Halle Berry Seems Reasonable

February 9th, 2012 // 52 Comments
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Halle Berry
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When we last left Halle Berry she was in the middle of making it look like Gabriel Aubry assaulted their nanny so she could strip him of visitation rights which absolutely no one bought including the judge. Since then there’s been a legal circus that’s so far resulted in their daughter Nahla being ordered to receive counseling, and Halle and Gabriel have also been ordered to attend mutual counseling so they can learn to parent together as a team which sounds entirely reasonable and constructive. So naturally Halle’s decided instead to up and move to France with Olivier Martinez – who she’s engaged to for real now – so Gabriel can’t see Nahla at all. TMZ reports:

Halle Berry is asking the judge in her custody war for permission to move to France with Nahla — and baby daddy Gabriel Aubry is saying … over my dead body.
TMZ has learned Halle filed papers with the court requesting the move and the hearing is pending. Sources tell us Gabriel is livid because he believes the move is punitive and designed to strip him of any contact with his daughter.

Of course none of this makes a lick of sense because a.) women always set aside emotion to make clear, rational decisions that don’t add to an ongoing mental list of how each and every one of them is crazy, and b.) it’s not like a child custody case is ever going to end with, “Okay, who has the vagina? You win.” Absolutely nothing here is precedented.

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. EricLr

    Who would have thought that marrying a beautiful, narcissistic actress with a long history of failed relationships could possibly end in anything but a long and happy marriage?

    • That Bastard Tony

      Makes me wonder what the fuck Oliver Martinez is thinking.

      • Do_Freebird

        He’s thinking:
        L’argent, l’argent, PUSSY, l’argent, l’argent, PUSSY, l’argent, l’argent, l’argent, PUSSY, l’argent, l’argent, PUSSY, l’argent, l’argent, PUSSY, l’argent, l’argent, PUSSY, etc

        L’argent is French for Money..

      • Carla

        LOL FreeB!

  2. dontkillthemessenger

    And here we thought the serial cheater (David Justice) and the guy who had to go to sex addicts anonymous (Eric Benet) were the crazy ones in her relationships. Halle’s certifiable.

    BTW, I would set an entire state on fire for one night with her.

  3. BeBo Wobbley

    Halle Berry looks more and more like a giant walking self-absorbed cunt every time she makes a move in her custody fight. Too bad for her daughter that Mommy is such a bitch…wanna bet how the daughter turns out as a woman…..

  4. Really Real

    If she really cared about the child she would move to Africa.

  5. Johnny P!

    From winning an Oscar to Catwoman.
    From being the “Toast of the Town” to no one really wants to work with her.
    From being a droolworthy babe to an unstable nut-job that’s quickly unravelling.
    A gorgeous, firm-breasted, sexy nut-job, but unstable nonetheless…
    I’m sure this third marriage will work out just fine.

    • Do_Freebird

      I agree with all you said except ……. this is her FOURTH marriage.

      She’s still a suicide prone nut job who will be given sole custody of a child. Oh and don’t forget about the alcohol fueled hit and runs.

      Truly Mom of the Year.

  6. okay, Halle Berry is a super, psychotic bitch from Hell. Now that that is out of the way, not every woman is like her.

    As I said in TMZ, there are too many men out there who DON’T want to be a part of their kids’ lives. Here is a guy fighting like hell for his parental rights and she is just trying to fuck him over.

    When my husband up and left myself and our kids he went MONTHS without seeing them or having anything to do with them. It hurt the kids so much and they MISSED him. They love him. Now, a few years later he has pulled his head out of his ass and wants to be in their lives. I think he is an asshole but it DOESN’T MATTER how I feel. I want what is best for the kids, which is for them to have time with their father.

    Halle Berry needs to stfu, swallow her hatred for Gabriel and think about her daughter and what is best for her. Cunt.

    • disillusionisreal

      Agreed. I don’t watch her movies anymore. Why give her my hard earned cash.

      • That Bastard Tony

        What movies? The last thing I paid to see her in was X-Men 3. Apparently, Hollywood has also clued in on how is perceived publicly nowadays.

        The thing that really pisses me off about this situation is Halie using her child to spite Gabriel. Anyone who uses their kids to get back at their ex’s (whether intentionally or sub-consciously) needs to have their parental rights revoked. If you want to piss your ex off, break into their car and take a dump in the air filter. Worked for me.

        That Bastard Tony
        Jacksonville State Penitentiary, Cell Block 5

      • Carla

        ahahaa!! LOVE ya, Bastard T!

  7. The Royal Penis

    Dude shoulda known that by dropping a load in her he was effectively smashing his own face in.

  8. Do_Freebird

    There is a fourth person in this dynamic that is kind of keeping in the background, that being of course the great thespian Olivier Martinez. Here are some facts of the incredible artist that is Olivier:

    > I did a little checking on the acting career of her boyfriend Olivier Martinez. I’m sure they are moving to Paris not just for her, but for him also – actually the man basically has no career other than leaching onto Halle Berry and holding on tight.

    > In the last five years Olivier Martinez has taken part in exactly FOUR moves, the newest of which, something called “Deauville” is going straight to VOD.

    > His latest theatre release movie, which is not out yet is called “Dark Tide”, and it stars Him and —- Halle Berry. Yep, a vanity project by Halle as she drags her lover into the water to make a heroic woman in the water film. Looks like a dog too – a shark themed movie where if you believe the one trailer out so far, will be basically Halle showing off her aging but still do-able body – I smell direct to video for it.

