Hayden Panettiere Loves Giant Penis So Much She’s Marrying It (Not A Jon Hamm Post)

March 27th, 2013 // 22 Comments
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Presumably to make Scotty McKnight feel like he has the smallest penis in the world, Hayden Panettiere not only ran back to Wladimir Klitschko but is now secretly engaged to him, according to Us Weekly:

Hayden Panettiere and boxer Wladimir Klitschko are going the distance during round 2! The Nashville star, who reconciled with her Ukrainian boyfriend in January, is now planning their wedding, a source tells Us Weekly.
“Very few people know, and she isn’t wearing her ring publicly yet,” adds the friend of the duo, who first parted ways in May 2011 after two years of dating.

So basically Wladimir Klitschko’s penis is so gigantic Hayden Panettiere wants to lock herself in a never-ending hell with it for the rest of her life. Which raises an interesting question, how is it not knocking down planes? Because, seriously, marriage? Is there an observation deck? I don’t get it.

Photos: Ramey


  1. Hello Kitty, indeed! *rowr*

  2. Cock Dr

    You can’t blame the big Ukranian for not being able to stay away from his little blonde American spinner.
    Let’s hope it’s twu luv 4ever.

  3. Marriage is mostly only hell for the man, Fish.

  4. Hayden Panettiere Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t that be written on the front?

  5. Josephus

    Hollywood blonde gets tits done. Fish uses photos of when she looked like a boy. THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL HERE?

  6. Hayden Panettiere Bikini
    John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s that hanging out her rear end…

  7. Inner Retard

    “Is now planning their wedding… Very few people know,” – Does Klitschko know? Just concerned for him since women seldom ask men about these things.

  8. Buddy The Elf

    So the best she can do is marry a Ukrainian boxer that is 2 feet taller and 15 years older? Uh – congrats.

  9. huge cock devastation is about as attractive as her future husband’s battered boxing face.

  10. DeucePickle

    Are there confirmed reports of him having a giant wang or is everyone just assuming based on how big the rest of him is ?

    P.S….. My grammar sucks

  11. right

    If he’s smart, he will play the “engagement card” for all it’s worth. Pound her backdoor and use up every other hole, then dump her. Marriage is for suckers.

  12. Hayden Panettiere Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    y’all are crazy judgmental. i think her body is slammin.

  13. ace11

    Lucky Guy…..He sure is

  14. Hayden Panettiere Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    What a royal screw up! Isn’t that supposed to say “Hello, Pussy?”

  15. Skeeter

    She looks great. I’d like to put my tongue up her asshole.

  16. puhleez

    Hello Kitty huh. That is one boring ass bitch.

  17. Hayden Panettiere and Amanda Bynes are examples of the lives that have been destroyed pedophiles in Hollywood, For example that fat, disgusting pedophile Dan Schneider. Hell, he’s the one who knocked up Jamie Lynn Spears. How someone hasn’t put a bullet in the head of that fat fuck is beyond me.

  18. Hayden Panettiere Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She is everyone gay male pedophile’s dream…or a hetero man who likes compact women.

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