplored woman-jungle where no man has gone before. So that pillow he says he uses? Yeah the one that deflects his todger having sex with her? It’s probably the size of a cottonball.

  43. question

    does it make me a bad person if I would like to eat her box?

  44. winnie

    Her BIG mouth is always wide open because Spencer humps her head instead and therefore I believe she is a virgin.

  45. THE REAL BARELY STEARN

    The possibility of her being pregnant whilst remaining a virgin is perfectly reasonable. Jesus, people! Have you never freaking heard of getting pregnant from using a public toilet seat?!? I mean where the hell have you people been all your lives? Living in a freakin’ cave with Osama Bin Laden?! Forrest Gump laughs at you people.

  46. Bob White

    I was about to say-where is that freak anal rape afficianado with his chain saw when you need him.

    If she is a virgin it is because Spencer is gay, which we suspected all along. Also contemplate this…why would a “virgin” wear such revealing clothes? Perhaps she is also a cock tease.

    Is she only embracing a portion of Christianity and leaving off the bit about modesty? Oh yea, I forgot, you can pick and choose, what was I thinking. Let’s just sing some Christian “pop” and wear clothes befitting a stripper…no offense to strippers, at least they own what they are.

  47. michele

    This has been my fav. post since Brittany Spears fired her pool man because he was talking to K-fed about music! This was freaking great. I don’t really hate things, but I do hate this show. And all these rich snobs. And they’re seemingly endless drama that quit frankly no one who has a real opinion cares about. They all suck. And they are all without God in their life. And somewhere Heidi is taking a butt fire crap because she lied like a retard!

  48. she is not a virgin,
    in an episode of the hills she surprises spencer with the thought that she may be pregnant.

  49. heidi is definitely not a virgin….

  50. Kill it with fire.

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