Heidi Klum in a Bikini

May 10th, 2011 // 56 Comments

Here’s Heidi Klum vacationing in Miami over the weekend and you may notice a disproportionate amount of photos featuring her super-long German butt-crack. So, before everyone all gets bent out of shape, I’m not suggesting we should consider Hitler isn’t dead and has been seeking refuge in it’s lengthy canyon all these years. However, I don’t know how else you explain Heidi’s vagina trying to eat through her bathing suit without suggesting Nazi science. They’ll turn anything into a weap – Did that Toaster Strudel just pull a gun?

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got some milage.
    It might be time to hang up the bikinis.

  2. When you consider the number of Seal pups that have come out of these nether-regions, it’s a wonder Germany hasn’t declared it a national park.

  3. Heidi Klum Bikini
    angerinside
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what it would take to “Seal” a crack that big…..

  4. Deacon Jones

    “Well what have we here? What a cute little kitty! So, where’s Daddy?”

  5. angerinside

    I wonder what it would take to “Seal’ a crack that big……………

  6. Pierced_God

    Ha! take off the losers hat grannie! the Lakers are a flaming sack of shit! May kobe rot in the fiery bowels of hell along with his merry band of cunt wipes….no kindly go Fuck Yourself

  7. angerinside

    Pic #5 Maintain eye contact with it. Try not to show fear and if it lunges at you, for god’s sake make sure to square your shoulders and let it hit you in the face. It’ll probably kill you, but St-Peter will high 5 you on the way in.

  8. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Rufburger
    Commented on this photo:

    There comes a time where tire rotation is no longer an option.. time to put on a new set of shoes

  9. She has the body of a chick who should keep her clothes on.

    • It had to be said

      Actually, she has the body of a 38 year old mother of four who has not been rebuilt like that Kate wench. I don’t want to nail her, but I won’t bad-mouth her either.

    • any hetero

      You’re out of your fuckin’ mind, MS!

    • yeah, i am sure she’ll take note next time she just wants to go to the beach.

      “Man, my body isn’t exceptionally pleasing to some peoples’ eyes, so…im going to walk around in my clothes. i guess ill just have to get my clothes wet too. it’s cool”

      i hate when people say, that person shouldn’t be wearing a bathing suit. like, fuck they are swimming, what should they be wearing? you know those oversized white tees dont help anything

  10. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    “These aren’t the ass shots we’ve been looking for”

  11. rican

    I would still run my tongue up and down that looooooong crack.

  12. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Mia
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooo sounds like a lot of jealousy here! The woman was on the beach with her kids- not on a photo shoot. I can just imagine the hideous bodies of the people who posted negatively about Heidi! Ewww Scary thought! What is supposedly so wrong with her body? She looks fabulous!

  13. Helen

    It’s time for her to start buying one-piece bathing suits. She’s not rocking a bikini like she used to. Too bad, she’s not even 40 yet, and has the body of a sixty-five year old. What a shame, what a pity.

    • any hetero

      What the fuck are you talking about?

      Obviously this board is overrun with basement dwellers with balls that haven’t yet dropped.

  14. jill

    She has no body and a flat booty, but sit and spin on the racial COMMENTS, she LOVES THAT BIG SNAKE IF SHE DIDNT SHE WOULDNT HAVE PUSHED OUT 3 KIDS.. GO GET OVER IT!

  15. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Hola
    Commented on this photo:

    She could smuggle mexicans across the border under her butt cheeks!

  16. She is totally dissing German national hero, Dirk Nowitzki.

  17. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Drundel
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone had a tummy tuck.

  18. Drundel

    She needs to get back in the gym.

  19. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Hola
    Commented on this photo:

    WHOA!

  20. Rough the π maker

    Pretty good for someone who queffed 30 kids…

  21. Mia

    Oooo sounds like a lot of jealousy here! The woman was on the beach with her kids- not on a photo shoot. I can just imagine the hideous bodies of the people who posted negatively about Heidi! Ewww Scary thought! What is supposedly so wrong with her body? She looks fabulous!

  22. tlmck

    They used to call her “the body”. Never thought so then, and certainly not now. is a pretty decent talk show guest though.

  23. Heidi Klum Bikini
    emuchic
    Commented on this photo:

    is she a smoker? and if so/if not, why does it look as if the photos have been retouched so as not to show her holding a cig?

    look carefully in a few shots, you’ll see what I mean.

  24. the captain

    vacation?
    ……BUT SHE NEVER HAD A SERIOUS JOB SINCE HER YOUTH!!

  25. Mark R

    Those SEALs are destroying everything lately.

  26. Anya

    Her waist is soooooo wide!!

  27. dr.jimmy

    still she looks billion times better than most of women who have four kids. Her belly looks better than Christina Milian’s, actually.

  28. Greasy Anus

    Age is a bitch. I’ve woken up next to better looking heroin addicts.

  29. Doc Schweinstrudel

    I really don’t see what’s wrong with her ass, it looks ok to me.

  30. Jovy

    The Lakers suck.

  31. Heidi Klum Bikini
    cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    not attractive. she needs to cover up.

  32. Heidi Klum Bikini
    cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    not attractive. she needs to cover up

  33. George W.

    The majority of bloggers have nothing else to do. If you took a picture of them you would puke in your own mouth at their loathesome bodies. It is easy to be critical of everyone else. Turn that highly perceltive eye on yourself and be critical.

    She is a mother of four, working a career and keeping her family together. She is faithful to her man despite social norms to the contrary. They successfully keep their interracial marriage together despite naysayers like most commenting bloggers. I personally wish them the best as a family. Our social discourse on the net should be as intellectual and thought provoking as in real life. Save the gutter talk for the gutter.

    • Girl

      I agree! I mean- it is just a fun website. I don’t expect to read anything especially thought provoking here in the comments. I enjoy fun, humorous banter, but a surprising amount of people just come across as ignorant a-holes in the comments. I can’t believe the amount of people who look at a mother and automatically think about her vagina. It’s astounding and strange, and just goes to show how little the general male public know about the female body. Also- when there are pics of a woman who is good looking but fake (either plastic surgery or photoshopped or both), people hate on her for being fake. When there are truly candid photos of a woman, people usually seem to hate on her for looking like an actual real woman.

      I don’t understand how so many people’s ideas of the female form can be so deranged!! Our society has created a bunch of very messed up people.

  34. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck. Not in a good way.

  35. Heidi Klum Bikini
    turdcutterlicker
    Commented on this photo:

    Seal has made a big mess there.

    I’d still lick her turd cutter.

Leave A Comment