    > The movie before that was “Knight and Day” from 2010 where IMDB listed his effort as “Uncredited – Beach Scene”. No dialog, no acting ability needed, nothing but stand around. No doubt Halle kissed Tom Cruise’s a$$ so that Olivier could get some gas money.

    > The only other movie was “Blood and Chocolate” in 2007 – a teenage vampire flick. You don’t remember that one? Don’t worry, no one remembers that dog. Total US take less than four milion.

    > So there you have the last five years of Olivier Martinez’ professional life. Going to Europe isn’t to further Halle Berry’s professional life, and her boyfriend doesn’t have a professional life. He just along to take Halle out and to service her sexual needs. I don’t blame him, it’s better than working for a living, and she’s probably just as insane in bed as she is in real life.

    > Face it, Halle Berry will win this and take her brood to France – unfortunately. The mother almost always does. She will go to hide out and spite the father of her child – she’s done it for years, and won’t stop anytime soon. The father of her child will be able to get jobs in France. After all he’s a top men’s model and speaks fluent French – he is after all French Canadian. After all, the girl does need a father figure – I doubt the French Gigolo boffing Halle right now doesn’t fit that bill.

    > I’m sure Halle will have many weeks if not months of wedded bliss with this leach. Congratulations, couldn’t have happened to a more psychotic person.

    • Enidaj

      Just…wow. You have way too much time on your hands.

    • Do_Freebird

      One other thing Grasshopper. After 37 years of teaching I have all the time to do anything that I fucking well please to do!

      • Cher X

        Sure but you don’t have to bore the rest of us with it.

      • Carla

        FUCK y’all ungrateful dickbags. I appreciate FB’s wonderful cut & paste summary of Mr. Martinez’s downward slide. All this time I thought dude still had the hot career he had when he did that one film with Jolie & that other one Unfaithful banging whatsherface

      • Carla

        FUCK y’all ungrateful dickbags. I appreciate FB’s wonderful cut & paste summary of Mr. Martinez’s downward slide. All this time I thought dude still had the hot career he had when he did that one film with Jolie & that other one Unfaithful banging whatsherface

  9. Do_Freebird

    One of the reasons that Berry says she has to move to France is that she is being followed by psychotics trying to do her harm. And in a way I agree.

    I’m positive that at least one psycho WILL follow Halle to France. In fact, that psycho will follow her to the ends of the Earth. No matter how hard she tries, that nut job will always be with her.
    Who’s that psycho? Why it’s none other than Halle Berry. That’s right, the same psycho who on more than one occasion, said she tried to commit suicide. This is the person you want to take a child to a foreign country where they don’t know the language, will become isolated, and more and more depressed with each coming day.

  10. Halle Berry Breasts
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she does get her daughter away from that racist bastard. He tries to hide behind marrying a black woman, and fathering black children, but we still know…

  11. That Bastard Tony

    Damn man, why does the first black woman to win a Best Actress Oscar have to be a nutjob. This isn’t going to look good in the history books I can tell you that. Makes me wish Angela Basset has won one first… and was cast as Storm.

    And guys, I’m almost positive Halie is LOUSY in bed. Eric Benet was forced into sex therapy by the powers that be for simply trying to sex with an unwilling Halie. Trust me, if you have to go two months of a marriage without sex, you’d look like you need therapy too… especially after seeing Billy Bob destroy her in Monsters Balls.. I mean Ball.

  12. Do_Freebird

    Berry was not the first black actress to win an Academy award. I got the following off the Internet.

    When Hattie McDaniel won the Oscar in 1939 for her supporting role in “Gone with the Wind,” she was the first black person to be given an Oscar. Being aware of the historical importance of the moment, she did not attempt to be funny. Rather, Hattie McDaniel knew that her speech must be imbued with her own singular humility while warmly expressing collective pride. She opened her speech with a very warm “thank you” to the audience and openly acknowledged that it made her “feel very, very humble.” Before closing with, “My heart is too full to tell you just how I feel…”, she embraced the entire audience with, “I sincerely hope I shall always be a credit to my race and to the motion picture industry.”

    Wheb she won this award, African Americans – if they were allowed in theaters at all, sat in the back or in the balcony. McDaniel once said when asked if it bothered her that most parts she got were servants said – “i’d rather play a maid than be one”

    • Gen

      Didn’t Whoopi goldberg win the Oscar for best supporting actress before Halle?

      • That Bastard Tony

        Hattie McDaniel and Whoopi won for Best Supporting Actress while Halie won the first Best Actress Oscar given to a black actress (not trying to nitpick, just being accurate). She actually brought her Oscar to the Razzies where she won Worst Actress for Catwoman.

  13. sc4play

    Reasonable? Boi!! You been looking too long at dem boobays again!!! Gets you into trouble EVERY damn time!

  14. Carla

    “…over his dead body.”

    Watch your back, Aubry, bitch craycray enough to off your ass.

  15. forrest gump

    unfortunately she hates N*GGERS, folks!!

  16. Beautiful, but a complete whacko. I wouldn’t let her be a mother to Fish, or Photo Boy; two fifty year-old cellar-dwelling geek-boys.

  17. BOB


  18. Herman Bumfudle

    it sounds like the judge is a nitwit. once gabriel is on a hate rant he won’t let go of it. i have over a million followers on face book and gabriel acted like he knew me and then threatened me for being friends with halle. he is creepy!

  19. Steelerchick


  20. James

    I don’t get it – why is she being called a psycho bitch and such and such?

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