“I said I like my burgers RARE.”
Like most Americans, The Superficial will honor our fallen soldiers by taking the day off and pretending every single of them died at Pearl Harbor and/or fighting Hitler because, let’s be honest, WWII is really the last great war we can justify by saying, “In our defense, he had that mustache.” And if that sounds offensive, wait until we’ve drunkenly abandoned all sense of pretense by 11 a.m.
SON: Dad, why do we get the day off to have a cookout?
DAD: Ya ever see the Rambo where he blows up Nam with a bow and arrow?
DAD: Then you fucking suck. *vomits into charcoal briquets*
Greatest Country on Earth. See you Tuesday,
- The Superficial
(Want to honor our troops without using questionable satire? Visit the IAVA.)
Photo: Bobby Campbell