Halle Berry Prepares for Huge, Beautiful, Ample, Chocolate Custody Battle

Halle Berry has apparently dropped out of a movie for the sole purpose of whooping Gabriel Aubry’s ass in court over custody of their daughter, according to People:

“Halle has serious concerns for her daughter’s well-being while in the care of her father for any extended period of time and is prepared to take all necessary steps to protect her,” the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE.
To clear her schedule for custody litigation, Berry, 44, pulled out of the film New Year’s Eve, set to start filming this week in New York. She’s being replaced by Katherine Heigl.
“She has attempted to resolve these custody issues amicably with her daughter’s father, Gabriel Aubry, directly, but given his lack of cooperation, Halle has no choice but to seek swift judicial intervention,” her rep says.

This news gives credence to reports that Halle has been spying on Gabriel, but I don’t see any way his lawyers are going to let this thing go to court. Think about it: It’ll be a custody battle between an Oscar-winning pair of breasts and a French idiot who stuck his penis in an Armenian ass-mountain of lies. Just typing that sentence has me pulling random kids off the street to give Halle Berry custody of, and possibly pretending my mouse is a gavel while yelling, “These titties are out of order!” I should’ve gone to law school.

Photos: Flynet