Hayden Panettiere’s New Implants Tried To Be Christina Aguilera

I try to be nice to Hayden Panettiere. Mostly because she went through some shit recently, but also because of all those years I spent harboring a Hilary Duff-level crush on her thanks to the first season of Heroes when she was totally over the age of 18 (Nobody Google that.), and the hundreds of jokes I made about Wladimir Klitschko’s giant penis murdering her mid-coitus. Seriously, though, how does she fit on it? How does she fit on it? Anyway, that said, here she is doing a horrible Christina Aguilera impression, which I wouldn’t blame on Hayden Panettiere as much as whoever dressed her and said, “Oh, by the way, when Xtina performs she has a pine cone up her anus. Try and capture that.”

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