Heidi Klum & Seal Officially Separate

January 23rd, 2012 // 24 Comments

When a couple dresses up as that time the Silver Surfer made a reconnaissance mission to the Yam Nebula of Purple Tittylon 7 for Halloween, you just assume theirs is a love that will stand the test of time. Which is why with sad news, and a heavy heart, I can confirm that Heidi Klum and Seal are really calling it quits. While TMZ claims it’s because of Seal’s temper and The Daily Mail says it’s his partying, I think it’s safe to assume this has everything to do with Heidi Klum reverting back to her Nazi programming and it’s only a matter of time until she activates the Doomsday device. God save us all.

SEAL: But, Heidi, we have children.
HEIDI: Nein. Herr Fuhrer has children. MUAHAHAHA!
SEAL: What does that even mean?
HEIDI: No clue. Can you help me start this zeppelin?

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. God is Black

    Jungle fever das Ende……

  2. Austin "Danger" Powers

    She’s seeking a larger bbc

  3. JC

    No we’re never gonna survive unless….you stop making me wear these costumes…

  4. stevebeagle

    wonder if she stays on the coal burning kick

  5. woody

    Seal is a free man again, folks.

  6. Oh, she left him because of his temper and partying…..I thought it was his ugly face.

  7. Deacon Jones

    You know she’s into cosplay sex, you know it.

  8. Dude of Dudes

    Id bang other chicks too if this bitch made me dress up like a monkey. What, were they out of slave costumes?

  9. Felonious Monkey

    People who have to constantly make a spectacle out of their relationship by renewing their vows EVERY year (Really, is that necessary?) and having non-stop PDA and talking about how great their sex life is are trying to convince themselves and the world they belong together when they probably don’t have much in common beyond great sex. Marriage takes more than just having a hot sex life.

    • apollo

      Absolutely true. The ones that have the biggest talk, are probably fooling themselves. Then again, most relationships that are just great sex, rarely last more than a few months… maybe a year?

    • GeorgeWBush

      Who said they were having great sex…..there’s a reason guys have wandering eyes

  10. awhitedude

    This makes me sad. I really liked them as a couple, and I thought their relationship was strong. I guess they just had really good PR.

  11. I guess Heilactus was too busy eating worlds instead of polishing the Sealver Surfer’s schlong.

  12. Let’s be honest, does any other guy stand a chance? There’s an echo in her panties that won’t go away in her lifetime.

  13. Heidi Klum and Seal Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf lol

    they are insane but I love it

  14. Joe

    Hope he isn’t “scarred” for life.

    • Elisa

      at 36 she could be the mom of some of the other Victoria’s Secret models. Really? Since when is a 36 year old the mom of a 24 year old? If she had a baby when she was 12 years old, then yes but yuck! She itiapposnded me when she said that. And I am tired of people 25 and above calling themselves OLD. get real.

  15. SIN

    About time. He was one UGLY man.

  16. Jack

    I always found her kind of scrawny and high-waisted, except in certain photos that staged her best assets. There are many celebrity women who are ovehyped in the look dept.

  17. Heidi Klum and Seal Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:

    The Silver Seal: I want my photography room back! I demand my soul! I pledged that I would serve you, not give up my past!
    Galactits: We would discuss this another time, my Silver Seal. For now it is your duty – no, your obligation to seek out my next source of entertainment!
    The Silver Seal: It is YOUR obligation to return my cameras. For now and ever more!
    Galactits: I said GO!

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