Because it’s Break-Up Day on The Superficial, Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko apparently got sick of answering questions about how his penis doesn’t murder her and have released separate statements announcing their separation. Hers via the Shire Thain, and his by courier from Jotunheim, land of the Frost Giants. People reports:
“Even though we’ve decided splitting up is best for both of us, we have an amazing amount of love and respect for each other and remain very close friends,” says the Scream 4 actress, 21.
“We had a great time together, but it’s not that easy to manage a relationship between two continents,” he says. “I have a lot of respect for Hayden as a person and as a friend, and I believe we’ll keep our friendship even after the separation.”
Translation: “She caught me banging Polly Pocket.”
Photo: Splash News