Heidi Montag Mourns Its Maker
“Me all alone now.”
The mannequin formerly known as Heidi Montag came out of seclusion today, albeit briefly, to express her condolences over the loss of Dr. Frank Ryan, the only plastic surgeon brave enough to take all her MTV money in exchange for radical reconstructive surgery that suggests a deep psychological fracture. God rest his soul. Via Us Magazine:
“I am devastated to hear the news of Dr. Frank Ryan’s death,” she wrote on Twitter. “He was the most amazing person I have ever known. He was an angel and changed my life and the lives of everyone he met. He was the most brilliant talented surgeon who will ever exist. Dr. Frank Ryan changed the world.“
I think what Heidi meant is he tried to make her breasts as big as the world which, in fairness, makes him an angel in my book.
Rest in Peace, Dr. Frank. Your memory lives on and not just because Heidi’s non-biodegradable. Although it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to carve your initials somewhere on her. Anyone got a knife?