Halle Berry’s boyfriend is practically a terrorist

Godammit. First the stock market drops lower than Amy Winehouse looking for her imaginary crack rock in the shag carpeting, and now Halle Berry is pulling up stakes from America because her model boyfriend is a mama’s boy. The Montreal Gazette reports:

A small town in the Laurentians just got a little more beautiful. Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry and her Montreal partner, model Gabriel Aubry, have bought a house in St. Hippolyte, Que.
The million-dollar home, which the Hollywood star and her boyfriend reportedly bought several weeks ago, sits on 63 acres of land overlooking Molson Lake.
Aubry, who is the father of Berry’s daughter, grew up near Montreal and his parents still live in the suburb of Laval.
“It feels great, Aubry said. “Anything we can do in our own hometown is always a good feeling.

Enjoy that good feeling while it lasts, Aubry. First you compromise the integrity of Halle Berry’s vagina by getting her pregnant. Then you try to rob America of one of its most precious natural resources altogether. We’ve invaded countries for way less than this, and if you think we won’t resort to biological warfare, you’re sadly mistaken. That’s right–we’re not above stuffing Pamela Anderson full of Ecstasy and shipping her right back across the border. Try us.

Photos: WENN