Hayden Panettiere is Single, Too

May 12th, 2011 // 40 Comments

Because it’s Break-Up Day on The Superficial, Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko apparently got sick of answering questions about how his penis doesn’t murder her and have released separate statements announcing their separation. Hers via the Shire Thain, and his by courier from Jotunheim, land of the Frost Giants. People reports:

“Even though we’ve decided splitting up is best for both of us, we have an amazing amount of love and respect for each other and remain very close friends,” says the Scream 4 actress, 21.
“We had a great time together, but it’s not that easy to manage a relationship between two continents,” he says. “I have a lot of respect for Hayden as a person and as a friend, and I believe we’ll keep our friendship even after the separation.”

Translation: “She caught me banging Polly Pocket.”

Photo: Splash News


  1. Steve

    I’ll bet she looks good gagging on it.

  2. Hugh Gentry

    sexiest midget alive!! Would love to see her taking the big hard one!

    • vitobonespur

      I don’t want to see guys fucking her and eating her pussy. I want to see ME fucking her and eating her pussy!

  3. Wladimir responded, “It turns out finding blonde midgets in Russia is much easier than I originally anticipated.”

  4. Polk

    In the back seat of the clown car?

  5. Dank

    Hugh – what? you want to see a big hard one?

  6. Dank

    Maybe now she’ll stop getting that feeling in her throat whenever her vagina would push up against it

  7. Deacon Jones

    Damaged goods after that fucker.

    “The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, “Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy.” She said, “Why did you say that twice?” I said, “I didn’t.”

  8. sorry but they looked ridic together

  9. Drundel

    I bet he wrote, “Wladimir was here” inside her.

  10. VandaL

    I’ve has so many wanks of this little beauty I don’t think I need the real thing anymore.

    Oh, go on then.

  11. It had to be said

    It gives a whole new meaning to “pocket pool” when your girlfriend can climb into your front pocket . . .

  12. FruitLoop

    So, is she saying that she both Loved AND Respected it every time he tore her a new asshole?

  13. God is Black

    I use to fuck a girl who was only 4’11.The sex was amazing since being that small any position was possible but talking to her like with a 2 yr old got really fucken tiring period !

    • cc

      Have to agree. I am 6’4″ and dated a girl 5ft nothing and a 100 pounds. You are right about the sex (great) and the feeling like you are talking to a child (annoying). Of course, her wretched personality didn’t help things either. One of those small people who desperately overcompensates.

      • I’m 7’1″ and dated a gymnast who was 4’9″. The sex was incredible, but picking her up from high school always felt awkward.

  14. Cock Dr

    Release of sex tape = revitalization of entertainment career

  15. Rob

    The one major upside to their height difference was that by scrolling down the page, I could always crop his head out of photos while still getting the full hayden experience…


    I will crush you…

  16. grobpilot

    Guess she was getting tired of stuffing her innards back inside every time she tried to take a walk somewhere.

  17. Lugh

    I hope this doesn’t detract from Wlad’s concentration, because I want to see him splatter David Haye’s face across the canvas like he splattered the remnants of Hayden’s pussy across her insides. Haye’s a fucking punk.

  18. She’s still famous?

  19. Savalas

    Reports are that Hayden caught Wladimir having sex with another woman…

    …his penis was coming up Hayden’s throat, through her mouth, and into the vagina of another.

  20. JOSH

    she has an ugly figure, short and squat with thick legs and no torso..yeah guys, thats very sexy,lol…this chick is garbage bodied. sucks.

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      It’s not like she threw herself at you and stalked you, asking to fuck her and tell her she was pretty, why hating ?

  21. horny pig

    That pussy is so mangled by now . It probably resembles hamburger meat by now.

  22. Minerva Smelibut

    Gore Vidal predicted this

  23. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Whatever. I mantained a relationship between continents and we got married and are very happy. Speak for yourself, Volodya.

  24. …and hollow. Single and hollow.

  25. tlmck

    She must have another big one lined up.

  26. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Ok. I’m Russian and I want to say that Hayden Panettiere is the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen, there are hardly ever such good looking women in Russia.
    It’s a pity that such a nice couple broke up.
    Maybe because unlike many other celebrities who claim they are together with somebody and “very happy” – take this Ashton Kutcher guy and Demi – they (Klitchko and Panettiere) actually looked happy together. It’s like always a big happy smile on her face and always a smirk of a cat who just ate big cream -on his. They give a feeling (just from looking) that they must be nice people themselves and was always an inspiration to look at them.
    I respect borthers Klitchkos greatly because they ended hegemony of black men’s always being champions in boxing and finally a white athlete could win for a change. But breaking up with someone like Hayden might be a real loss. I believe he should have proposed her and they should have got married – but I’m not a specialist and it’s not my business.
    Honestly, I don’t understand how someone may not like this couple

  27. Chuck Bass

    She should just start dating darkies like the KharASSians.

  28. NobodySpecial

    Go for it, Masi Oka! You know you’ve wanted her ever since Heroes! Yes, I’m a Hiro/Claire shipper.

  29. How

    Once you taste the grass and ass, there’s nothing more special to discover…

  30. Hayden Panettiere Single
    Commented on this photo:

    I always thought, they looked good together. Damn.

  31. James

    This was SUCH an odd match-up. He’s like 8″ and ugly as a mule. But as is most likely, hung like the proverbial horse, and therefore perfectly fit her very obvious giant-ravages-me-in-dominating-fashion fetish.

    Oh yeah, he “respected her personality”, alright.

  32. Hayden Panettiere Single
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE IS SOOOOOO TINY next to him that is so so so sickening!!! How is that attractive!!!

Leave A Comment